Episodes Archives - Shades of Strong

In today’s episode of the UNCAPING, UNMASKING, and UNHIDING series, Shirl and Natty take  look at Annalise’s lack of emotional safety and the situational or childhood trauma that contributed it to thereby leading her in manipulative and controlling behavior.  A few things they explored in this conversation were the varying circumstances that causes feelings of lack of security and safe...

In today’s episode of the UNCAPING, UNMASKING, and UNHIDING series, Shirl and Natty take a look at Annalise’s response to her lived experiences to determine what her trauma response is — fight, flight, fawn or freeze.  While the fight trauma response is about self-preservation and often times vindication, the flight trauma response is about fleeing the situation physically, menta...

Growing up in an unpredictable or unsafe environment forces you into a space where you feel the need to control everything and everyone.  Such was the case with Annalise Keating. In yesterday’s episode, Shirl and Natty discussed Annalise’s cape and mask as the master manipulator and master performer.  In today’s episode they chat it up about how her manipulative behavior gave bir...

There’s nothing badass about being a MASTER MANIPULATOR or a MASTER PERFORMER, but some how Annalise Keating makes it look desirable.  Join Shirl in Natty in today’s episode of Uncaping, Unmasking, and Unhiding, where they  start the process of UNCAPING AND UNMASKING Annalise Keating from the hit show, How to Get Away with Murder. While Oliva Pope and Cookie Lyon were caught up in peop...

Aren’t you tired of trying to prove your worth, your love, yourSELF to all the people? In today’s episode of Uncaping, Unmasking, and Unhiding, as Shirl and Natty wrap up their conversation on unmasking Cookie Lyon, they offer some practical and easily implementable strategies to support you in stepping out of the space of feeling like you have something to prove.   One of the masks th...

Have you been or are you now someone’s ride or die? In today’s episode of Uncaping, Unmasking, and Unhiding, Shirl and Natty give you a peek inside at what being the ride or die has looked like in their lives from a romantic and parental point of view… …because just in case you’re wondering, you can be a ride or die to your parents as well. As a matter of fact, you ca...

In today’s episode of Uncaping, Unmasking, and Unhiding Natty and I are shedding light on how being a “people prover” robs us of our vulnerability, our self-confidence, and our worthiness.  We also talk about how often Black women are “misunderstood” and as a result are labeled as “angry” and how fighting to prove we’re not angry is a losing battle....

Cookie Lyon didn’t just wake up one morning thinking, “I got sh*t to prove”.  Her lived experiences pushed her into that space. Although you’ve probably never given it much thought, the same holds true for you. Your need to prove yourself is rooted in your lived experiences dating back to childhood. In today’s episode of Uncaping, Unmasking, and Unhiding “featur...

Listen! Cookie Lyon DID NOT come out the gate swinging. The way we see it (considering all the hell she went through) she had two options — FIGHT or FLIGHT, and if you know anything about Cookie Lyon, you KNOW she is NOT about that FLIGHT life.  In today’s episode of Uncaping, Unmasking, and Unhiding we’re taking a look at the fight trauma response as it relates to Cookie Lyon, a...

Alright guys!! Today we’re continuing our conversation on Cookie Lyons — the RIDE or DIE chick none of us wanted to be.  As much as we LOVE Cookie Lyon, we are SO NOT here for how (on so many occasions) she was willing to RIDE or DIE for Luscious.  So, I think it’s safe to say that for this Black Superwoman, her kryptonite is definitely her ride or die characteristics.  One of th...

This week we’re peeling back the layers of another “Black Superwoman” in our 30 Days to Uncaping, Unmasking, and Unhiding series. To some, Cookie Lyon of the hit show Empire, may be  the epitome of the angry Black woman because she’s loud ,  rude, and   obnoxious… …but we LOVE her and we happen to think that she’s the epitome of the GREATNESS — the S...

In today’s episode we’re wrapping up our conversation on Olivia Pope. Over the past week we’ve take a deep dive into her people pleasing characteristics and behaviors to get a bird’s eye view of why she does life the way she does.  It is hope that you were able to recognize some of your own people pleasing characteristics, how they were “birthed” into you, and w...

We are continuing our conversation on the dangers of living a life of people pleasing and how Black women easily fall prey to it because of the unreasonable expectations we place on ourselves and how we succumb to the outrageous expectations of others. There are countless negative consequences attached to people pleasing. I n today’s episode we take a look at what ten years of people pleasin...

People pleasing may seem like a harmless act of love”, but the truth is it can lead to serious health risks, including stress, anxiety, and depression.  It is virtually impossible to be all the things to all the people AND prioritize your own self care. People pleasing leaves little time for rest, relaxing, or exercising which can lead to anger, burn out, and  overwhelming feelings of sadnes...

As we continue “uncaping” and “unmasking” Olivia Pope & the people pleaser in her, we discover that people pleasers often start out as PARENT PLEASER If  children spend the majority of their childhood/teen years conforming to the needs, desires, and expectations of their parents, and are constantly seeking approval and acceptance, they’ll eventually start believin...

We’re baaaccck!!!!   In Day 3 of 30 Days of Uncaping, Unmasking, and Unhiding we’re taking a look at the side effects of the Black Superwoman Syndrome..  We’re continuing our examination of Scandal’s Olivia Pope and how the characteristcs of the Black SUPERWOMAN  show up in our individual lives. Today’s episode looks at how and why Olivia didn’t have the emotion...

We’re back with day 2 of 30 Days of Uncaping, Unmasking, and Unhiding the Strong Black Superwoman. This series takes on the task of peeling back the layers of four popular television characters [Olivia Pope, Annalise Keating, Cookie Lyon, and Mary Jane Paul], who in their individual roles embody the stereotypical Strong Black Superwoman.  In today’s episode we continue examining why Ol...

Welcome to day one  of 30 Days of Uncaping, Unmasking, and Unhiding the Strong Black Superwoman. Over the next 30 days we’re going to peel back the layers of four popular television characters [Olivia Pope, Annalise Keating, Cookie Lyon, and Mary Jane Paul], who in their individual roles embody the stereotypical Strong Black Superwoman.  First up is OLIVIA POPE.  In this episode we start pee...

The Black SUPERWOMAN aka the trope of the Strong Black Woman isn’t going to magically disappear by closing our eyes, clicking our heels and saying POOF BE GONE.  That  stoic, unbendable Black woman that we’re all too familiar with is not only ingrained into the soul of SOCIETY, it’s also deeply rooted in the souls of Black women across the globe, w hich means slaying Superwoman is goin...

“You’re out here being superwoman — doing all the things, then when they expect it from you, you get an attitude.” Malaika Simmons did not come to play games with y’all in  this episode.  She said if you don’t want to be called superwoman, say it with your WHOLE chest … DON’T CALL ME SUPERWOMAN !! This conversation was everything I hoped it would be....

When you think about uncaping, unmasking, and unhiding the Black female body, what’s the first thing that comes to mind for you? Nicole D. Vick joined me in the virtual studio today to answer that question.  She and I had a “real talk” conversation about how politicized the Black female body [from our hair to our feet] is and how the Black female body is scrutinized so much that Black women often...

Strong Black women didn’t just miraculously appear on the scene. They were little Black girls who grow up to be strong Black women. In this episode of the Shades of Strong podcast we take a deep dive into how Black women are socialized to strong even before they leave their mothers’ womb, thereby making them susceptible to the Black superwoman syndrome. If you’ve ever questioned...

In today’s episode Lakeisha Carter takes us on a journey of how she took steps to free herself from the Superwoman Syndrome, is now striving to live an uncaped life, and how therapy is playing an integral part in her healing. She admits that living an uncaped life is challenging because she was introduced to the Superwoman mentality in childhood and kinda felt like Superwoman was her destiny...

Sis!!! You DO NOT have to be your own best friend. In this episode Natty and Shirl are joined by Lana Hunter and Melissa J. Nixon who have developed a friendship that few have the privilege of enjoying. Lana and Melissa both believe that despite how friendships ebb and flow, lasting friendships are very much possible and they are living proof of it.  Today we chat it up about how they met, how lon...

    The results are in and her results reveal that she’s Olivia Pope. Tune in as Anyonita G. shares her thoughts on her results from the superwoman archetype quiz. The quiz uses four popular television characters (Olivia Pope, Cookie Lyon, Annalise Keating and Cookie Lyon) to not only help you identify which archetype is most dominant in you, but also to help you to identify when a...