Episodes Archives - Shades of Strong

Doing the most  (for the purpose of this episode) is when a Black woman does WAY more than required or gives WAY more (energy) than she has to give to people, places, or things. … either way she’s doing too much, and in today’s episode Shirl and Natty are saying, “ you don’t have to do that sis.”    But to be sure you’re NOT doing the most, you need others...

Nurture yourself isn’t the buzz word that “self-care” is, but it definitely should be because Black women doing life from a place of exhaustion and overwhelm has been the running theme since our ancestors were stolen from Mother Africa and if anyone deserves nurturing it’s Black women.  And before you come for us, yes we [Shirl and Natty] know that self-care and nurturing yourself ride in th...

Fuck being strong is the era of doing strong differently. Do you ever feel like you’re done with trying to live up to the expectations of errbody, sis? Like you’re tired of trying to be and do all the things for all the people all the time? Tired of trying to hold back the tears when your heart is breaking with each breath you take? Do you feel like for once in your life you just want to FLOAT wit...

Setting clear and healthy intentions is a powerful way to strategically align with the person you want to become. By now some of you undoubtedly have already set your intentions for the new year and are probably patting yourselves on the back for successfully making it through a few days, and you should because every step you take towards doing life differently deserves to be celebrated. But the r...

The rise of the Black Woman... I am she. She is me! And she is YOU sis!!!  This year brought about change for many of us. Some good, some not so good. But all of it was NECESSARY for us to start becoming the women we were born to be. When you’re born in the land of the free as a Black woman, you’re born into a world where freedom and opportunity are not equally and equitably distributed. But even...

Accepting yourself fully is the REAL glow up… The world got us out here believing that a glow up is some major transformation in our careers, our appearance, our finances, etc. – you know, all the tangible stuff, but contrary to what they have led us to believe, the real glow up is internal. But what does it really mean to accept yourself? What does it mean to embrace the totallity of who you are?...

Guarding your yes is as easy as reframing your no. We’ve all been there, right? Yes’ing all over the place because we don’t want to be seen as angry, difficult, or some other Black woman stereotype – saying yes to things we know we need to say no to, stretching ourselves beyond capacity because we don’t want to disappoint those who have come to depend on us, or not taking time to rejuvenate becaus...

Being still and embracing quiet moments gives me Easy Like Sunday Morning vibes. It’s liberating, you know? It’s not necessarily about not physically moving, it’s about creating a life with less stress , worry, and emotional overwhelm and Kimberly Sumpter is committed to mastering the art of it. In this episode, Kimberly gives me an inside look at what it took for her to finally...

Do Black women GET to be soft and strong? Do they have the capacity to be soft, feminine, strong and receptive?  There are so many layers to these questions, and Ivory Bennett stopped by to start peeling them all back.  Join us in today’s episode as she takes us on a journey of what it took for her to finally tap into being soft, feminine, and receptive. Ivory admits that arriving in this sp...

Contrary to popular belief, Black women are extremely vulnerable. Whether we embrace that vulnerbility with grace and ease is a whole other Story. In today’s epiosede Trezelle Morgain  takes us on her journey towards grace, vulnerability and ease . She admits getting to a place where she wasble to stand in the totality of who she is was no easy feat, but she was tired of being hyper-independ...

Mental Health, Resilience, and Postpartum Depression often get a bad rap in the Black female community . Mental health because it’s highly stigmatized, resilience because Black women are often celebrated for their bounce back game even when it’s to their own detriment, and postpartum depression because depression in and of itself is taboo – add postpartum in front of it and it becomes...

Life be lifing!!!!   How many times have you said that to yourself in a week, a month, a day?  Yeah, I said a day because “ depending on the kind of  life you’re living, life be happening (aka lifing) every 30 seconds for you. “ But, don’t worry sis, we got you!  My good friend, Chelsea Wallace came through to drop some knowledge on how we can ALL remain steady, present, an...

Sitting with uncomfortable emotions is undoubtedly one of the most challenging experiences you will encounter along life’s journey. It’s also one of the most needed to enjoy a life of wholeness and total surrender. I am joined in the virtual studio by one of the most unapologetic and authentic Black women I have met to date. Wendi Dixon is a beautiful soul who has experienced trauma in vario...

Magical things happen when Black women heal! PERIOD!!! Shirl and Natty are extending an invitation for you to be a part of a close knit sistahood built on love, friendship, support, and accountability.  A space where sistas lean on each other in times of trouble and unrest, and dance  with each other in times of celebration. Tap into the final episode of Uncaping, Unmasking, and Unhiding series fo...

Dear Black women, you don’t have to be over “IT” by now. Dear Black women, you don’t have to be in a sunken place. Dear Black women, You DERSERVE to be HEALED, EVOLVED, RESTORED. Tap in today’s episode as Shirl and Natty share some of their personal barriers to healing, how they veiw trauma and how they moved through the barriers AND the trauma, and are now on a journ...

Sis!!! It’s time go get off the hamster wheel of perfection.  It is endless cycle of exhaustion to the land of nowhere, and is serving absolutely no purpose in your life.  Tap in to this episode to get a few simple strategies on how to give yourself permission to not be perfect. And be sure to joi n us in the Shades of Strong Facebook Community to share your thoughts with us. The Facebook co...

If you feel like you’re constantly having to walk on eggshells around your mom – trying not to upset her, if you obsess over getting her approval or being accepted by her,  if she’s critical of everything you do and those things are causing you unrest, or if her absence (physically or emotionally) is/was very apparent and that’s causing you discontent, if the very thought of being in her presence...

In today’s episode of Uncaping, Unmasking, and Unhiding. Shirl and Natty take a look at some Mary Jane Paul’s unhealed trauma and how it contributes to the way she does life.  Mary Jane didn’t come out of the womb wanting to every area of  her life to be perfect — she didn’t come out of the womb want to save all the people. Perfectionism is actually rooted in emotiona...

How many times have you found yourself asking: Why do I keep attracting men that cheat? Men who don’t consistently choose me? Men who are emotionally unavailable? Men with no ambition? You got questions, Shirl and Natty got answers. Tap in to this episode to hear what they have to say about why Mary Jane Paul (and you) keep getting love bombed and often finds herself in unhealthy or dysfunct...

If perfectionism is the enemy of happiness, why are so many striving for it?!?  WHEW!!!  That’s a loaded question, right?  But the truth is none of us wants to be perfect because perfectionism is too heavy a burden to bear. What we really want is to be LOVED, ACCEPTED, and fully ALIGNED with who we were created to be.  In today’s episode, Shirl and Natty share pieces of their journey t...

Somewhere along life’s journey, Mary Jane Paul [like so many Black women] got the message that the needs of others should be prioritized over hers. She went from one unhealthy relationship to the next giving others the very things she was lacking in her life. In today’s episode, Shirl and Natty peel back more layers of Mary Jane Paul in an effort to determine what her kryptonite is.  J...

In today’s episode of the Uncaping, Unmasking, and Unhiding series Shirl and Natty welcome listeners to the first day of peeling back the layers of  Mary Jane Paul of the hit show Being Mary Jane. Being Mary Jane is a story of a single Black woman trying  to balance a busy career, a needy family, and an extremely complicated personal life all while living up to a misguided view of perfection...

Today is the final day of uncaping, unmasking, and unhiding Annalise Keating.  Shirl and Natty close it by offering a few strategies to overcome living a life of a manipulator and performer.  It’s so easy to UNKOWINGLY get caught up in this kind of behavior, but there a is so much freedom and just being you and not feeling the need to “trick” others into meeting your needs. Think...

In today’s episode of the Uncaping, Unmasking, and Unhiding series Shirl and Natty tackle the topic of what happens when you choose to live a life where you’re hiding your true self.  Shirl and Natty are both of the belief that hiding your true self is a form of self abuse and encourage listeners to STAND IN THEIR TRUTH and SHINE A LIGHT ON IT. …but before you can stand in your t...

The UNCAPING, UNMASKING, and UNHIDING with Shirl and Natty is getting real. In today’s episode as they start wrapping up peeling back the layers of Annalise Keating,  they take a deep dive into the murky world of the manipulator to address some of the consequences of engaging in manipulative behavior.  In this conversation Shirl and Natty get honest about being on the receiving end of a mani...