Enough Wicker: Intellectualizing the Golden Girls

In one of the whackiest of all-time episodes, Sophia's old friends Dominic and Philomena Bosco, aka Freida Claxton and Vincenzo the Contractor (actually aka Nan Martin and Vito Scotti) come to take Dorothy, their alleged biological daughter, back to Sicily for an arranged marriage. Meanwhile, Blanche and Rose are inspired by Lawrence of Arabia and decide to take up dirty dancing, with one of them...

In honor of Golden Con next week, we are rerunning our fan contribution episode. The Golden Girls is about community, so we hope you all have the best time, send us your photos--we'll double exposure ourselves right in!! We'll see you at the next one and we hope you'll contribute to our next Enough Wicker fan episode! TYFBAF!  Hello and Happy New Year! This episode is made up of your scholarl...

Oh boy, a whole episode about body negativity and dieting, wahoo! We kid, we kid. But in this one, the Girls are all dealing with their weight and appearance; Sophia is hellbent on gaining a pound to get back to her ideal weight while the rest of the crew tries working out and new hairstyling in order to look their best for an annual summer party. A classic clip show where, even in their desperati...

In this one, Sophia busts her friend Lilian out of Sunny Pastures, a rundown nursing home struggling in the age of Reagan-era cuts. Meanwhile, Blanche gets a bonus and initially plans to put the money in her bosom account, but in the end, decides her found money would be better spent in another way. 

She's mopey, dopey, and full of crap, Rose's sister. In this one, Holly, Rose's flute-playing, philandering, annoying AF little sister comes to Miami and charms Blanche and Dorothy right away. Sophia sees through it a bit and councils Rose to let them see it for themselves, and boy do they ever. Meanwhile, Sophia agrees to dogsit two Dreyfuses. 

In a heavier A-story that is all too timely, Rose confronts an addiction to pills. She reveals her doctor prescribed painkillers for an old farm injury decades ago, and she's been taking them daily ever since. The Girls rally together to help her address the problem and thankfully, come out of a 30-day treatment program as the same ol' Rose. Meanwhile, Sophia and Dorothy are cast in a commercial f...

And she's a teacher too!  Dorothy's high school best friend Trudy McMahon comes to Miami for their high school reunion and brings along her handsome husband Jack, a pair of new A+ breasts, and a drive for competition. Dorothy literally kills Trudy on the tennis court, or so we think, and then wants to spend the entire evening of her reunion screwing around in the bedroom when there are import...

Rose makes the mistake of trusting Sophia with a large sum of money the Girls intend to use for a joint CD account, and rather than buying a handful of magic beans or completing the task, Sophia brings home a prizefighter. Apparently, some kind of transaction goes down at a bus stop, and bim bam boom, the Girls are now responsible for training and housing this young fighter who, as is later reveal...

Dorothy is in charge of finding talent for an upcoming variety show and recruits Rose, Blanche, and Sophia to help. The Donatello Triplets prove to be worthy headliners, even if the one juggling Sklarkievich Brother leaves a bit to be desired, but the major gap to fill is that they need an MC. Rose, leaning heavily on a parasocial relationship she built with Bob Hope, tells the girls not to sweat...

Chalk it all up to synergism. In this one, Dorothy and Sophia are shaken up by the rate at which Sophia's friends are dying. Dorothy's response is to book a suite at Disney World and look at old photos, rather than ride the rides (or, thankfully, to have Sophia seized by Shady Pines staff on the tarmac). Sophia, meanwhile, wants to leave Memory Lane for Space Mountain. At home, Blanche, who appare...

In your classic clip Golden Girls clip show, we've got Sal being a total bagagalupe and Sophia's dad letting him know it, Blanche meeting another gay man in Clayton's favorite bar, the girls going to a nudist resort, and Blanche bringing sexual liberation and responsibility to a Greater Miami pharmacy. What a load of fun! Happy Valentine's Day to each and every one of our listeners and remember, y...

In this one, Dorothy engages in the age-old practice of #sportnookie with Eddie, whose apparent sexual prowess is hidden beneath an unassuming exterior. Meanwhile, Blanche and Rose decide to mentor two teenage punks and end up in the slammer. 

Sophia is called upon to perform a Sicilian act of vengeance while Rose deals with sexual frustration, just another day in the Golden Girls' house. In this one, Rose is seeing a man named Ernie, a corporate attorney who does not have a drinking problem, and everything is going well until he reveals that he is impotent (bon appetit). After a romantic getaway fails, a steamy exchange over dinner fin...

In this episode, Blanche meets a charming, handsome man who knows the ins and outs of high society food pairings. It should be perfect, but John is blind, and so Blanche, who derives most of her self-worth from her looks, is left wondering what he could possibly like about her. Meanwhile, Rose and Dorothy (and eventually Sophia) coach a peewee football team where all the boys are named Victor.&nbs...

Is that an original DeKimmel!? In this one, the roof is leaking and rather than shell out the dough like any normal landlord, Blanche is focused on preserving a towel that never contained baby Skippy. While trying to come up with the cash for a new roof, the girls hear that Jasper DeKimmel, a cranky-but-talented artist is nearing the end of his life, so naturally, they divert their funds and buy o...

We open this episode by paying tribute to our dearly departed Betty White, who entertained millions with her command of comedy and inspired just as many with her commitment to kindness. Thank you for being a friend, Betty <3.  Moving onto the Stickman, Stan goes to his only friends, three women who kind of hate him, to help pick out a ring for his new bride at the start of this episode. Me...

What the hell is this, The Waltons?! In the first Christmas episode of the series, the girls do quite a lot. Blanche tries to bong a mall Santa and gets caught, Rose offers counseling to her clients right in front of the waiting room, a would-be armed robber takes Dorothy, Blanche, and Rose hostage until Sophia saves the day, and after their flights are grounded, our favorite ladies spend Christma...

We revisit Brother, Can You Spare that Jacket, in which each of the girls has their own personal reckoning with the state of things in America. After a brief bit of riding high on a winning lotto ticket, Dorothy, Blanche, Sophia, and Rose trounce all over Miami to find the ticket after it is mistakenly given away. There's a celebrity auction, a do-nothing councilman, and a mixup of Michael J. Fox...

Sophia's getting married, Rose and Blanche are establishing a Miami-based chapter of the Hunka Hunka Burnin Love Fanclub, Dorothy is smoking, and somehow the caterer is still the star! We talk about Sophia's Wedding Parts 1 & 2, which for us, represents a very specific era in The Golden Girls. This one has a ton of funny moments and reveals something deep about the addictive Petrillo genes. We...

Dorothy is battling Stan for Sophia's soul and Blanche & Rose are up all night howlin. In the nosebleed seats of a baseball game, Sophia gets whacked on the head with a ball. Stan comes up with a way for the two of them to join forces and scam some money out of the insurance company, though we think it's a few days too late to be believable. Meanwhile, Rose and Blanche are cast in Cats in the...

Rose is up for St. Olaf's Woman of the Year! OOOFDAH! There's only one problem, Blanche and Dorothy are back to their Issac Q. Newton/rez-ume ways and they've stretched the truth a bit on her application. Mighty flood, etc. Meanwhile, the AC is out and the girls struggle to keep cool. All in all, this one is incredibly goofy, there's a bunch of funny lines, and it's a pretty revealing picture of R...

Rose and Dorothy assume the roles of Mulder and Scully after seeing what appears to be a UFO. Meanwhile, Blanche attempts a conquest for Ham Lushbough, the one man--the one--who has ever rejected her advances. The UFO story is A++, especially considering Dorothy's natural skepticism and Rose's naive assumption that the extraterrestrials are here to help us earthlings. The Ham story is a little tou...

The three younger girls sit around the kitchen table lamenting that Sophia is letting the last of her life slip away. Rose's puritanical work ethic, Blanche's overactive sex drive and Dorothy's grounding nature all abound as the rain comes down outside. Meanwhile, Sophia--ironically the only one to leave the house, has a full adventure of a day complete with grocery store advocacy, hospital volunt...

Season 4 starts with a bang! Fidel Santiago, a snappy dressing cigar heir and all-around charmer dates both Blanche and Sophia. His long teeth raise questions, particularly around his relationship with Blanche, but his life and death serve to prove that age is just a number. Meanwhile, we learn that Rose started a mono outbreak in St. Olaf that may have actually contributed to the Allied victory i...

We've made it to the end of the third season! In this vignette/flashback Mother's Day episode, we see Dorothy play her own grandmother, Rose lie to the police for a friend, Stan's mom acknowledge his yutzdom, and learn Blanche's true age! It's touching, funny, and we have a lot to say about it--the perfect way to close out the season.