Enough, the Podcast

Black. Gay. Christian. Shermain Melton spent much of his life hiding his sexual orientation and not feeling good enough. In this powerful 26-minute episode, you'll learn how Shermain spent years trying to push down his truth so that he'd fit in. One day he returned home to find his room upside down, bed flipped, drawers turned out, and he knew his truth was out. Shermain faced his biggest fear (tu...

Why is it so hard to put yourself out there? – especially if you're prone to feelings of imposter syndrome and perfectionism. Before I share some tips and tricks from today's expert, let's go deeper on what might be influencing your feelings around visibility. What social, cultural, and familial aspects might be at play? This bit was a game-changer for me. You too, I hope! Then I invite Darrah Bru...

To celebrate my 50 th episode, we're having a quick but deep-n-real conversation about how some of the changes in middle life might be stirring up feelings of not-enoughness. If your self-identity is based on your appearance, your heroic work ethic, and success after dazzling success at the office, what happens when those pillars start shifting? I share why Jennifer Lopez inspired this episode, an...

Today's guest is Darrah Brustein, a coach and business strategist who has interviewed the likes of Seth Godin, Bobbi Brown, Adam Grant, Jen Sincero, and Shaquille O'Neal. She's also one of my coaches!   We do the conversational equivalent of the Christmas Cracker, a festive custom in Britain, dating back to Victorian times. A modern-day cracker usually contains a ridiculous paper hat, a corny joke...

You dream of reconnecting with the things you once loved. Erm, what were those things again? For years, it's been all about work, and managing an array of things and other people. You've all but disappeared. You're busy and getting busier. Something's got to give, and you're afraid it might be you.   That's what happened to today's guest, Paden Hughes. She was a CEO navigating the pandemic, with t...

You're an overachiever. Maybe you're often referred to as a badass. Everyone's in awe of how much you get done, and how in control of life you seem to be – and admittedly, that admiration feels good. In fact, you live for it. What almost nobody knows is that you're fizzling with anxiety, up at night ruminating on things, quick to anger, and you struggle to relax. We're discussing High Functioning...

This is an experiment! I'm bringing together some key moments from a selection of episodes in the show. These clips were chosen based on listener feedback or moments that made me think, wow, that was something special. I'll guide you through some heart-opening stories and wisdom drops that'll hopefully make this a feel-good episode, and a self-compassion refresher. You'll get the gist of episodes...

You're setting more boundaries. You're using your voice more than ever before. Something's rising inside of you. But setting boundaries and standing in your power challenges existing dynamics – meaning not everyone's going to be delighted by your new-found voice. How do we build that inner robustness as we start speaking more of our truth? — especially with the inevitable criticism, conflict and o...

If you've ever been told something unkind, and it still replays in your head years later, this episode is for you.     Maybe you internalized someone's rude comment about your nose being too big, and ever since that, it's something you secretly fixate on.   Or maybe someone did something to you, and you've carried that painful experience because you didn't know how to stand up for yourself.     So...

Are you scared of being "ordinary"? — as if that relegates you to the dull, low-achieving, not-living-life-to-the full bucket. Or maybe you're afraid of failing, so you only do things you're already good at. You'd love to take more risks, but only if you don't look bad. Or maybe you're scared of really shining bright, because that would mean you're a bit full of yourself. So, you dim your light an...

You're someone who holds yourself to ridiculously high standards, and there's a weird sort of pride in that. You're known for going the extra mile. It's helped to make you successful. What happens when the ideals that you hold yourself to become unsustainable? How do you reconcile the very human feelings that you're experiencing with the image of who you think you have to be? Today's guest is auth...

Do you ever notice that you're completely clenched up? As in, your neck has gone missing. Your jaw is a vice grip. What IS it about the neck and jaw area? And I'm curious if this part of the body might be particularly "clenchy" for people with tendencies towards perfectionism and people pleasing. Is this area a proverbial lint trap for all the things we don't say, for fear of confrontation or bein...

Today's episode is a practical, fast-paced conversation about how to raise daughters who know how to be with their emotions. Maybe you were discouraged as a child from being angry, and were told things like, "Calm down" or "that's not very lady-like" or "good girls don't behave like that." My hope is that with more awareness, we can help to raise a generation of girls who self-advocate and speak u...

You work for a challenging boss, and you're struggling. You've tried working harder. You've tried working smarter. But you're still feeling undermined, angry, and your self-belief is taking a nose-dive. As someone who "gets things right", you just can't figure this situation out – and secretly, it's unravelling you.   Enter Dr Laura Crawshaw. She's been researching and coaching abrasive leaders fo...

Let's get real about your relationship with work. You're praised for your stellar work ethic and revered for your awe-inspiring wins. But there's a dark side to achieving that no one talks about. This episode probes that space. My guest is Dr Mark Goulston, a former professor of psychiatry at UCLA for 25 years, who also trained FBI and police in hostage negotiation. He's written nine books and has...

It's hard to be playful when you feel the need to get things right. And yet, deep down, you'd love to lighten up. But it's not that simple, is it? What if you try telling a joke, or striking up a social conversation, and it pancakes? The fear of looking stupid is kryptonite to levity. Fear not! I've called in the magical unicorns of playfulness (AND they're both highly accomplished in serious thin...

Welcome to the SCAM SHOW, a special edition of Enough, the podcast. In this solo episode, I'm talking about the scams that are shrinking down your joy, self-worth, and sense of possibility till your life is so teeny weeny that it fits inside of a match box. What are scams, you ask? They're the beliefs that you've internalized over the years, that feel like the TRUTH – but they're anything but. The...

Have you ever pushed down parts of yourself to fit in? I'm guessing we all have. What if you're a person of colour? How does that complexify the story? Today's guest is executive coach Kanchan Prinsloo. You'll hear how Kanchan learned to fit in, because true belonging didn't feel accessible to her – neither in society, nor in her own family. Kanchan learned to "perform" vulnerability, connection a...

This episode is for anyone who manages their image during intimate moments. Maybe you aren't fully in your body. Or you're more concerned about being good enough (sexy enough, skilled enough…) than you are about dropping into true (often messy and unpredictable) intimacy.     The "I must perform and be good at everything I do" includes sex and intimacy for overachievers and perfectionists.   Today...

Can clothes and accessories help us to get to know ourselves better? Can style be an experimental tool for how we create and embody our sense of self in this season of our lives?   Today's guest, international stylist Anita Feron Clark, didn't grow up feeling good enough. She was mercilessly bullied at school and criticized at home for being "too dark and too round." In her late 20s, she said "ENO...

You push yourself too hard, too regularly, for too long. You're use harsh inner self-talk to motivate yourself because, hey, it works and feels familiar.   You're incredibly successful, but you're tired. Like bone tired. You secretly wonder how long this can go on…But you don't think about it much, because day after day, you're sucked into the vortex of your diary.   Today's highly practical episo...

How does a confident, highly experienced senior executive end up in a hotel room, laying in the bathtub all night, fully clothed, having dragged the desk behind the door because she's sure someone's coming to hurt or kill her? This episode is about what it's like working for a boss who's a bully — and the effects that can have on our self-esteem, feelings of enoughness, and on our mental and physi...

Trigger Warning: This episode makes reference to severe childhood trauma   Perfectionism is a typical addiction pattern, says today's guest, Dr Shoshana Garfield. The pattern goes like this: If I can just do or get (fill in the blank with your chosen item or accomplishment), THEN I'll be happy. Or at least less unhappy. The tragedy is that the fix, once achieved, never truly satisfies. It's a movi...

Do you have the next-ies? Erm, the what? Say you've just aced a work project, and instead of pausing and reflecting how well you did, you're already onto the next thing. Or you've just published a book. And you're already outlining the next book, feeling flat that this one wasn't an overnight New York Times best-seller. THIS one will be, for sure. The inability to feel that anything you've achieve...

If you have excessively high expectations of yourself, and you're struggling to practice self-compassion (or slow down), this episode is for YOU. Today's guest is Suzy Reading, psychologist, self-care advocate and author. I asked Suzy to create a tool kit for anyone who's languishing right now, feeling depleted   –though still trudging forward. Must. Keep. Going.   She shares some exceedingly do-a...