Employing Differences

"Let's not confuse motion with progress. If we haven't actually figured out what direction we're trying to go in, then we don't actually know whether or not the things that we're doing are moving us in that direction." Listen on the website and read the transcript Watch this episode on YouTube

"Trust is what's required when we don't know it will work." Listen on the website and read the transcript Watch this episode on YouTube

"Where you start is where you have enough anxiety to know that you have something you'd like to be different, you're willing to do some skill-building, and you have enough safety that you can tolerate moving through the anxiety and making the changes." Listen on the website and read the transcript Watch this episode on YouTube

"Being able to set aside biases and assumptions, and get really conscious of the simple job of holding space and offering structure to help the group make decisions is so important and so easy to slip." Listen on the website and read the transcript Watch this episode on YouTube

"It's a leap of faith, but if I'm somebody who's been in this organization for a while and new people are coming in, I can't wait for them to earn my trust. I have to be vulnerable and extend trust to them in order to help both them and myself through this period of chaos." Listen on the website and read the transcript Watch this episode on YouTube

"When we come together to do things collectively, it's not smooth. There are friction points. There are difficulties. And in fact, that's a feature, not a bug." Listen on the website and read the transcript Watch this episode on YouTube

"If you're not acting on the things that people are worried about, and you're not gonna act on things that people are worried about, why are you doing a survey?" Listen on the website and read the transcript Watch this episode on YouTube

"Are people actually inquiring about other people's needs? Are they speaking about their own? And are they doing that in a way where it seems like they're not threatened by one or the other?" Listen on the website and read the transcript Watch this episode on YouTube

"Absolute clarity in documents is just not a human reality. Our brains are so good at interpreting language to mean what we would like it to mean, or what it would be convenient for us to mean, or what we're afraid that it means." Listen on the website and read the transcript Watch this episode on YouTube

"What are the things that we unconsciously end up importing into groups, into teams, into organizations, and what might we do about that if we don't want them there?" Listen on the website and read the transcript Watch this episode on YouTube

"What are your sources of support? How are you managing your nervous system? How are you managing your anxiety around bringing this change?" Listen on the website and read the transcript Watch this episode on YouTube

"You want to prepare for urgent situations by doing trust building and relationship building beforehand so that you can leverage it. Because if you don't have it in that moment, you're going to need to do more cleanup afterward." Listen on the website and read the transcript Watch this episode on YouTube

"While the calendar or the clock can be useful prompts and cues, we need to be aware of how the work that we're doing – that we're going to be reflecting on – does or doesn't align with that cadence." Listen on the website and read the transcript Watch this episode on YouTube

"You can lead from whatever chair you're in. The scope of what you can do from that chair differs, the options you have available to you differ, but it is possible for you to contribute regardless of whether or not you have any formal authority." Listen on the website and read the transcript Watch this episode on YouTube

"Is that a thing that actually works for me? Is that a thing that will actually work for the team? Is that a thing that will actually have the effect that we're hoping for?" Listen on the website and read the transcript Watch this episode on YouTube

"What's useful when you're building a new skill – when you're trying to do something different – is to let people know that you're trying to do it differently and ask them for feedback on how you're doing." Listen on the website and read the transcript Watch this episode on YouTube

"If we've gotten all of the heavy emotional stuff on the table, then we probably have enough. And if we haven't, and we're being conflict avoidant, we're probably borrowing trouble if we move ahead without getting through it." Listen on the website and read the transcript Watch this episode on YouTube

"We have to manage ourselves as facilitators. We're not just paying attention to what's going on in the group, about where they are going – but also noticing what's going on in us as we're working with them." Listen on the website and read the transcript Watch this episode on YouTube

"If there's a sense that we trust each other and that we know that our input will be considered, then my need to say, 'I want to make sure I get to approve that before it happens,' goes away." Listen on the website and read the transcript Watch this episode on YouTube

"If something's not happening, but we know it's our job to do it, it can be super hard to ask for help. And if we see a thing that's not happening, and we know it's somebody else's job, it can be super hard to offer help." Listen on the website and read the transcript Watch this episode on YouTube

"Where are we relationally? Where are we in the arc of this process? And is the thing that I'm wanting to suggest or the thing that someone else is suggesting appropriate for that phase for where we are right now?" Listen on the website and read the transcript Watch this episode on YouTube

"We don't always think of challenging work as learning space. We're like, 'Oh, that's just a hard project.' Well, it's hard because we don't know how to do it yet. If we were good at it, and didn't have anything to learn from it, it wouldn't be hard." Listen on the website and read the transcript Watch this episode on YouTube

"This is the world I am in. Who do I want to be now? How do I want to engage? What impact do I want to have, given the situation that I'm now aware exists?" Listen on the website and read the transcript Watch this episode on YouTube

"Chemistry is the implicit creation of expectations and understandings about how we're going to work together. And you can do it cheaper and faster by doing it explicitly." Listen on the website and read the transcript Watch this episode on YouTube

"Moving through conflict is a process of growth and healing and self-discovery that is powerful in a way that nothing else that I know of is. It is a rich, rich space of personal growth that, frankly, nobody raises their hand and volunteers for but all of us actually need." Listen on the website and read the transcript Watch this episode on YouTube