Employing Differences

"If what you want is buy-in, or if you're trying to get consensus on a thing, shortening the amount of time does not magically make it fit in that time box. " Listen on the website and read the transcript Watch this episode on YouTube

"Contracting is about doing things that – in the simplest possible ways –  help us to get on the same page about what it is that we're trying to accomplish together." Listen on the website and read the transcript Watch this episode on YouTube

"How can we build resilience in the group so that when this behavior happens, it doesn't have the same level of destructive impact on the group? And how can each of us contribute to that resilience?" Listen on the website and read the transcript Watch this episode on YouTube

"How do we know if we've got ghosts and what those ghosts are?" Listen on the website and read the transcript Watch this episode on YouTube

"The more that I have a tendency to just give advice, the less likely I am to be good at discerning whether it's what somebody else needs." Listen on the website and read the transcript Watch this episode on YouTube

"We need to do the emotional preparation – as well as the cognitive planning – in order to really be ready for something." Listen on the website and read the transcript Watch this episode on YouTube

"Not having a point of view and not having an opinion is not something human beings are very good at." Listen on the website and read the transcript Watch this episode on YouTube

"Having systems that don't require us to always be operating at our best is important. As a friend of mine likes to say, there's a reason why it's called 'your best.' It's not your average, and it's not your worst." Listen on the website and read the transcript Watch this episode on YouTube

"The more that everybody is specialized, the less it feels like a team – the less we can help each other, the less we have support for each other, the less we feel engaged in a sense of belonging with each other." Listen on the website and read the transcript Watch this episode on YouTube

"In this particular situation, how can I see that these assumptions have me? It's not that I have them. They've got me." Listen on the website and read the transcript Watch this episode on YouTube

"We will have some people who are really good cognitively and some people who are really attuned emotionally, and they can miss each other. Instead of getting the benefit of both, we get this competition between them." Listen on the website and read the transcript Watch this episode on YouTube

"Discomfort is telling us there's a thing we need to learn more about. We may not want to run headlong into it. But we should at least understand what it is that we're dealing with, so that we can choose an appropriate course of action." Listen on the website and read the transcript Watch this episode on YouTube

"We're not perfect, we're not going to be perfect, and we shouldn't plan on being perfect." Listen on the website and read the transcript Watch this episode on YouTube

"When things that we didn't want to have happen did happen, how can we respond more usefully than just pointing fingers?" Listen on the website and read the transcript Watch this episode on YouTube

"The more we have the habit of checking in with our intentions, bringing them consciously to mind, and then seeing how our actions align helps us to navigate those external things that come up, that try to drag us away, and get in the way of being intentional." Listen on the website and read the transcript Watch this episode on YouTube

"If I'm having trouble being curious, I should get really interested in why. Why am I so attached that I can't be curious about what these other people that I'm working with are wanting and needing and showing up with?" Listen on the website and read the transcript Watch this episode on YouTube

"Sometimes that means that you're going into a big hairy mess, or lots of decisions, or a lot that's going on in one meeting, and the last thing you want to do is add to the agenda. But in fact, you have to. If you want all that decision-making to go smoothly, you have to start with, 'How are we making this decision?'" Listen on the website and read the transcript Wat...

"If you are trying to help a change happen, be vulnerable, ask for help. But also, if you can be genuinely curious about what other people would find useful, that helps the group move forward as well." Listen on the website and read the transcript Watch this episode on YouTube

"What shifts power dynamics is not seeing ourselves as disconnected from the other people involved in this. This is something that lives in this space between. And so we have to be on an ongoing basis collaborating and supporting each other, in order to change the nature of that space between." Listen on the website and read the transcript Watch this episode on YouTube

"If this is how power is currently distributed, how well is that helping us to achieve our aims and our purposes? Is it arranged in a way that is useful for us? Or is it arranged in a way that is actually hindering us?" Listen on the website and read the transcript Watch this episode on YouTube

"If you have a difference of opinion about whether there's a power gradient and you think there isn't one, it's very predictable that you are the person who has the most power." Listen on the website and read the transcript Watch this episode on YouTube

"If you can't go in with a truly invitational unattached offer, you might very well be going too deep for the group." Listen on the website and read the transcript Watch this episode on YouTube

"As humans, we're not necessarily good at providing useful levels of context for people. It's very easy to fall into the "too much," very easy to fall into the "too little," and often very easy to fall into the "not at the right time" traps." Listen on the website and read the transcript Watch this episode on YouTube

"How do I speak up and say that's not going to work for me before I get into that place of resentment?" Listen on the website and read the transcript Watch this episode on YouTube

"If we want to create space for learning, we need to actually believe that change and improvement is possible. And then we actually need to act as though that is true." Listen on the website and read the transcript Watch this episode on YouTube