Employing Differences

"As trust evolves in a group, it's important that you also evolve – and acknowledge that you're evolving – how you make decisions." Listen on the website and read the transcript Watch this episode on YouTube

"There is a cultural belief at the root of this that says, 'Investing in our people and helping them grow and learn is the way that we succeed collectively.' If we don't believe in that, we will unconsciously do all kinds of things that stop people from growing." Listen on the website and read the transcript Watch this episode on YouTube

"Often decisions about hiring consultants get budget consideration. 'Do we have the money for it?' But actually, the bigger question is, 'Do we have the time?'" Listen on the website and read the transcript Watch this episode on YouTube

"The better job I've done identifying my actual need, the more likely it is that my request can be met because the actual need can almost always be met in a number of different ways." Listen on the website and read the transcript Watch this episode on YouTube

"I almost want to stop calling them working agreements, and start calling them shared intentions." Listen on the website and read the transcript Watch this episode on YouTube

"Where are our patterns and our habits contributing to the result we don't want?" Listen on the website and read the transcript Watch this episode on YouTube

"When I can be clear about why I'm talking, it helps me get to the point. But also when I can make it clear to other people why I'm talking, they can know how to engage with that." Listen on the website and read the transcript Watch this episode on YouTube

"I can't guarantee that their behavior will change if I do set a boundary. I can't guarantee that I'm actually going to be good at setting that boundary, because I haven't been practicing that. But what I can guarantee is, if I don't, I'm going to continue to get the same result that I'm getting." Listen on the website and read the transcript Watch this...

"The goal is not to get alignment. The goal is to become aware of range, in a really respectful space where we say 'If it's important to you, it's important to us. If it matters to you, it has space in this space.'" Listen on the website and read the transcript Watch this episode on YouTube

"We actually approach problems differently, both individually and collectively, when we slow down and are able to be deliberative about it." Listen on the website and read the transcript Watch this episode on YouTube

"If you're using a rule to avoid vulnerability, then you're using a rule in a way that gets in the way of relationship." Listen on the website and read the transcript Watch this episode on YouTube

"How do we help people understand the value that other folks – on teams, in groups, that they're working with – bring?" Listen on the website and read the transcript Watch this episode on YouTube

"Really good feedback arrives as complaints fairly often – and how we receive it is what makes the difference." Listen on the website and read the transcript Watch this episode on YouTube

"In a setting where money is being exchanged, where work is being done, we've been trained – we've been enculturated – to believe that we're supposed to only interact in these formal ways." Listen on the website and read the transcript Watch this episode on YouTube

"That energy that I may need to spend in order to appear professional when I'm working with a client is energy that I can't be spending actually helping them with their problem. Regardless of whether or not that image that I'm trying to create is useful or appropriate, I'm spending the energy on that, which means I can't allocate it to something else." Listen on...

"I think we've all had the experience of working in a group on something where at least one member of the group is ready to move on. We're going, 'Yep, this is good enough. We're ready to go. We can move on to something else.' And at least one other member of the group says, 'No, we can't move on yet. We still need to work on this stuff. There's more th...

"If we're trying to change something, what do we need to be prepared for coming along with that change?" Listen on the website and read the transcript Watch this episode on YouTube

"Work happens inside a container of relationships. The relationship is a resource that we can draw on when we're doing the work. It becomes an asset for us. It allows us to do harder and harder work when we're working together. And so, when that is strong, when it's working well, when it is an asset we can draw on, we don't need to spend as much time or as much focus maint...

"I think it's important to be able to show up as your whole self, and then to make conscious and informed choices about what it is useful and productive to disclose about that. Because when we first come to understand what is in the room for us, and then are able to name what's relevant for other people to know about what's in the room, then I think we can make much more effect...

"The challenge that many of us who are helpful by nature run into is that oftentimes we start doing things when we notice that there's a problem and we want to help. And we don't recognize that by doing that, we are contributing to the continuation of the problem. You're talking about workarounds in systems. And every time you do something like that, every time you hide the fac...

"There are all sorts of things that we do, there are all sorts of things that we know, there are all sorts of things that are sort of wrapped up around us, that cause us to lose sight of how we are actually showing up in the world, what the actual impact of our actions are. And it can be really problematic, particularly when you're in an organization, and you have any sort of structural...

"This is the delegation game, right? Where you say, 'Yeah, okay, committee, go do that thing.' Sometimes it's a pretty straightforward thing. 'Hey, go sign up for a bank account.' Okay, that's probably going to go pretty well because there's not a lot to that. But 'Hey, dive into these documents and rewrite them...' Well, there was a reason they ne...

"I think that change goes more effectively when we give more people opportunities to provide input around exactly how the change will happen. And that's something that I think organizations struggle with sometimes where they go, 'Well, this change is just going to happen regardless.'  And it's like, "Well, the fundamental thing might be happening..." For example,...

"Because although we'd love you all to be able to think ahead and do this well the first time, in fact, it is a thing we mostly learn by stubbing our toes and bloodying our noses. So when you're in that, 'How did we decide?' that kind of place is a really good time to think about: Do we know our decision making processes? Do we think about our options? Do we have choices t...

"I think that can be discouraging, particularly when I see groups that say, 'Okay, we want to be collaborative.' So we adopt Agile, we adopt Sociocracy, we adopt a thing, and we really study it, and we learn it and it is better. Like clearly we are and it is better. But we're not getting what the pamphlet said. We're not getting what we thought we were gonna get. We don&ap...