Downsizing

Once my legs heal I'm going to be dunking on guys twice my height. Outro Song: Tow Truck Driver - Marty Ray Project Podcast art by Joey Rizk

Congratulations Mackenzie and Kyle! Outro Song: Lovely Day - Bill Withers Podcast art by Joey Rizk

Gonna gain 30 pounds from pilk and cookies. Outro Song: The Wicker Man - Iron Maiden Podcast art by Joey Rizk

You only look like an idiot if you get a sunburn on your face. Outro Song: Blister in the Sun - Violent Femmes Podcast art by Joey Rizk

Also I haven't been sunburned yet, which has to count for something Outro Song: Florida - Modest Mouse Podcast art by Joey Rizk

Straight up I am pooped and bushwhacked. Outro Song: Tired of Waking Up Tired - The Diodes Podcast art by Joey Rizk

I'm about to look vagrant pilled Outro Song: Hostage - Chelsea Grin Podcast art by Joey Rizk

There's an argument to be made I shouldn't be allowed to leave the house. Outro Song: Sweet Baby Ray's Remix - Gravity Sound Podcast art by Joey Rizk

Maybe I'll finally get a bike. Outro Song: Old Car - Whatever We Are Podcast art by Joey Rizk

If I lost power I would have just posted the transcript of this episode in the newspaper. Outro Song: POWER - B.A.P. Podcast art by Joey Rizk

I'm about to start making Arthur Morgan thirst trap Tik Toks. Outro song: Big Iron - Marty Robbins Podcast art by Joey Rizk

The podcast gods heard my cries and made it so easy to upload this episode. Now pay me $100,000,000 pls+ty Outro song: Capybara - Sto-Lichnyj Ona-Nas Podcast art by Joey Rizk

Almost lost my mind trying to upload this episode, seconds away from cancelling the whole goddamn podcastOutro song: Cat Scratch Fever - Ted NugentPodcast art by Joey Rizk

My cat went on to try to eat more poison.... Dumb like his daddy Outro Song: Take Me Out To The Ball Game - Frank Sinatra & Gene Kelly Podcast art by Joey Rizk

Here it is Justin sorry for the delay Outro Song: Samurai Jack Theme - Will.i.am (I'm as surprised as you) Podcast art by Joey Rizk

Just in case anyone is confused my apology couldn't have been more sarcastic lol Outro Song: Future Days - Pearl Jam Podcast art by Joey Rizk

Oh yeah Happy Valentines Day also. Probably don't listen to this the day it comes out, it's probably not the best thing to get you into the mood.... Unless it is, in which case, well, maybe make note for your therapist. Outro Song: St. Valentine - Naomi John Podcast art by Joey Rizk

Lol omg just got an ad for the last of us show so spooky they heard me lol Outro Song: I Will Survive - Gloria Gaynor Podcast art by Joey Rizk

Got some "hot" takes up front if you know what I'm saying hahahahaha Outro song: 99 Red Balloons - Goldfinger Podcast art by Joey Rixk

My horoscope says I'm going to get so ripped they're going to start calling me paper. Outro song: Your Horoscope For Today -"Weird Al" Yankovic Podcast art by Joey Rizk

Seriously Ninja hmu Outro Song: Help The Aged - Pulp Podcast art by Joey Rizk

I think if I could do a muscle up at my current weight I'd be a contender for strongest man alive. Outro Song: Too Fat To Fly - Roger Alan Wade Podcast art by Joey Rizk

New year same me my brothers and sisters. Outro Song: Happy - Pharrell Podcast art by Joey Rizk

Merry Christmas ya filthy animals Outro Song: Christmas Wrapping - Glee Podcast art by Joey Rizk

I'm just saying, some of this silly goosery might actually work. Outro Song: DOUBLE DUTCH - Charmaine Podcast art by Joey Rizk