Downsizing

I watch one episode of Better Call Saul and all of the sudden I'm an expert on scams. Outro song: The Farmers' Market Song - Bullseye the Band Podcast art by Joey Rizk

What happened to Veta Scotia? Outro song: Barrett's Privateers - Stan Rogers Podcast art by Joey Rizk

I'm going to get myself banned from the Maritimes. Outro Song: Vacation - The Go-Go's Podcast Art by Joey Rizk

Really just going full basement troll on this one. Outro Song: Resonance - T.M. Revolution Podcast art by Joey Rizk

Think I might get myself sent to prison for the gym culture. Outro Song: Glasses On - Collin Richardson Podcast art by Joey Rizk

Bro who knew sleep made you feel good? Outro Song: Mr. Sandman - The Chordettes Podcast art by Joey Rizk

I legit spilled so much and I'm just going to go to bed and not clean it up because I am an adult, which means I have the freedom to behave like a child. Outro Song: Limoncello - Skratch Bastid Podcast art by Joey Rizk

All this math makes me crave a nice heaping helping of Soylent Green. Outro Song: Hakuna Matata - The Lion King Podcast art by Joey Rizk

So funny to say you're too fat for squats and deadlifts when powerlifters exist. Outro Song: Oh...Canada - Classified Podcast art by Joey Rizk

I'm going to become The Avalanches of podcasting and just make an entire episode entirely out of samples of other podcasts. Outro Song: Wedding March - BobMusic Podcast art by Joey Rizk

No seriously, I put the whole song at the end, listen to the lyrics.  My man made an incel anthem. Is there a statute of limitations on being an extra-large creep-eroni pizza? Outro Song: Invisible - Clay Aiken Podcast Art by Joey Rizk

You can't demonetize a free podcast, suckers. Outro Song: NARUTO DUBSTEP REMIX! - PUNYASO Tunes Podcast art by Joey Rizk

Nice Outro Song: Limb From Limb - Protest the Hero Podcast art by Joey Rizk

It takes every ounce of will I have to not just constantly imitate that one guy's snore.  If you know you know.  By which I mean you know it's the funniest thing in the world. Outro Song: I'm Blue - Eiffel 65 Podcast art by Joey Rizk

Finished the episode early but fell asleep on the couch, so now I'm posting at 2:30 am.  Balanced, as all things should be. Outro Song: Il est des notres - Michel Durand et son orchestre Podcast art by Joey Rizk

My new goal body is Ichigo Kurosaki.  Or maybe that Lieutenant guy that's always eating chips... Outro Song: Infected - Bad Religion Podcast art by Joey Rizk

I'm going to get a binaural microphone so you can really feel like I'm sucking the energy out of you at a party. Outro Song: My Kitchen - Gucci Mane Podcast art by Joey Rizk

I'm having a hard time moving these days, I guess it's all the ice in my veins. Outro song: I said it in the episode you silly goose Podcast art by Joey Rizk

Don't worry, I made sure to go after both people who could beat me up in person, and also people that could steal my identity online.   Outro song: Nightmare - Avenged Sevenfold Podcast art by Joey Rizk

I think I made my throat worse throughout this episode so never say I don't suffer for my art. Outro Song: DJ Shithead - So Dumb Podcast art by Joey Rizk

Gonna straight up amputate my neck if it keeps acting out. Outro Song: On The Precipice of Defeat - Shiro Sagisu Podcast art by Joey Rizk

It's a chilling thought that if I get assassinated right after posting this episode, my last words will be about how much it costs to de-bottle your asshole. Outro Song: Tu vuò fa' l'Americano - Renato Carosone Podcast art by Joey Rizk

I'm dummy thicc, but like in the British sense.  That is to say, I'm a fucking idiot. Outro Song: April Fools' - Rufus Wainwright Podcast art by Joey Rizk

I just realized this episode is book ended with fear.  Good name for a Hardy Boy's novel by the way.  Anyone remember the Hardy Boys?  They're like if the Scooby Doo gang were Republicans. Outro Song: Surfin' Bird - The Trashmen Podcast art by Joey Rizk

Unironically the end song is a bopOutro song: Corn - Blake SheltonPodcast art by Joey Rizk