Don't Tell My Therapist

We began this podcast by sharing dating horror stories and trying to improve our mental health…Now we talk about shitting our pants and accidentally flashing a handyman. It’s crazy how far we’ve come! Enjoy Jenna and Sophia’s selection of the best moments from the past 30 episodes - the good, the bad, and the stories they definitely shouldn’t have put on the internet.

If he wanted to he would...right? If you're looking for shitty relationship advice, you've come to the right place. This week, the girls had the honor of receiving their first listener submission and they cut right to the chase: those two definitely aren't "just friends." But don't take our word for it, listen for yourself. Also, Sophia attempts to give a guy sex advice and Jenna hit a bicyclist (...

No one asked, but Jenna has peed 16 times today (so far). This week we are reminded that wherever Sophia goes, chaos follows. From a failed solo adventure to meeting a white girl wasted lawyer, she really can't catch a break. Jenna unplugs for the weekend (we're just as shocked as you are) and gets a free EDM show against her will. P.S. - If your birthday already happened this year, happy belated!

In this eventful session, Jenna gets in a bar fight (with a shelf) and lives to tell the tale (kind of). Luckily, Sophia was there to tell us what *really* happened. The crew finally meets Jenna's mom and were on their best behavior, but the waiter sure wasn't. Sophia's having fun building and dismantling her dating roster, one vegan at a time. The strongest contender may just be her refrigerator...

This week, the girls took a trip to Tahoe where they climbed Mt. Everest to get to a secret beach and spent 8 hours learning how to build a sex room. Jenna and Sophia get turned down by Portland’s hottest new bar and meet an emotional support snake. Jenna contemplates cosmetic surgery and we learn that we could all be much prettier if we simply had access to baby foreskins. Hey, we can’t all be Ha...

This week, Sophia goes to the Big Apple, gets her phone stolen (again) and has a big epiphany. Back home, Jenna pees in a stranger's yard (allegedly), learns about "vabbing," and BuYs A hOuSe??? Very off brand.

Happy Dead Dad Day to all who celebrate! This week, Sophia and Jenna go after Big Milk and the Supreme Court - who needs rights, right? The girls road trip to Seattle and take some detours down memory lane. We learn Sophia was in a cult and Jenna went to bible camp (not scientology - sorry Tom Cruise). Strap in, relax, and enjoy the show as Jenna and Sophia make their karaoke debut for the locals...

In celebration of Pride month, Jenna and Sophia play with 8 balls at once, discover Leonardo Da Vinci was gay, and party with "SluttyJesus," the dog trainer/stripper. Sophia starts dating again and naturally, chaos ensues - right on brand. Jenna gets a surprise update on the phone sex operator from Session 1 - let's hope he's not back for another round.

Sophia returned from EDC, but we can't say the same for her phone. In Session 22, Soph recaps the wonders and horrors of EDC, including the great Wiener War, flirting her way onto rides, and opportunistic phone thieves. Jenna reveals a new pet peeve and the girls explore replacing their therapists with horses - giddyup, mentally ill cowgirls!

Things here on Earth have been a little crazy lately, so Jenna and Sophia plan their trip to space - fingers crossed they don't get lost on the way there. This week, our directionally-challenged queens discuss being caretakers for boyfriends and horny cats, being bad at math, and hot people privilege. We're still trying to figure out if Sophia was actually abducted or if she's just making it up fo...

Start spreading the news…he’s leaving and gayyyy! We’re kicking off our 20th session with another special guest and the newest New Yorker: Michael! In the middle of packing up his entire life, Michael found the time to grace us with his presence before ditching us for the big apple. (Take a shot every time we reference New York in this description.) Michael shares his fears about starting over, ex...

It turns out that Sophia DOES have a hobby: she’s now a professional bully! Session 19 is off to a unique start when Sophia cyberbullies a comedian and admits she has the hots for King Triton. The girls recall their “scandalous” high school days, with 16-year old Jenna throwing a “Project J” house party that got a little too out of hand. Luckily she called the cops and no didgeridoos were harmed....

We are sad to say that this will be the last session of Don’t Tell My Therapist… just kidding. This week, Jenna takes April Fools pranks too far, turns 26 and gets a special birthday wish from Kimberly J. Brown (Marnie from Halloweentown, obviously). Sophia has yet another dating blunder which sparks a much-needed discussion about men who come on too strong, the importance of consistency and the p...

In Session 17, Jenna asks for help - "Again?!" - and Sophia embraces her new life as a single #CityGirl. The girls discuss dating with anxiety, the mental health walk of shame, and being called out by Chipotle employees. Sophia is working on her communication skills and is getting a cat...or murdered. Either way, it's good for the plot.

This week Jenna and Sophia introduce their good friend Natalie, who brings a wealth of sex knowledge and the ass of a mom from a Pixar movie. Natalie has no shame in her game and shares insight into dom/sub relationships and power play, consent in the kink community and making men power wash her driveway. Listen for an interesting look into the world of kink - you might just discover you enjoy bei...

It only took 3 years, but we finally quit our jobs. Did we mention we were coworkers? Not anymore. Jenna and Sophia recall the first time they met, interview dos and don'ts, and being scared of change. The girls conquer their fears and are leaving the past behind, with new jobs, new apartments, and new challenges ahead. If you're also planning to move soon, hire Jenna to organize everything and So...

This week, Jenna and Sophia welcome their first guest: the unforgettable Fran. She teaches them about life, death, and how to give a shit about yourself. From serial cheaters and emotional abuse, to hiding "saucy nudes" and twerking for the police - Fran's a jack of all trades. To know her is to love her, and we're so happy to introduce our one of a kind friend. Quick Fran tip: make sure you look...

In Session 13, Sophia invents a dating app (patent pending) and Jenna comes up with a savage party game that's perfect for your next family reunion or work event (play at your own risk). The girls deep dive into their dating profiles and expose men's most predictable prompts - we get it, you like The Office. Here's a tip, try being more unique and talk about Koala STD's - clearly that works for So...

All aboard the Pineapple Express! 2022 is off to a wild, yet completely on-brand, start. In the course of 2 weeks, Jenna got COVID and became Tik Tok famous - we're not sure which is worse. Sophia travels solo and has a memorable night with her new Canadian "friends," what a way to end that dry spell, eh?

New year, same bullshit. The new year may be coming, but Sophia is not. In Session 11, Sophia explains her dating hiatus and finds inspiration from Kung Fu Panda. Jenna sets her New Year’s resolutions and waters a fake plant for a week. 2022 is definitely going to be our year!

Hoe, hoe, hoe, Merry Cringemas everyone! In Session 10, Jenna receives a Christmas chicken and anniversary mouthwash, Sophia chases down a cheater, and they learn an important lesson in bathroom etiquette: avoid taking selfies in the handicap stall…

In this session, Jenna and Sophia preach how you shouldn’t talk shit, and then proceed to talk shit for the next 20 minutes. Hey, we said we’re growing, we’re not perfect. We reminisce on our petty pasts and tell stories about the Dish War, Jenna’s revolving door of roommates, accidental murder confessions and the great crowbar incident of 2017.

In this week’s episode, Jenna and Sophia discuss thanksgiving traditions, unwritten family rules and their hatred for turkey. If you don’t have thanksgiving plans yet, you can always show up to Jenna‘s house with the rest of the strays. The only catch is — you have to flash a tit. We hope you enjoy stuffing your face, but be careful not to overdo it or you might find yourself needing a Brown Knigh...

In this spoOooOky episode, Jenna and Sophia share their Halloweekend adventures. From drag queens to dive bars, the scariest part of the weekend was how many people didn't recognize our costume (Lindsay Lohan would be so disappointed). The girls share their near-death experiences, black out in a corn maze, and put their survival skills to the test.

Session 6 was doomed from the start when Jenna forgot to press record for the first 20 minutes. (It was an accident leave me alone). ANYWAYS, this week we learn about Sophia’s type in men, the horrors of 3-in-1 shampoo, male birth control, and the legend of “Lizzie Tinder.”