Don't Expect Anything

This week we welcome one of our INTERNATIONAL LISTENERS to the podcast. That’s right, international listeners, you too could end up on this “award-winning” “podcast” if you put your mind to it. United States foreign correspondent Allie joins us for a very strange topic involving invasive intestinal investigation (and dolphins, lots of dolphins). Then the inevitable Australia/America comparisons ar...

The only time for mice to play is when the cat is away and that usually happens at NIGHT. This week, Huw and Jeremy dust off a little two person podcast premise to bring back Don’t Expect Anything: Nights, the classic duo episode that skyrocketed them to new heights of fame! To match the evening theme, the two midnight men talk about things you can only do during the night time. A very promising p...

This week, the Talkie Boys use their knowledge of what is hip and popular to create a new hit television show. With reality TV, it is all about the premise and do they have a real doozy. Speaking of a real doozy, Jeremy also confronts Huw about his bathroom habits in another attempt to publicly shame his friend. These Talkie Boys are grossly desperate for admiration and acknowledgement so if you w...

The Talkie Boys gather around the ol’ table of debate once again to discuss their choices for the best fantasy/adventure film of all time. With three incredible films to argue over, things get immediately heated as Huw (a 23 year old man) throws a hissy fit during his opening arguments which causes petty turmoil to take hold of the rest of the episode. Seriously, the man broke a lamp and is just a...

This week the boys discuss childhood trends and fads, but not before Josh is welcomed back from his holiday to the USA. After a brief breakdown of the land of the free – largely a critique of their food and drink – the conversation turns to fedoras, Yu-Gi-Oh cards, questionable fashion choices and beatboxing. Oh beatboxing, Huw’s achilles heel. Ladies and gentleman, wait until you hear the King of...

It’s a real spine-busting, pile-driving, slobber-knocker of an episode this week as the boys take turns at inventing their very own wrestling superstars! Then Huw gets a little carried away in his nostalgic passion for WWE in the late 2000s, and regales his co-hosts with stories of love, betrayal and in-ring representations of American foreign policy. If you like WWE then this is your episode. If...

Forty weeks ago, the Talkie Boys and special guest Liv Staffieri began a journey they never thought they would see the end of. They looked deep inside themselves and found their immoral, horn-dog souls and decided to go through IMDB’s Top 250 rated films and create porn parody titles for each and every one of them. This week, the journey reaches it inevitable disappointing climax as they finish of...

Jeremy is away this week, but as Huw and Josh try to roll on into a regular episode they are interrupted by a surprise guest! For those of you who have listened before, you may remember him as the hopeful turkey farmer on his way to compete in the 4th Annual Turkey Rama-Drama. Either way, you’ll now come to know him as the most frustrating, infuriating, double-raisin-bran-peddling madman that he h...

The Talkie Boys start their second year as podcasters by attempting to lose as many fans as they can by starting the episode discussing politics and religion, two subjects “everyone” can agree on. But, when this gets too contentious, they turn to the wonderful world of dogs to try and decide which one is the best. These Talkie Boys are grossly desperate for admiration and acknowledgment so if you...

Oh boy, this garbage fire has been on the air for one whole year! Yes, you read that correctly, one year ago the Talkie Boys embarked on a journey to bring you the bare minimum in podcasting entertainment and ‘lo and behold, they did it? To celebrate the occasion, Jeremy has collated a few clips from the past year that didn’t make it to the air. From conversations initially deemed too racy, to eso...

Well, it finally happened, the podcast finally has a guest on that is too ashamed to reveal their true identity. The Talkie Boys welcome Anonymous (aka. Anon) to their weekly discussion by first breaking down their views on the cinematic juggernaut Aquaman (SPOILERS FOR AQUAMAN BEGIN AT 4.34 AND END AT 11.25.) All this talking about the adventures of shirtless Jason Mamoa we begin to crave our own...

It’s the first episode of 2019 and boy do we kick it off with a bang! We bring in the New Year with discussions that include RSL sex crimes, stories of debauchery and excessive drink, the intricate political doctrines of school bus seating, and then a whole lot of platitudinous quasi-philosophizing regarding journeys and destinations. Seriously we talk in circles for the last fifteen minutes and t...

Gather around the crackling fire and throw all of the ripped up wrapping paper into it because ‘tis the day after Christmas and the Talkie Boys are bringing you some extra merry conversations. Wanting to share the holiday vibes with as many people as possible, Jeremy hosted a Christmas/his 24th birthday party with some good friends. He forced them to do the hard work for him by having a number of...

It takes one hell of a podcast to combine disorganisation, stupidity, arguments and science-fiction into a single episode but somehow, the Talkie Boys have done it. Tasked with proving that their chosen science-fiction character is better than the rest, Jeremy, Josh and Huw compete in a series of “carefully considered” discussions to try and prove their choice is the one and only correct one. Jere...

This week, the scattered minds of the Talkie Boys are on full display as they jump around a variety of topics. What starts off as a half-hearted attempt to somehow figure out world peace morphs into a cacophony of various conversations including awful primary school fashion choices, the twelve colours in a crayon set and Huw gets passionate about the ups and downs of being a card-carrying member o...

The Talkie Boys are heading to Hollywood! Josh-less but not lost(-less), Keegan Mew returns to the podcast to help pitch the next big Hollywood blockbuster. But, if Keegan and Huw don’t have a perfect movie pitch for their meeting with the cocaine-snorting, racist-misogynist movie executive that Jeremy morphs into, they may not make it as big time movie producers! Along the way, they’ll get side-t...

Dear Jesus, every ten weeks I pray to you for help. I have been a good person, sticking true to your values and helping the world every bit I can. But, sire, all I ask for in return is if you can smite down the blasphemers from the Don’t Expect Anything Podcast and their so-called friend Liv Staffieri. Every ten weeks they do their IMDB Top 250 Porno Films episode and it is too filthy for our chil...

Fans of Josh despair as this week’s episode only has the awful Jeremy and the disappointing Huw. These two losers try to fill the void of their more talented and charming co-host by discussing what brings a tear to their eye. Once these beta male soy-boys have exhausted their tiny supply of interesting things to say on crying, they move onto more “interesting” topics such as violence, creationism...

This week’s topic concerns super-stardom, which ultimately becomes a Ball-a-palooza™ as the boys (well really just Huw and Jeremy) reminisce about an old highschool friend. The boys then touch on musicians, Ellen, and directors before ultimately landing back in the wonderful world of Ratatouille. Huw is to blame, but we promise he’ll be stopped in the future. I know it’s hard to like these Talkie...

Finally, the episode you’ve all been waiting for! After teasing the homework topic for WEEKS, the Talkie Boys finally deliver the knowledge. Tasked with teaching their co-hosts on a topic of their own choosing, Huw, Josh and Jeremy take in turns laying down the facts on three extremely specific areas of expertise. Huw talks about the only movie he cares about, Josh discusses his work and Jeremy pr...

It’s Halloween and in order to achieve an authentic spooky experience, the Talkie Boys head to an abandoned hospital, all for your entertainment. Inside the abandoned walls of Belck Hospital, our intrepid band of hosts will meet a hungry man/boy and some ghoulish doctors. Hopefully nothing bad will happen! Will someone meet their doom? Will your favourite survive?! Find out this week, on the 2018...

To begin their first sober episode in quite a while, Jeremy undergoes a moment which every person must go through at some point. Trying a fruit roll-up for the first time. After this life altering experience, the Talkie Boys discuss their recent dive into the filmography of Adam Sandler and (surprise, surprise) Jeremy has a few things to say about it. Once everything settles down, they are all tas...

The Talkie Boys mumble and stumble their way through a variety of post-power-hour topics including torture methods, immortal royalty, peg preferences, fanny packs, names, and phantom strap. This episode features a lot of slurring, stuttering, heavy breathing and an overall lack of control. Also if there are any 5ive fans out there, this one’s for you. I know it’s hard to like these Talkie Boys but...

Things get very gassy this week as the Talkie Boys, in what can only be described as a poor idea, complete a Power Hour. With the task of drinking 60 shots of beer in 60 minutes the boys try to hold conversations concerning debauchery, biscuit theft, name-calling, and the chilling realisation that death is inevitable for each and every one of us. If you hate burp noises then you’ll really hate thi...

As fair-dinkum, true-blue Australians, the Talkie Boys love nothing more than the AFL Grand Final, the one day in September and the only way to celebrate it is to throw a big party. This year, Huw and Jeremy have invited a bunch of people to come over and watch the Grand Final with them while they record an episode through a haze of footy and beers. We’ll meet some new friends and unfortunately mi...