Doing Marriage Well

This episode explains how friends can be a couple’s greatest asset or biggest liability: choose one spiritually mature, discreet friend with a strong marriage who will challenge you and protect confidentiality. It also encourages couples with healthy relationships to help others, offers the idea of couple-level support, and reminds listeners to recognise limits and refer to professionals when need...

Paul explains why a neutral third party is one of the best allies a marriage can have and why meeting as a couple is often wiser than seeking one-sided help. He outlines how to choose help, set expectations and boundaries, involve faith, and bring a reluctant spouse into the process.

This episode addresses the critical issue of sexual frequency in marriage and how prolonged dissatisfaction can damage relationships. It explains why a lack of intimacy often leads partners to feel unloved, drift apart, or even pursue divorce or infidelity, and emphasises that insufficient sex is an emergency that requires immediate attention. Paul urges couples to seek help, communicate openly, a...

This episode explores the quiet compromises couples make in their sex lives—when partners go along with acts they don’t enjoy and how differences in preference and changing desires complicate intimacy. Using examples like breast play and oral sex, the host explains why honest, kind communication matters; suggests how to open conversations (starting with “it’s me"); and emphasises that dislikes can...

Paul explains how to address annoying habits in marriage by distinguishing two common situations: staying silent or repeatedly raising the issue. He stresses choosing a good time, being kind, admitting your own part, and framing requests as “I need your help.” Practical suggestions include setting phone-free times, using headphones, offering help with tasks, creating a light signal to break habits...

Paul urges couples to stop tolerating behaviors that steadily damage their relationship — from selective listening and messiness to constant "fubbing" and lateness — and gives permission to address these issues rather than suffer in silence. He focuses on lateness with a personal anecdote about differing expectations and their effect on marriage, and previews practical advice on how to bring up th...

Paul explains why staying silent about repeated annoyances in marriage only makes them worse: small issues accumulate into resentment and sudden outbursts, and blowing up rarely solves the problem. He outlines common reasons couples don't speak up, asks you to reflect on habits you may be tolerating, and previews that practical ways to address these issues calmly will be discussed later in the wee...

This episode explores why asking for what you need in a marriage can feel risky—fear of dismissal, passive-aggression, repeated requests, or the sense that your needs aren’t valued. Paul outlines practical steps: name the need clearly (try, "I need action to feel emotion"), follow up when confused, avoid accusatory language, thank attempts, and consider third-party help for persistent issues. Smal...

In this episode Paul explores why you can feel empty in marriage even when your spouse seems to be giving—because you may be asking for the wrong thing (for example, love versus respect), using your partner to numb past hurts, or trying to make up for what you lacked growing up. Misunderstood requests and unmet inner needs often cause ongoing frustration. Paul urges prayerful self-examination, cle...

Paul explains that while sex is an important need in marriage, people often use it to fill other unmet needs—love, touch, intimacy, stress relief—which leaves them feeling empty and can harm the relationship. He offers a simple guideline and encourages couples to recognise when sex is being used for non-sexual needs, communicate honestly, and focus on making sex about sex to restore satisfaction a...

This episode explains why people often can’t admit what they truly need from their spouse: social expectations, fear of appearing weak, and old patterns from being denied as children. It describes how asking for the right things matters for feeling loved and how silence or seeking the wrong things keeps you empty. The host encourages recognising those patterns, having honest conversations with you...

Doing Marriage Well — April 21, 2026: Paul explores the power of vulnerable requests and the importance of asking for emotional needs in marriage. Using simple examples (Tilly and Whisky asking for attention and Lori saying, “I will need extra hugs today”), he shows how clear requests build trust, lists common reasons people avoid asking, and encourages couples to speak honestly about what they ne...

Paul explains that while faith in Jesus is essential, marriage also requires meeting one another’s human needs. God created us for relationship, and a spouse must intentionally look for and fulfil legitimate needs through sacrifice and care. Listen and reflect on what you need from your partner and how you can better meet their needs—doing marriage well means combining faith with practical love.

This episode explores how sex drive is more than a physical urge and why responsive desire—wanting sex and choosing to act— is normal, especially for many women. It explains how emotions and relationship connection shape desire and offers simple ways to initiate intimacy without waiting to feel horny. We also discuss changes in men's bodies and erections, why an erection isn't the sole sign of des...

This episode explains why sex can become painful after menopause—falling estrogen thins and dries intimate tissues—and how topical estrogen (creams, rings, or tablets) restores tissue thickness, improves lubrication, lowers vaginal pH, and can reduce infections. Your doctor will advise which option is best for you. When medication isn’t enough, careful stretching (using a lubricated finger or part...

This episode explains why a couple's thinking is the key to a great sex life—be intentional about having sex, dealing with problems, and adapting as bodies and schedules change. Practical advice includes committing to regular intimacy, communicating and engaging fully during sex, trying new approaches as needed, and planning for physical changes so intimacy remains satisfying through the years.

Paul outlines two simple diagnostic questions—do erections soften during sex, and do you wake with firm morning erections—to distinguish venous leak, physical, or psychological causes of ED. He explains practical solutions: a snug, easy-to-remove penis ring for venous leak, ED medications like Cialis or generics, and the importance of medical evaluation for cardiovascular risk factors. Married Dan...

This episode of Doing Marriage Well explores sex after 50 and how couples can keep their sexual lives satisfying as they age. Paul highlights common issues, the widespread lack of accurate sexual-health knowledge, and the importance of learning about your own and your partner’s bodies. He discusses where people look for help—doctors and the internet; notes the variability in expertise and informat...

Paul explains why inviting your spouse into your spiritual life matters and how your walk with Jesus should shape your marriage. He suggests talking about your spiritual upbringing, conversion, current prayer life, Bible reading, and theological views with grace—seeking understanding rather than debate. If one spouse is not saved, Paul encourages gentle witness and shared practices like prayer, de...

Paul discusses why sexual transparency between spouses matters and how sharing your sexual history can build empathy, explain triggers, and lead to greater intimacy. He urges honest but compassionate conversations—acknowledging both light memories and painful experiences—while prioritising safety, patience, and mutual support for healing and a stronger marriage.

This episode challenges couples to remove emotional armor and practice "emotional nudity" by opening deep feelings to one another with safety, patience, and mutual grace. Paul offers practical guidance: go slowly if trust is low, accept emotions without taking responsibility for them, respond with compassion rather than defensiveness, and work toward honest conversations that heal and strengthen y...

In this episode Paul invites couples to move from past-focused conversations to sharing the thoughts they carry in the present — dreams (big and small), fears, frustrations, evolving beliefs, and reactions to current events — so spouses can better know each other and strengthen their marriage. He recommends a practical habit: a daily 10-minute "mental update" to share what's on your mind, with lon...

In this episode of Doing Marriage Well (April 7, 2026), Paul explains why sharing your past matters for a healthy marriage and how revealing your history helps your spouse understand and give grace. He offers practical steps—start with joyful memories, gradually share harder experiences, and try a "history date night" where each person shares three happy rooms and one difficult room—to foster heal...

This episode explores the idea of a "no-closed-doors" marriage, encouraging couples to gradually open the hidden or locked emotional rooms they keep from one another. It emphasises that transparency can bring healing and deeper intimacy but warns it's not suitable for struggling marriages or any situation involving abuse. Listeners are advised to move slowly, give each other grace, and celebrate s...

Paul explores how early messages about sex shape our sexual self-image and create guilt, shame, and barriers in marriage. He explains that much of this baggage comes from parents and childhood experiences, and that both men and women are affected. Drawing on what God says about sexuality, Paul encourages couples to talk openly, identify the roots of their negative beliefs, and support each other i...