Doing It Together: Making Sense of Low Libido, Sex, and Intimacy in Marriage.

In the second part of Kate’s story, we discover what shifted in her marriage that caused her once-strong sexual desire to disappear—and why sex became a low priority in her relationship. When Kate started dating her future husband, she worried the passion might fade. But to her relief, it didn’t. Their sex life remained fun, exciting, and free of guilt. Everything changed, however, after they had...

Kate’s story differs from many shared on this podcast. She was raised by atheist parents in a non-religious household. Although sex was never talked about, she educated herself by stealing books about sex from her grandmother’s library.  In her 20’s, she was part of the slam poetry scene and she and her friends “slept around a lot” having fun and feeling completely free of shame or guilt. Whe...

If you’ve been curious about what the concepts of Doing It Together can do for your sex life and marriage in the long term, this is the episode for you! Justin and Sandra, married for 19 years, took Doing It Together two years ago and they graciously share VERY specific details about what their relationship and sex life look like now. They open up about how they’ve learned to talk, play, remain cu...

Janna answers questions she's received from men and women about her Doing It Together program. Questions include: • I’ve never had a sex drive—not even before marriage. Will this program help me? • My husband is a good guy. What if the problem really is just me? • What if I already tried therapy, supplements, hormones, books, scheduling sex… and nothing worked? • Is this the end of sex as I know i...

In part two of Janna’s conversation with Ryan, he opens up about his decision to wait until marriage to have sex—a choice rooted in a desire to escape the guilt he’d carried for most of his life. While the experience was fine at first, their intimacy gradually faded. Over time, Ryan began to feel isolated and deeply unloved. Determined to fix their relationship, he turned to podcasts and books for...

In Part 1 of Ryan’s story, he opens up about his early experiences learning about sex—lessons that came in crude form on the school bus, mixed messages from his Christian upbringing, and early exposure to internet pornography. This exposure led to an addiction that left him feeling trapped and overwhelmed with guilt. Ryan shares what it took for him to finally reach out for help, and the powerful...

At 62, Bill has been married to his wife for 32 years. They waited until marriage to become intimate, but soon after discovered she had endometriosis, a condition that made intercourse painful and unfulfilling. As a result, she began to withdraw—avoiding physical affection and emotional affirmation to steer clear of intimacy. Meanwhile, Bill deeply missed the emotional closeness they had shared du...

I’m continuing my powerful conversation with Carey from last week. If you haven’t heard that episode yet, I highly recommend going back to Episode 142 to catch up—she opened up so vulnerably about her 30-year marriage and the challenges she’s faced with intimacy over the years. In this episode, Carey shares how her entire understanding of sex has evolved, the hard truths she and her husband had to...

In this honest and vulnerable two-part episode, Carey shares the hidden struggles she faced with intimacy throughout her 30-year marriage while raising seven children. At just nine years old, Carey was exposed to adult magazines that distorted her understanding of intimacy. By 13, she found herself in relationships where intimacy felt more like something expected of her than something she chose. M...

In this reair of Ep. 111, Janna chats with Michael Kaufman, the author of The Time Has Come: Why Men Must Join the Gender Equality Revolution . Michael, a renowned advisor, activist, and keynote speaker, shares his insights on how traditional male roles in the bedroom and beyond often don’t benefit women. They dive into why it's crucial for men to confront their own privilege and engage in open di...

Romance novels promised Amy that her man would always know exactly what to do. The church assured her that sex would be wonderful once she was married. But when her first wedding night was filled with pain instead of pleasure, she was shocked. And the pain never went away. Over the course of her 30-year marriage, it evolved from undiagnosed endometriosis to rheumatoid arthritis to menopause. She f...

One of the most common questions we get is: "How do I talk to my kids about sex?"  In today’s episode, Janna sits down with her teammates, Melissa C. and Melissa W., to discuss how they approach these conversations with their kids, whose ages range from 6 to 21. They share stories from their own childhoods, reflecting on how they navigated these topics largely on their own, and the education they...

It’s been a year since Chris and his wife of 21 years took the Doing It Together course, and he’s here to give an honest update on how things are going. For two decades, Chris and his wife struggled with intimacy, trying everything they could think of to improve their connection. From counseling and self-help books to even participating in a university sex study, they explored every option. Despit...

Luke and his wife have been married for 25 years and have struggled with sex through most of that time. Things changed after kids and his wife experienced post-partum depression. Her libido plumeted and didn’t come back. Luke took the stance that this was her problem to solve and waited for years for her to 'fix' herself. It wasn’t until they found Janna and the Doing It Together program that Luke...

Janna discovered Jaime and Josh through their shared Instagram profile, @marriageishappening , and was so moved by their marriage story that she invited them to join her on the podcast. Married at 21 with four kids soon after, they initially adhered to traditional gender roles—Jaime stayed at home while Josh worked outside the house. Jaime, an extrovert, describes early parenthood as a time filled...

Keith continues his story from Episode 134, diving deeper into his experience of starting the Doing It Together (DIT) program with his wife. Having gone through his own therapy, Keith thought he was way ahead of the game when he began DIT. However, he quickly realized the role he played in his relationship dynamic was much more complex than he had originally thought. In this episode, Keith shares...

In this two-part episode, Keith shares the first part of his story. Growing up as a child of color, Keith learned early on what was and wasn’t acceptable to express around his family and friends, especially the men and boys. While the women in his life supported his artistic side and sensitivity, Keith feared being labeled as weak or ridiculed by the men. His culture taught him that toughness and...

In this enlightening episode, 40-year-old Brandi shares her inspiring journey of self-discovery and rekindled desire. Growing up in southern Utah within the Mormon faith, Brandi's sex education was rooted in the belief of abstinence until marriage. After her first marriage ended due to years of betrayal, she ventured into the eye-opening world of online dating before meeting her current husband.&n...

Kate and her husband started out having what she describes as a great sex life. It felt exciting, easy and fun and her pleasure was easily accessible. As the years passed and life got more stressful and overwhelming, her desire plummeted. She couldn’t understand what happened. She started keeping a calendar to track how often they had sex and if too much time went by she would shame herself into d...

On the final day of the last round of Doing It Together , Janna and her team gathered all the husbands and wives for a farewell Zoom call. During this heartwarming session, she asked, "What’s been your most unexpected takeaway from this program?" The couples’ honest responses were deeply moving. After just eight weeks on their journey, they had already made remarkable progress in rekindling their...

In this special episode, Janna talks with her coaching teammates, Justin and Melissa, about the upcoming round of Doing It Together, what couples can expect from the program, and common questions they are asked about low libido and sexual connection from both men and women. Justin and Melissa answer: What are men and women worried about when considering joining Doing It Together? What would you sa...

From a young age, Kris learned to suppress his emotions and handle his feelings alone. His friends, family, and culture reinforced this mindset, showing him quick fixes for managing his growing anxiety, such as drinking alcohol, using drugs, or turning to adult entertainment. Over time, he became an expert at burying his emotions, but this came at a cost—dark moods, silence, and withdrawal from hi...

Chloe and her husband, married for 12 years, struggled with their intimate relationship from the very beginning. However, they found it difficult to have honest conversations with each other. Both raised in Britain with the belief in keeping a “stiff upper lip,” discussing emotions or sensitive topics didn’t come naturally to them. Her husband’s moods often turned dark and tense, and Chloe learned...

Tim and his wife have been married for 30 years. Their initial connection was deep and fulfilling, but once they got married, something changed. His wife began to touch him less and less, and Tim felt rejected and confused. This led to frequent arguments. After their three kids moved out, Tim hoped things would improve, but they didn’t. He fell into an emotional spiral, convincing himself that the...

33-year-old Bri was convinced something was wrong with her. She hadn't been intimate with her husband in over two years, and their once passionate relationship had dwindled to a series of weekly arguments and frustrations on both sides. She was convinced she had low libido because she was too young to have lost interest in sex—what else could it be? After following Janna for several years, Bri and...