Doing It Together: Making Sense of Low Libido, Sex, and Intimacy in Marriage.

For the 200th episode of the Doing It Together podcast, the tables are turned as Janna sits in the guest seat while her daughter interviews her about the journey behind the microphone. Together, they look back on four years of honest conversations about sex, desire, marriage, and relationships, exploring how the podcast has evolved, the lessons learned along the way, and the moments that have chal...

Has sex become less about connection and more about keeping the peace?  In this episode, Janna talks with Joanna about a pattern many couples quietly fall into, where sex becomes a way to restore harmony, avoid conflict, or make a partner happier rather than an experience rooted in mutual desire, pleasure, and connection. They unpack the emotional weight behind this dynamic and explore how it...

What happens when loving someone means letting go of the need to fix them? Derek shares his journey of realizing that his attempts to rescue and support his wife were unintentionally creating distance between them. After years of trying to pull her out of pain and show her how wonderful life could be, he discovered that what she needed most wasn't someone to turn on the light—it was someone willin...

What if one of the keys to a more connected relationship isn't communicating better—but paying closer attention? In this episode, Janna and her husband pull back the curtain on a practice they've been intentionally developing in their marriage: attunement. Rather than waiting for your partner to tell you exactly what they need, attunement is the skill of noticing, anticipating, and staying emotion...

When Lauren was invited to share her story on the podcast, she hesitated. Talking publicly about your sex life isn't easy—especially when your experience doesn't fit the cultural script of what a "healthy" woman is supposed to want. Then she surprised us with an unexpected suggestion: what if her sister joined the conversation? What followed was a candid, funny, and moving discussion between two s...

In this surprisingly vulnerable conversation, Brian — a former fire chief turned maintenance mechanic — shares his story of growing up with almost no sex education beyond, “don’t get her pregnant,” and the quiet pressures men often carry alone. Together, we explore fear, conditioning, hard conversations, and what it looks like to begin questioning long-held patterns later in life. At 58, Brian ope...

At the end of each eight-week round of Doing It Together , Janna hosts a farewell call where couples gather together and she asks one powerful question: What surprised you most about your Doing It Together journey? In this episode, you’ll hear honest reflections from real couples about their experiences — what they learned, what they had to unlearn, and how their relationships changed along the wa...

On the podcast today, Justin (the male mentor for the men’s group) and I pull back the curtain to share as real and honestly as we can what it feels like to progress through the Doing It Together program. We talk about: What do the men’s calls actually feel like? What do women talk about in week one? What happens when someone’s partner isn’t taking things as seriously? What emotions come up throug...

What if the problem in your sex life isn’t low libido… but the pressure, expectations, and conditioning you’ve been carrying for years? In this conversation, Erica shares how she spent years believing she was broken, trying everything from therapy to self-help advice to “fix” her lack of desire — only to discover that the real issue had far more to do with safety, pressure, and the scripts women a...

Why do so many women feel disconnected from sex—even in loving relationships? In this episode, we unpack the two core motivations behind intimacy: avoidance and approach. When sex is driven by pressure, obligation, or fear—like avoiding conflict, guilt, or rejection—it’s no surprise that desire fades. Yet, this pattern is so normalized that many women end up believing something is wrong with them,...

Anthony shares his journey from defensiveness and disconnection to truly hearing his partner for the first time. Like many couples, they found themselves stuck in a cycle of repeating the same conversations, hoping something would finally click… but real change didn’t begin until willingness entered the picture. Anthony opens up about the moment he recognized how deeply his upbringing had shaped h...

Why are we still defining sex in a way that doesn’t feel good for many women? In this eye-opening episode, my guest Anne and I challenge one of the most normalized (and harmful) beliefs about intimacy: that intercourse is the main event. Through Anne’s story, you’ll hear how cultural messaging, lack of real education, and silent expectations led to pain, confusion—and feeling broken. But this conv...

I’ve been scratching my head for years trying to figure out how to help couples talk to each other about sex and share the helpful information on the podcast. I knew that a simple, non-threatening video was necessary for both men and women to be able to send to their partners to explain the basic concepts.  I also knew that I needed to make the podcast accessible for newbies with an easy “sta...

Jo shares her journey from confusion and pressure around sex to rediscovering connection, safety, and genuine pleasure with her husband. She opens up about: How cultural messaging shaped her relationship with sex The hidden impact of “obligation” and silent pressure in long-term relationships The turning point that helped her and her partner finally understand each other Why emotional safety—not t...

Do you ever feel like you are the one with all the "baggage" in your relationship? This is exactly how Liz felt for years. In every category she looked- religious, cultural upbringing, and past life choices, she felt inferior to her spouse. To make up for the gap, she tried to be the “perfect” wife by providing her husband sex and keeping her body up even through four pregnancies.  No surpris...

When a couple can meet each other with non-judgmental empathy, it draws you closer to each other. Nobody is shamed, questioned or put down and it leads to a deeper intimacy. This is the power of mutual vulnerability and it’s one of the bedrocks of a healthy marriage (and sex life). But most people don’t do a very good job at it! (which makes sense- who taught us how???) In today’s podcast episode,...

In my work, I highlight the terrible things that gender inequality does to a couple’s sexual relationship but it extends far beyond the bedroom impacting connection, financial health, individual happiness, physical health, and, ultimately, relationship satisfaction. Which is why as soon as I finished the book, “ Equal Partners: Improving Gender Equality at Home ” by Kate Mangino , I knew I needed...

After decades of quiet frustration in their sex life, DeeDee and her husband made a bold decision: they would burn their “traditional” sex life to the ground and rebuild something that actually worked for them. For most of her life, DeeDee struggled with low libido. It affected her relationships, her self-esteem, and especially her marriage. She tried everything—books, advice, and years of therapy...

This episode provides an update on what Janna and her husband are working on in their sex life. Both talk about how anxiety affects their sexual experience in different ways. Janna shares her anxieties about: trying to have an orgasm and it not progressing getting in her head about what “should” happen next being worried about his experience and if he's "getting bored” Dwayne shares his anxieties...

My podcast guest is Dr. Kervins Clement and his story is one that I hear about all the time- where a dependency on porn use and masturbation is justified as helping the relationship when, in fact, it often does the opposite.  In this episode we explore: How Kervins’ own recovery shaped the way he now works with men and couples. What his research revealed about the role of culture and history...

We're re-releasing one of our most listened to episodes! If you’ve been curious about what the concepts of Doing It Together can do for your sex life and marriage in the long term, you'll want to listen to Justin and Sandra's story. Married for 19 years, they took Doing It Together two years ago and they graciously share VERY specific details about what their relationship and sex life look like no...

There is no shortcut to heal from a toxic world that has tricked us into thinking sex is just a series of acts designed to physically stimulate us. The only way through is to slow down, unlearn and heal- not just for your marriage but for your well-being.  It’s understanding safety, not just physically, but emotionally. It’s questioning the model of sex you were handed, instead of trying to p...

Justin joins me for a foundational episode in which we zoom out and discuss the role that men play when their wives have “low libido”.  He starts off by sharing how he felt when his wife stopped wanting to have sex with him- the feelings of confusion and worrying if he had done something wrong. Then we take a journey through the unique ways men can contribute to a great sex life, how to creat...

Many women I talk to struggle enjoying physical touch during sex. They don’t know their experience can be any other way so they continue trying to enjoy things they don’t like and then label themselves as “non-sexual”.  In our conversation, my husband and I discuss: • why so many women push themselves to initiate or say yes even when their body is clearly uncomfortable • why discomfort is so...

In today’s episode, I’m pulling back the curtain on one of the most important elements of moving towards freedom in your relationship and that is…a reset from sex. It’s something that you may have heard many times on the podcast in interviews with alumni of Doing It Together but it’s the first time I’ve addressed it directly. If you are tired of the mental energy sex is taking up in your life righ...