Divorce Your Story Podcast

October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month which aims to raise awareness, support survivor's, break the silence and work towards the prevention and elimination of domestic violence in all its forms. Domestic Violence can be physical, sexual, psychological, economical, and/or spiritual. These patterns are designed to manipulate, isolate, frighten, terrorize and hurt someone in ways that will...

When divorces/breakups take place,  being your "Best Self" is a common objective. However, what can get overlooked is the transformative steps required to make this happen. In this week's podcast, join me for a conversation as I discuss essential elements for becoming the best version of yourself in the aftermath of a divorce or breakup. "Order my book: "Divorce Your Story:...

When someone you love hurts you, so much gets processed internally:‎ • The disbelief and shock of it all • Your self-esteem gets compromised • An overwhelm of shame, guilt, and/or self-blame • Your perception on relationships and people The impact of feeling betrayed can begin a wave of questions and emotions regarding ‎themselves, the person who betrayed them, and the entire relationship.‎ On thi...

Your beliefs about your body can determine whether you perceive yourself as deserving or undeserving of love and acceptance. Influences from movies, media, magazines, and our families have embedded messages that can foster an unhealthy narrative, suggesting that bodies not conforming to societal standards are inadequate and lack appeal. Consequently, individuals may develop eating disorders, consi...

What happens when one person wants to exit out of the relationship and the other one doesn't? Even though the logical solution is to respect the other person's decision, it's not always the easiest conclusion to come to when you're the person who wants to work it out. When you're in this cycle of wanting to make the relationship work while the other one doesn't, you're...

When it comes to caring for yourself aka "self-care", its significance can easily diminish when it becomes a trendy buzzword and loses its authenticity. However, in its genuine form, self-care serves as a means to honor and demonstrate self-respect, ultimately enhancing your overall quality of life. Frequently, self-care is reduced to a method of "treating oneself," where it ca...

This past weekend, I celebrated another birthday. Every year, I take a moment to contemplate the various factors that have played a role in my personal growth and development. One significant aspect of this reflection is the notion of celebrating life. Life frequently presents us with disappointments that lie beyond our control. Often, when our carefully laid plans do not unfold as expected, it ca...

When it comes to dating, specifically after divorce, it involves much more than simply "re-entering the dating scene." Contrary to what many believe, it takes a lot of courage to step back out in the dating arena when plans to spend the rest of your life with someone has changed. One of the most complexed and complicated questions is "When will I be ready?". Now although no one...

When the priority becomes pleasing others at the expense of your own well-being and quality of life, it's likely that you've ingrained a tendency toward being a "people pleaser." This surpasses mere kindness; it has evolved into a pattern where you modify your true self for the sake of others. Over time, this persistent need to satisfy others transforms into a self-sacrificial in...

When someone in a relationship decides to "step out" it violates the relationship's exclusivity as well as jeopardizes the overall well-being of the relationship. While public conversations about infidelity often revolve around men, what unfolds when a woman finds herself entangled in such actions? Research indicates that approximately 13% to 15% of women engage in infidelity, driven...

There are many gray areas around entertaining "situationships" a term that is characterized around uncertainty and undefined boundaries. These types of connections can often have a significant impact on individuals both mentally and emotionally. The blurred lines and lack of clear commitment can lead to confusion and unease, potentially causing emotional turmoil. Although there isn't...

Expressions like "I don't trust anyone," "No one can be trusted," "Loyalty is scarce nowadays," and "Opening up will only lead to pain" may appear straightforward, but beneath their surface lies profound implications that hinder genuine connections, vulnerability, and living authentically. When an individual has experienced betrayal in the past, it can s...

If you find yourself stuck in a repetitive cycle of mentally and emotionally questioning what you could have done to "save" your marriage, it's essential to ask yourself: Were you inadvertently seeking to play the role of the savior in the relationship? While it is natural and beneficial to reflect on your past marriage, this introspection can become detrimental if it leads to excess...

Contrary to popular belief, your "ex" holds minimal relevance to your journey of moving forward. Too much credit is given to someone who no longer holds the same level of significance in your life and when that's the case, the focus needs to change. When the decision has been made to dissolve, it's important to be mindful on how much you're giving "life" to this sto...

When we experience harm from others, it is common to expect an apology as a form of resolution. However, it is crucial to understand that while an apology holds power, it should not be a requirement for our own personal progress. The reality is that some individuals may choose not to apologize, and this decision is often beyond our control. Nevertheless, we have the ability to seek our own closure...

One of the hardest things to understand, specifically when you were available in your relationship, is coming to terms when the other person wasn't. There are numerous reasons as to why this could be however, what gets many in a cycle of attempting to understand is that they the other person's lack of presence personal to their value. When you continuously allow this to be the reasoning fo...

According to fatherhood.gov, research studies indicate that children who have involved and loving fathers are more likely to achieve academic success, develop healthy self-esteem, display empathy and pro-social behavior, and avoid engaging in high-risk activities such as drug use, school absenteeism, and criminal behavior. While there is extensive discussion surrounding uninvolved fathers, it is i...

When masculinity is often discussed, the focus on predefined characteristics and expectations overlooks the individuality and complexity of men's experiences. By reducing masculinity to a narrow definition based on traditional ideals of strength, emotional suppression, dominance, and a reluctance to seek help or support, we limit the potential for men to fully express themselves and navigate t...

Studies indicate that second marriages have an even higher rate of divorce than first marriages. When you hear this statistical data, one why think "Why would I get married again if the chances of it ending in divorce are even greater?" However, it's important to consider various factors that contribute to this trend and understand that statistics don't necessarily dictate indivi...

Contrary to popular belief, divorce poses challenges for both men and women. While it is commonly assumed that men handle it better, studies reveal that men actually face greater difficulties in coping with divorce. Men encounter a range of obstacles, including internal conflicts, emotional pain, identity issues, and heartbreak. Gaining insight and perspective from men is crucial to understanding...

Research suggests that encountering any type of life challenge can affect an individual's mental well-being. Experiencing the loss or termination of a relationship can pose a challenge and potentially impact a person's mental health. As a relationship dissolves, various aspects such as children, finances, families, friends, time, and memories undergo significant changes. Neglecting and dis...

When couples split, the emotion of guilt can arise and have a significant impact on both individuals involved. It is natural for feelings of guilt to surface during such a challenging time, as people may question their actions, decisions, or the consequences of the separation. However, it is equally important to recognize that dwelling on guilt may hinder the healing process and prevent individual...

Starting afresh after a divorce can be a time filled with emotional challenges and uncertainty. It's completely natural to experience feelings of being overwhelmed, confused, and unsure about what steps to take next. Amidst the complexities of thinking about your children, finances, co-parenting, and establishing a new sense of self, you are also navigating the emotional aftermath of the divor...

What gets misunderstood quite often is that it's easy to leave a marriage, however it's one of the most challenging decisions to make even when it was the safest option to choose. When marriages dissolved all kinds of questions arise. You wonder what's next, you wonder if you made the right choice, and you wonder if you could have done more to save the relationship. It's a difficul...

"No one gets married to get a divorce"...that's hardly the plan. However, what happens when those plans change? What happens when your life is disrupted in ways that doesn't seem possible to move on? My client Wendy and I worked together back in 2021 where she was 52 at the time and dissolving a 28 year marriage. The emotional turmoil of infidelity, betrayal and debt weighed heav...