Divorce University Online

When to Stop Fighting – Episode 175 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Divorcing people tend to have conversations where each person is advocating their "position". Much of the communication we see involves multiple paragraphs back and forth between the parties. The emotional exhaustion takes it's toll on your entire life. In this episode, we explore what needs to be responded to and what y...

No Means No – Episode 174 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Much of the conflict between co-parents comes from "beating a dead horse" so to speak. We often see people argue back and forth endlessly, whether by email, through a messaging app, or text messages, and repeating their disagreements on an issue. Sometimes you have to agree to disagree in order to have peace. In this episode, we'l...

Jack of All Trades, Master of None – Episode 173 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. It seems daily life is a constant go, go, go and it can be difficult to manage everything that's coming at us. And yet many of us have a hard time saying no and end up overcommitting ourselves. When we add divorce to that equation, it can make us want to crawl into bed and stay there. In this episode, we tal...

Starting Small – Episode 172 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Divorce, like many challenging life events, is overwhelming for most people, especially in the beginning. It changes so many aspects of your life that you don't know where to start putting out all the fires. In this episode, we'll discuss starting small to avoid overwhelm and building on prior action to gain momentum in moving...

Don't Get Too Close to the Edge – Episode 171 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Many couples have parenting differences during their relationship that become more magnified through a divorce or separation. Sometimes parents find themselves worried about their children when the children are in the other parent's care or they do not agree with decisions the other parent makes. This conflict...

What Is a Through Line?  – Episode 170 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Through Line is a term you'll be familiar with if you have acting experience. When someone portrays a character they develop a through-line for the character that helps guide them in predicting how a character will behave in various circumstances. In applying this to our own life, how do we respond in various situatio...

New Beginnings – Episode 169 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Most people that go through a divorce or breakup feel like everything is falling apart. We tend to focus on the loss, the loss of family, the loss of finances, the loss of who we were in that relationship. But life becomes hopeful again when you shift your perspective to the future. With Divorce comes the opportunity for a fres...

What Is A Forensic Expert? – Episode 168 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Divorce comes with all kinds of jargon and terms that most people have never heard of, including "forensic expert". We tend to think of a crime scene when we think of the word forensic but in the Court system, a forensic expert is usually brought in for a financial issue or a custody issue. This person is an "expert...

What Is It Worth? – Episode 167 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. The value of something extends far beyond its financial value. Things often have intangible value to us such as emotional value. A "get all you can" mentality is common in divorce. But sometimes we overlook the cost. If what you are getting outweighs the cost of it, then is it really worth it? From a numbers perspective, tha...

Biggest Divorce Mistakes – Episode 166 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. We often hear from people, wow, I wish I had found you years ago when I was going through my divorce! That comment is usually followed by a story about some big mistake they made that could have been avoided if they had only known it was a problem. So, today, we're going to share the biggest divorce mistakes we see th...

Top Ten Divorce Questions – Episode 165 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Got questions? Today, we have answers. We answer the top ten questions we get about divorce including where to file, who should file first and questions about cost, property division, custody, and support. We'll give you a big-picture overview that will help you get headed in the right direction. For more information...

One More Thing…………. – Episode 164 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. We see this problem in many, many cases. Parties will work very hard to reach an agreement on issues and then one party wants to ask for changes. Asking for a change isn't always a problem but if one change leads to another leads to another……..you might end up blowing the deal. In order to avoid problems, you need to go in...

Affairs – From Each Perspective – Episode 163 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Many relationships break down due to one party having an affair. This issue is very emotional and can cause blockages that keep you from being able to discuss or settle your divorce case. And while the emotions run high for both parties, we tend to focus more on the "wronged" spouse, for obvious reasons. Today,...

Are You Giving Away Your Power? – Episode 162 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Divorce has a way of making anyone feel powerless. Powerless to control your situation, the other person, your kids, etc. We often see people after the divorce or breakup who are unknowingly continuing to give away their power. This comes in many forms such as engaging in conflict with your ex, worrying about w...

Be A Drama Destroyer – Episode 161 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Let's face it, divorce or a breakup often includes ongoing, relentless, crazy-making drama. Conversations that you replay in your head about what you could have said or should have said. You may walk around seething with anger or frustration and your ex's drama ends up robbing you of even more time because you are wasting...

One is the Loneliest Number – Episode 160 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Does it feel like everyone around you is happily married or in a happy relationship? Are you managing the burden of the kids, the finances, the pets, and every other aspect of daily life by yourself? It can be quite lonesome for many people, especially if we're not looking to jump back into the dating pool right aw...

Raising Self-Reliant Children After Divorce  – Episode 159 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Most parents have concerns about how divorce will negatively impact their children. We want to do all we can to set them up for future success. Post-Divorce Parenting plans are a great tool to create self-reliance, resilience, and confidence in children. Again, as adults, we tend to look at the neg...

Are You Seeking Closure? – Episode 158 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Closure is something many people struggle with after the divorce. We want our pound of flesh. We want the other person to understand what they've done. Divorcing parties are often seeking closure through the Court process though they almost never realize that is what they are after. So, how can you get the closure you...

Two Strategies for Winning – Episode 157 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Almost all high-conflict (and expensive!) divorces involve at least one party, and sometimes both, using a "negative strategy". A negative strategy involves tearing the other person down, telling the Court what a horrible person or parent they are, and engaging in all manner of mudslinging. So, how do you beat them...

Understanding the Psychology of Divorce  – Episode 156 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Why is there so much conflict in divorce? If the marriage is over, why can't we just walk away peacefully and leave each other to live our lives? Having conflict is the flip side of the intimacy and connection in a marriage. Not caring would allow us to walk away but because we do care, we have conflic...

How to Embrace Your Inner Awesomeness!  – Episode 155 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. If you are in a co-dependent relationship or perpetually have a victim mentality, then you are not embracing your inner awesomeness. Embracing your inner awesomeness is feeling confident, worthy, and empowered. This is easier said than done when you are going through an inherently negative life experien...

I've Been Served with a Domestic Violence Restraining Order. Now What?  – Episode 154 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Domestic Violence Orders are, unfortunately, a very necessary part of the judicial system. But when you're the one being accused, it can be very stressful, particularly when you feel like the allegations are false. Domestic Violence Orders can impact your ability to see y...

I'm Self-Represented. How Do I Prepare for a Court Hearing?  – Episode 153 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Most people get nervous before Court (Here's a secret: Even attorney's get nervous!) Attorney's often appear very smooth and well-spoken but what we don't see is the hours of preparation that went into that one court hearing. It's hours! And if you don't believe us, just look at you...

Are You Flexing Your Emotional Muscles?  – Episode 152 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Let's face it, when divorce first hits you, you often feeling like crawling in a hole and not coming out. We want to withdraw and shut down. When that happens, we become emotionally weaker and the divorce process requires emotional strength. So, how can we flex our emotional muscles in a way that build...

How to Win in Mediation  – Episode 151 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. In our experience, no one truly wins in divorce. Everyone usually walks away from the process feeling like things were unfair or like they just didn't get the outcome they were wanting.  But the beauty of divorce mediation is that, unlike Court, you can find opportunities to create win-win outcomes. With preparation,...