Divorce University Online

Best Interest of the Child - Episode 200 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Best interest of the child is one of the most misunderstood concepts in family law. The law varies state to state and Thomas, of course, is only licensed in California. But this concept has many commonalities and in this episode, we'll help you understand what Best Interest of the Child is and what it isn't.  For mo...

Listener Questions Answered – Episode 199 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. In this episode, we answer several listener questions. The topics include appearing in Court, financial considerations when determining custody and grandparent rights. We also give a shout out to one special listener. For more information, please visit us at www.divorceuniversityonline.com . Thanks for listening!

But…….I'm Right!  – Episode 198 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. When you know you're right and the other parent is wrong, it can be very hard to disengage from a disagreement. This is true in any relationship whether a marriage or not but it becomes even more of a problem during divorce. Being right can be important, especially if the safety of your children is at risk. But many times, w...

Seashells By The Seashore – Episode 197 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. In this episode, we share a heartwarming story about a father that regularly took his children to hunt for seashells on the beach. For his daughter, these became very fond memories and she even kept her collection of seashells as an adult. But her father had a secret about the adventures that the daughter never learn...

Are You Chasing Sunk Costs? – Episode 196 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Sunk cost is an economic term used to describe costs that in the past and should not be considered in the current financial analysis of a project to help determine whether the project is worth pursuing financially. This theory can be applied to divorce to help you determine whether you should continue fighting or c...

Children Caught In The Middle – Episode 195 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Studies show that conflict between co-parents is one of the things that does the most damage to children post divorce. Sometimes one parent is manipulating or lobbying the kids intentionally and sometimes parents just have difficulty getting past their own emotions or recognizing what is happening. In this episod...

Law Of Attraction – Episode 194 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. In this episode we talk about the Law of Attraction and how it applies in divorce. Have you attracted this crap storm in your life? Or are you being intentional in moving your life forward out of the negative and into the positive? Join us as we discuss how you can use the law of attraction principles to help you turn your d...

Lighting Your Fire – Episode 193 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. In this episode we talk about how to find motivation before, during and after divorce. Many times people know divorce is inevitable but have a hard time motivating themselves to take the first step. Once you're "up to your eyeballs" in divorce it gets even harder to see the long-term picture. So, how do you stay focused and...

Starving the Beast – Episode 192 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. "The Beast" can be any high-conflict personality issue you are dealing with in your ex. Women often feel that their ex's are narcissistic, although some men do as well, and many men we encounter feel that their ex is a "crazy chic" or has borderline personality disorder. Regardless of what type of high-conflict personality...

Child Custody Fears – Episode 191 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Children are often at the center of high-conflict cases. Our minds can run wild with all the different fears, concerns and wondering how to protect our children. And sometimes, the Court doesn't share our concerns. Why is that? And how do we objectively know when our fear is irrational and when it is valid? This topic is a...

Child Support and Verbal Agreements – Episode 190 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Verbal agreements can be a great way to stay out of Court when both parties have the integrity to follow through with their agreements. All too often, we get a call after one party has failed to hold up their end of the bargain and the other party is left wondering how to right the wrong. In this episode, w...

Your Divorce Song – Episode 189 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. In this light-hearted episode we share our own divorce songs and talk about some of our favorites. We'll also share other humorous coping strategies we employed along the way to help us cope with the hurt and anger during our divorces. We'll even pull a few skeletons out of the closet and share a couple of our not so proud m...

Brevity Is Effective – Episode 188 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. In almost every single case we see, the parties say too much! They say too much to each other, in Court, and in their written statements to the Court. It's easy to do because we feel like we have so many important things that need to be said to the Court and our ex. But brevity wins the day and creates the best outcomes b...

Pointless Anger – Episode 187 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Anger can be a helpful emotion, especially in Divorce and Child Custody situations. Anger always covers hurt and can be helpful in keeping us functioning in the midst of great emotional pain. But can your anger become more harmful than helpful and how can you tell if it's reached that point? For more information, please visit...

Legal Strategy vs. Life Strategy – Episode 186 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Divorce puts most people in a state of sheer survival. Your lawyer's job is to assist you in navigating the legal process and to help you get the most favorable results in your case. But what about your life? Sadly, the legal process usually has little consideration of the practical aspects of your day-to-day...

Destroying Your Ex – Episode 185 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. The legal process can leave you feeling like you want to destroy your ex or take them down. Let's face it, we often fantasize about it. And sometimes, the support you have around you, lawyers, coaches, family members, etc. only fan the flames of that fantasy. We're told how to document, how to get the upper hand, how to win...

Child Custody Declarations: Biggest Errors – Episode 184 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Most of our discussions around writing child custody declarations for Court involve how to outline your points and present your concerns to the Court. But today, we'll talk about the biggest errors we see and what not to do when writing declarations. We'll also share examples of some of the common mi...

5 Easy Steps to a Win-Win – Episode 183 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. The first step to finding a win-win is to figure out what is essential, or non-negotiable, for you. Once you decide if an issue is essential or trivial, you know whether it is worth your time and effort to come up with win-win solutions. We'll give you a five-step framework to help you to determine if an issue is ess...

Don't Drink and Post! – Episode 182 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Social media posts are one of the most common exhibits used in family law cases. It's become acceptable to share (sometimes too much) on social media but the rules change when the Court becomes the authority in your case. In this episode, we'll discuss when it's ok to use social media and when it's not and the best way t...

Therefore What? – Episode 181 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Over and over we see people stuck in arguments based on their position. They clearly disagree and yet the continue to set forth their logical arguments for their position. In this situation there are really only two options to stop the insanity. One, is to agree to disagree. Two, is to shift the discussion into a problem-solvi...

Thinking On Your Feet – Episode 180 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Thinking on their feet is something attorney's often have to do in Court and it comes up when we are working with coaching clients, especially if they are self-represented. It's important to understand concepts around Court and co-parenting so that you can apply those concepts in any situation. Otherwise, you prepare wha...

FEAR NOT – Episode 179 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. So many divorcing people are driven by fear. They are often worried, "what if" this happens or "what if" that happens. It can overtake you and cause you to behave in ways the end up creating the very outcome you were trying to avoid. So, how can you stay present focused and ditch the fear? Join us now to find out. For more informatio...

Do Your Actions Match Your Word? – Episode 178 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. In Court, credibility is everything. If your actions do not match what your telling the Court, then you are hurting your credibility. This can have a negative impact on your case even when the "presentation" of your information went well. We'll share some examples in this episode and some tips to help you keep...

Why Isn't My Judge Listening? – Episode 177 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Going to Court is almost always a difficult experience emotionally. But, if you also leave feeling like the Judge didn't listen to you, you are not alone. In this episode, we'll talk about how to get inside the Judge's head and understand what they are looking for. We'll also give you helpful tips for presenting...

How Can I Protect Myself? – Episode 176 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. When clients ask how they can protect themselves, they are usually referring to the other parent. We often feel stress and anxiety in dealing with our ex. It's common to feel like they are playing "gotcha" and even if they have an attorney, we may feel like the attorney is playing "gotcha" on their behalf. Join us as...