Dive Bar Astrology

WELCOME BACK! It's been five years since the last episode, and a lot has changed — Jess is now a certified and diploma-holding psychological astrologer with a full-time practice, and there's a brand new co-host in the mix: archetypal astrologer Kate Kettelkamp of Kronos Astrology. In this episode we introduce ourselves and cover Leo Season, Mercury Retrograde, recent major outer planet ingresses,...

Huge news: I'm now offering natal chart readings! You can book one HERE . Listen for more details, including how you can win a free reading, + a fascinating interview with data scientist Alex Boxer , author of A Scheme of Heaven: The History of Astrology and the Search for Our Destiny in Data. Purchase his book HERE . ✑ EXPLORE THE DARK. Website  /  Instagram  /  Twitter Become an Inkblot Book a R...

More Taurus earthiness, immortality, Ashton Kutcher + Mila Kunis and their Quarantine Pinot Noir , and a discussion on wine with veteran sommelier Zoe Wilkins .  ✑ EXPLORE THE DARK. Website  /  Instagram  /  Twitter Become an Inkblot Astrology contributions at Hooligan Magazine

Taurus season, societal shifts, Chris Crocker, We Are The Union , and a discussion on the recent rise of OnlyFans sex work with OnlyFans content creator Blake. ✑ EXPLORE THE DARK. Website  /  Instagram  /  Twitter Become an Inkblot Astrology contributions at Hooligan Magazine

Aries season, our personal and collective nemeses, Becky Lynch, Ratboys , and a discussion on the world of professional wrestling with wrestler, musician, and cohost of Grap Grrrlz podcast Shahnaz Zarif . ✑ EXPLORE THE DARK. Website  /  Instagram  /  Twitter Become an Inkblot Astrology contributions at Hooligan Magazine

All bets are off. Join me for some quarantine stress relief. ✑ EXPLORE THE DARK. Website  /  Instagram  /  Twitter Become an Inkblot Astrology contributions at Hooligan Magazine

Saturn moving into Aquarius, a mini forecast, and Mulan. ✑ EXPLORE THE DARK. Website  /  Instagram  /  Twitter Become an Inkblot Astrology contributions at Hooligan Magazine

Mercury Retrograde, Pisces season, a mini forecast, Kaina , and a discussion on the names of the planets with etymological investigation enthusiast Helen Zaltzman .  ✑ EXPLORE THE DARK. Website  /  Instagram  /  Twitter Become an Inkblot Astrology contributions at Hooligan Magazine

Valentine's Day, Cupid, J. Lo + Shakira's halftime show, the Grammy's, the Iowa Caucus, the Impeachment Trial, and a sign compatibility segment with Jenny Owen Youngs . ✑ EXPLORE THE DARK. Website  /  Instagram  /  Twitter Become an Inkblot Read Jess' astrology contributions at  Hooligan Magazine

Uranus, the 2020 U.S. Primary election, Aquarius season, Slow Pulp , and an interview with Democratic strategist Ryan O'Donnell. Click here for the 2020 Primary election dates by state. ✑ EXPLORE THE DARK. Website  /  Instagram  /  Twitter Become an Inkblot Read Jess' astrology contributions at  Hooligan Magazine

Mars, the New Year, astrology memes, Adam Sandler, Capricorn season, Big Thief , and an interview with Courtney Perkins of @notallgeminis .  ✑ EXPLORE THE DARK. Website / Instagram / Twitter Become an Inkblot Read Jess' astrology contributions at Hooligan Magazine

Happy New Year! This week we bid Chris adieu in his final episode, discuss Astrology Apps: which to take into the New Year and which to leave in dusty 2019, plus an Astro Probe with music journalist Dan Ozzi . Stay tuned for an all new show in 2020. Explore the dark, at InkblotAstrology.com This week's advice:  1. How do I stop being reclusive and start dating again? 2. My partner and I both have...

HAPPY HOLIDAYS! This week we celebrate with a special episode on the Harry Potter Houses. We sort the 4 elements, 12 signs, and ourselves, with guest host  Hrishikesh Hirway of podcasts Song Exploder + West Wing Weekly and musical projects The One A.M. Radio + Moors. This week's advice:  1. My family is moving away, should I stay where I am or move with them? 2. My partner doesn't like to do much;...

This week we bore Chris with the Aspects, wind down the educational content of the pod, talk wrestling, money spending, Chris vows to stop talking about s*x, plus an Astro Probe with musician  Shamir . This week's advice:  1. What advice would you give to the WWE to be a more entertaining show? 2. What would you do with $100 mil and how does that relate to your natal chart? 3. How would you group...

This week we talk about the Lunar Nodes, the ecliptic, the Russian whale jail, several ninja turtles, + more, plus an Astro Probe with musician and cartoonist Tommy Siegel of bands Jukebox the Ghost and Narc Twain . This week's advice:  1. A lot of my chart is earth and air but lately I've been crying a lot, why is that? 2. I found out I was the side chick for year so we broke up and have a rocky...

This week we talk about the 12 houses, Howard Sasportas, why the 13th sign is fake news, a barfing dog, dunk tanks, + more, plus an Astro Probe with Frankie of NY based band Macseal . This week's advice:  1. My crush shot me down and it hurts being friends, how do I let go? 2. How can I make my Cancer s/o feel loved and appreciated?  3. My s/o wants us to have a threesome with her coworker but I d...

HaPpY ThAnKsGiViNg!!! In this ep we all go to Hooters for Friendsgiving with Chris' beautiful wife Cassie Farren, where we examine Chris and Cassie's charts using what we've learned so far. This week's advice:  1. How can I remedy my blunt Capricorn lack of filter when I'm depressed? 2. How do twins work within astrology? 3. I've become so used to living in chaos that sometimes I create it on my o...

This week we discuss Pluto and why it's no longer a planet, Disney freaks, A Goofy Movie, RIP Walter Mercado, the first bands Chris and Jess were in, that Calvin Klein lesbian poster, + more, featuring an Astro Probe with bbweems , the new solo project of Abby Weems from  Potty Mouth . This week's advice:  1. Are astrology tattoos tacky? 2. My band asked me to switch instruments, are they trying t...

This week we discuss Neptune, the current Mercury Retrograde, the unfortunate way in which bears hibernate, Chris' new 55" tv, + more, featuring an Astro Probe with Kevin Devine . This week's advice:  1. How can I make my partner more comfortable with having sex more often? 2. My partner is usually earthy and grounded while I am watery and ungrounded, but now they're going through a hard time and...

Your astro hosts enjoy a candle lit dinner at the local Red Lobster. We review the 12 signs, compare them to Red Lobster menu items, and catch up w Chris on where he's at w astrology. This week's advice:  1. What are your craziest schemes on how to get my first kiss? 2. Does astrology apply to dogs? 3. What are your tips for getting over a bad breakup? Website  /  Instagram  /  Twitter Become an I...

ITS A HALLOWEEN EP. We watched all 3 Screams and talked about the characters as sign/planet archetypes, our Halloween costumes, Pixar depression, 90s lesbian fashion, Mojo Jojo, astrology apps, + more, featuring an Astro Probe with Mike Kinsella of American Football  +  Owen . This week's advice:  1. What's the $30 astrology app y'all talk about? 2. I keep having bad luck and my daily horoscopes k...

In our sweet 16 ep we review Saturn, discuss the outer planets, get deep inside Uranus, Dwayne "the Rock" Johnson, The Parent Trap, Jeff Foxworthy, Ben Franklin, the Purge, + more, featuring an Astro Probe with Jaclyn O'Connell of Philly-based company Bittersweet Media . This week's advice:  1. Do people with conflicting signs in their chart tend to be more stressed or tense? 2. Any advice on how...

This week we talk about Saturn, Amanda Bynes' vagina, the college admissions scandal, Beauty & the Beast, 50 Shades of Chris, + more, featuring an Astro Probe with Evan Weiss of Chicago-based band Into It. Over It. This week's advice:  1. How do I move past the feeling of being incapable and inferior? 2. How do I stop being jealous in relationships? 3. I feel like I'm doing everything right but I...

CHRIS IS HOME FROM TOUR. This week we talk about the four Elements, pool jet orgasms, Rain-X, Jessica Rabbit, Chris' hypothetical murder podcast, + more, featuring an Astro Probe with Hrishikesh Hirway of podcasts Song Exploder + West Wing Weekly and of musical projects The One A.M. Radio + Moors. This week's advice:  1. I'm 16 and stressed that I won't be motivated to work hard when I get older,...

Another advice marathon 4 u. Regular episodes return NEXT WEEK. This week's advice:  1. I was born early, does this impact my sun sign? 2. I'm frustrated with my own emotions, how can I nurture my moon? 3. My bf just moved away, how can I make my LDR work? 4. Does astrology influence your impressions of people? 5. How can I find balance in my work and creative life? 6. My antidepressants make it h...