Disney Dunces

I’d summarize what happened in this episode, but I just can't remember... Look, if Pixar can phone it in with this carp then so can I.  It’s got elements of a story to be sure, Disney’s Pixar’s Finding Dory!

Now you’re probably wondering if this is even a movie podcast anymore. But I think if you really stop and think about it, I bet you’d realize it was never one to begin with. And maybe, just maybe, the real movie was the friends we made along the way... It’s the artsiest kids movie you’ll ever see, Disney’s 20th Century Fox’s Wes Anderson’s Fantastic Mr. Fox!

Hello, and welcome to the inaugural episode of "Let’s Taco ‘bout It". The only Taco Bell podcast hosted by self proclaimed experts. This week we bring a little life hack to the dinner table to really crank up that cravings box, followed by a deep dive into the origins to everyone's favorite “cinful” side. It’s not really worth talking about, LEGO Star Wars Summer Vacation!

We did it, boys! This has to be the most controversial episode that these boys have ever released bar none. But of course what else could you expect from the topic of Disney’s most controversial film since “Song of the South?” It’s funny though, I don’t even think they talked about that quarter of a second peck on the lips shared by two middle aged women that got the film banned in 14 countries… w...

You ever want to make an animated series based off of your super popular movie property but needed a way to shoehorn the voice stylings of the late Gilbert Gottfried and Jason Alexander out of fear that your venture would fail without that much needed star power, so you sit down and scribble a plot line in the course of at most three hours to showcase a redemption arc for your past villain and int...

Hey, did you know that Benjamin Franklin was a known grave robber? It’s true. You should look up that letter where he eloquently lists the reasons why old women are far more superior sexually to their younger counterparts. It boils down to them having to try harder because they are no longer beautiful, are super grateful for it, and don’t worry about how they look because “as in the dark all cats...

Choo choo! All aboard the idiot train for a one way trip to the truth! That's right you fur faced imbeciles, at long last the true identity of James “The Baby Yoda” Webb is finally revealed. So put on your pink tank top and get out those big meaty claws for an answer that’s sure to leave you sufficiently whelmed. It’s the episode three years in the making, Beauty and the Beast!

No, no solo coloqué un texto en un traductor y terminé con esta descripción. USTED dejó caer esta descripción en un traductor y ahora es un desastre porque no puede leer español. El perezoso eres tú, no yo. Es la historia de la menstruación para latinoamérica,The Three Caballeros!

When I can’t remember what actually happens in one of these episodes, I take a quick peek into the Disney Dunces group chat to help refresh my memory for these summaries. This week it was just pictures of sexy turtle women, the Baby Yoda, and also one of them might be LGBTQIA2S+... I guess? I’m sure it all makes sense in context. It’s mainly an excuse to see more Aunt Cass, Baymax!!

Why say gay… when you can sing it! That’s right boys and girls and tikes - much like racism, taking pride in who you are is a year long activity and will not be confined to a single month just because THE MAN/WOMAN/PERSONS said so. Also don’t worry, I’d wager the Dunces haven’t been allowed near any school zone for some time now. It’s where Diana Ross got her start, Trevor: The Musical!

Hey, don't blame me! SCOTUS made us carry this episode to term to the displeasure of everyone involved. So I guess you’ll just have to learn to live with our mistake, ya? It’s not as bad as all that, but still pretty bad, Johnny Tsunami!

So it's Andy’s birthday… and the rest is history. Let’s face it, you know this story like the back of Benjamin “Buzz” Lightyear’s hand, but if you really feel the need for a refresher, the boys are here for you. Who knows, maybe you’ll learn something you failed to pick up on your first thirty viewings, but probably not. It’s a post-apocalyptic tale for the whole family, Toy Story!

Do you hear me calling, out your name? Lamblala somethin' somethin' la blah dah dah ah. Oooooooooooooooooooooooooo IIIIIIIIIIII, I want to be with you everywhere! Alright, now read every once in a while for the next hour or so, and you're good. It’s a sequel to someone, Hollywood Stargirl!

Holy cow! Not just one, but two special guest appearances in this week’s episode. Talk about going the distance! Oh, and for those worrying that they’ll have nothing left to look forward to after experiencing this godlike chapter of the Dunces mythos, I’ll see to it personally that Mr. Goldthwait returns when the boys eventually cover Randy Cunningham: 9th Grade Ninja. It’s related to Noah’s ark…...

Sometimes, some crimes go slippin’ through the cracks. Other times, people feel the need to record their crimes and post it all over the internet for the world to see and hear. Bet you can’t guess which time this is! It’s the second, third, or maybe even fourth, most ambitious crossover in DPOM history, Chip ‘n Dale: Rescue Rangers!

Picture Cinderella. Okay, now picture it with black people. There you go. It's Cinderella but with black people, Sneakerella!

Alright, so Marvel already had all these Asgardians running around, and now they’ve introduced Ra, Anubis, and all their friends into this wacky world. But I’m sitting here like, "hey, where’s The Last Supper crew? Are the beliefs forced upon me at a tender age not valid, or did Jack Kirby create Jesus and his Amazing Apostles but Stan Lee just forgot to take credit?" Anyway that’s all I got, whic...

Now I know what you’re thinking, “Race relations, again?!” But we here at the Disney Dunces feel that discrimination should be addressed and eradicated all year round, instead of just one month out of the year. And we will not rest until the entire world is full of horrible racists. Also, that bunny do be packin’ those slacks tho’. It’s like every character passes the Harkness Test by design, Disn...

Imagine your parents went to the Louvre and picked up one of the guided tour tapes because they wanted to share that experience with you. However, on the plane ride back, they realize they’ve lost it and ask the man next to them if he wouldn’t mind recording his thoughts on the art so that they have SOMETHING to give you. And to his credit, he certainly tries his best, seeing as he thinks he’s pro...

Rather than the usual, “here's a plot and follow along with us” format that you’ve come to know and love, this week the boys are covering one of, if not the most, influential stories of all time and examining its impact on every piece of media you’ve ever consumed. It’s highly recommended that you actually watch today's topic beforehand for the optimal listening experience - luckily for you though...

Oh hello, I didn’t see you there. Welcome to yet another Disney Dunces Holiday Spectacular! Which is to be expected when major companies fart out content to constantly remind us the reason for the season in order to make a quick buck. Regardless, be sure to listen to this one before April 18th, because after that it reverts to a normal everyday episode. It’s Miracle on 34th Street for the next gen...

Listen up maggots, because it's time for a pop quiz! What exactly makes Hilary Duff the Goku of this film? Who makes the Iceman cometh? Which Dunce is definitely going to prison after this one? If you don’t know the answers, be grateful that this quiz is open-podcast. Military school is back in session and hamboning is on the menu! It’s the Disney Channel Original Movie, Cadet Kelly!

56:23, you’re welcome. It’s bad enough to make you think, “hey, maybe all lives do matter,” Disney’s Cheaper by the Dozen!

Uh oh, looks like it’s that time of the month again! Which is to say, time to listen to your favorite boys to talk about the complex journey that is becoming a woman. I’ll be real though, I couldn’t actually listen to this week’s episode because they took all the boys from my class and made us listen to a different podcast, but I’m sure it's very informative. It’s the long awaited "The Story of Me...

Time to rise and grind, gamers! ...no, even as a bit, I just can’t do it. It just sucks so much. So uh, anyone check out the demo for the new Kirby game? You get to explore the ruins of a post-apocalyptic cityscape and Kirby drives a car with his mouth. It’s kind of wild. I guess it also implies that the human race has died off potentially, but that wouldn’t be the first time that's happened in a...