Disney Dunces

Listen up maggots, because it's time for a pop quiz! What exactly makes Hilary Duff the Goku of this film? Who makes the Iceman cometh? Which Dunce is definitely going to prison after this one? If you don’t know the answers, be grateful that this quiz is open-podcast. Military school is back in session and hamboning is on the menu! It’s the Disney Channel Original Movie, Cadet Kelly!

Later idiots!

Ладно, да, наверное, это обман, когда я просто перевожу это описание на другой язык, когда серия слишком непонятна. А если серьезно, они только что сделали E.T. Инопланетянин, но поменял местами монстров и добавил сюжет о том, как Патрик Стар трахает мать ребенка. Это менее увлекательно, чем российская заправка Disney’s Under Wraps!

You think Pixar made a world of justified racism just to appease the “Don’t Say Gay” crowd? Naaaaah. Well, maybe. It’s someone's wet dream that’s for sure. Disney’s Pixar’s Elemental.

If you've ever thought to yourself, "Boy, I could sure use a Disney podcast with a splash of pirate anime and a whole mess of discussion that borders on homoeroticism," then son, do I have the episode for you. If you'd rather learn about the film in the title, I don't know, try googling it? It's one big lie, and you know it: Disney's 20th Century Fox's 'The Greatest Showman!'

Ruh roh, Raggy! Looks like this podcast has been shanghai’d by a group of salty sea dogs who want nothing to do with this week's movie! Which is to say, spoiler warning for the first 30 episodes of One Piece! Sure it’s less than 3% of the show so far and came out 15 years ago, but still, rules are rules. It’s not offensive to say shanghai’d is it? It's Disney’s Direct to DVD, The Lion King 1 ½!

So if I remember correctly this episode's talking points include the podcast's expiration date, the importance of resistance training, and Kashi has a cereal that makes you poop. Oh, and probably the dangers of being horny given the source material, but also probably not. It’s fun for the whole family, Disney’s The Hunchback of Notre Dame!

You know it’s hard to discuss a film that's just packed with so much subtle symbolism. It’s just one of those things you should probably see for yourself as trying to describe the full experience is near impossible. So this week go watch the movie, and then come back and listen to people yell about Twitter and call it a day. It’s got a lynching scene some would argue, Holes!

가장 좋은 점은 내가 원하는 대로 입력할 수 있다는 것입니다. 모든 것을 한국어로 조금씩 번역할 것이기 때문입니다. Google 번역을 다시 시도하기 전까지는 조금 더 이해가 됩니다. 그 개자식은 정말 스탠리라고 했지? 털복숭이, 여우, 사냥개를 위한 우정의 색입니다!

¡Oigan primos! Join the Dunces as they take a deep dive into what might just be Latin America’s most inspirational story. To decide once and for all if lowly janitor Richard Montañez single handedly saved Frito-Lays from the brink of collapse by channeling his Mexican heritage and disrupting the food industry, or if he just sorta said he did and everyone kind of murmured about it for like 30 years...

Oh brother, this episode is unbearable. Actually, that's probably not true, but no one can seem to remember anything before Sean/Shawn/Shan. So yeah, maybe it is, I don’t know. It’s Phil Collins pride and joy, Brother Bear!

Have you ever sat there and wondered how a bill becomes a law, but for movies? Well, you’re in luck because this week the Dunces demonstrate the process of transforming artistic vision into huge profits beloved by the mass majority, live! It’s a textbook example of something I swear, Disney’s Enchanted!

A long time ago in a galaxy... wait do we do that stupid intro for all of Star Wars or just the movies? I’m gonna go check real fast hold on. Uh, no, that's just the movies, I can type whatever I want here I guess.. well shoot. Um, "KIDNAPPING", alright perfect, print it. It’s another anthology series, Star Wars : Visions Volume 2!

If it helps, think of the first hour the entry fee to listen to the last 10 minutes. The last 10 minutes aren't good or anything, it's just more interesting as long as you're a fan of Grown Ups. It's the movie based on the book based on a different book, Disney's Treasure Planet!

Anyone happen to know the statute of limitations on child neglect? No reason, just curious. It's not like the Dunces cracked one of America’s most notorious cold cases that has been literally plaguing the world’s hearts and minds for well over a decade or anything. Just your normal average everyday episode here full of jokes and well-thought out and rehearsed movie summaries. It’s time to call CPS...

On a scale of 1 to 10, how straight are you? Sorry sorry, you probably need context for that question to make any sense. Well you see, this is a podcast where three fellas have a candid discussion about a Disney film they’ve recently seen. Now, this episode features a film all about a family of explorers who find themselves in a peculiar environment after they leave in search of answers to a probl...

Listen up maggots, because it's time for a pop quiz! What exactly makes Hilary Duff the Goku of this film? Who makes the Iceman cometh? Which Dunce is definitely going to prison after this one? If you don’t know the answers, be grateful that this quiz is open-podcast. Military school is back in session and hamboning is on the menu! It’s the Disney Channel Original Movie, Cadet Kelly!

With another holiday season down the drain, we learn once again that maybe, just maybe, beloved made for TV movies without any actual vision or story to tell that can’t bother to get the original actors should probably just stop at the second one instead of wasting everyone's time. Oh well, at least we all got to share a moment with Cher, and I think that's pretty cool. It’s certainly the fourth o...

Look, it’s been four years of Disney Dunces Scared Stupid Spooktaculars, so you know what happens during the grand finales at this point. The boys sit down, watch a movie that doesn’t thematically fit, talk a bunch about bears, and top it off with a quality of life check on Ben Stein. Same as the year before, same as the year before that, and so on and so forth. It’s scarier to think about watchin...

In this very special episode of the Disney Dunces you, yes YOU, get to root for whichever Dunce you’d like! How is that different from any other piece of media out there? I don’t really know, but I’m told people really like that sort of thing, and at the end of the day, it’s all just a numbers game baby! It’s just the right amount of comic book nonsense, Disney’s Marvel’s Werewolf by Night!

Beyond the reach of cellphones and super highways, there's a place called Perfect. In a town called Perfect, the only crime is not having ice cream on your pie. Elevator music isn't the usual. Carpets never stain. Every picture turns out. And prime time refers to something other than TV. A town where everyone gives 110%, even when tipping. Here, windows are self-cleaning. And even though life neve...

What better way of kicking off the season of screams than confronting yourselves with the fact that mothers are people too? An idea that just begs the question, “would you like fries with that?” It’s the Disney Dunces Scared Stupid Spectacular Season 4 premier, Mom’s Got a Date with a Vampire!

During the episode, the bird was given the benefit of the doubt, and I let the bird slide. Turns out, the bird wasn’t in the book. They just sloppily threw in a talking bird to tell the characters where to go when convenient, because they thought it was so unbelievable that Gipetto would go look for his wooden son of his own accord. Fuck this movie. It’s just Disney checking a box so don't waste y...

You guys remember when Larry the Cable Guy snapped a man’s arm in half? I feel like it was probably covered in the original Cars episode, but I really just wanted to make sure people know about it. Pretty sure you can just look it up on Youtube if you want. Like don’t get me wrong, he obviously didn’t mean to, Larry the Cable Guy isn’t a monster. Much like this series, these things just happen, an...

Feet fans rejoice, for this fetish-filled fable’s for you! And for all of you who only like feet as a friend, don’t you worry your pretty little heads, as we have the normal levels of  gummy talk you come to expect, followed by a PSA on the dangers of vapes that is sure to give truth a run for its money. It’s sure to fill that cricket-sized hole in your heart, Disney’s Pinocchio!