Discovering Our Scars

Steph and Beth are joined by Rev. Betsy Ouellette Zierden for an honest conversation about how we tend to hold onto ideas that we know don’t work. Sometimes we have ideas about the Bible, God, our family of origin, or even ourselves that help us for a time, but then get in our way. Steph had to let go of her ideas about the importance of job security in order to leave her job at Apple and launch h...

Life is a mixture of the good and bad. Sometimes the tough experiences leave scars—physical and emotional—but those experiences also form who we are. Scars are reminders of the hard moments and tough experiences, but they also prove that we are capable of healing. Steph and Beth have an honest conversation about their scars and the gratitude they feel for the healing those scars represent, both ph...

A conspiracy theory used to mean an idea that was completely on the fringe, but today it seems there are a growing number of conspiracy theories and an increasing number of people willing to take them at face value. To explore this phenomenon, Steph and Beth go inside their own experiences with conspiracy theories. For many years, Steph believed the moon landing was a hoax. Similarly, when Beth’s...

In Steph’s work as a DIY’er on YouTube she often gets comments telling her to get back in the kitchen. The title Episode 57 comes straight from one of those comments. Steph and Beth have an honest conversation about what’s at the heart of these comments and why they aren’t okay. Do the men who make these comments realize how insecure it makes them sound? Do they realize how demeaning it is to sugg...

In these highly polarized times, can people with completely different political views have an honest conversation? Is there value in this kind of conversation? Steph and Beth invite Steph’s friend Daniel back to the podcast. He’s a conservative with well-researched and strongly-held opinions who was willing to give it a try. They talk about some tools that are helpful when engaging with people who...

Sometimes we just have to say it: life is a lot right now. From COVID-19 to the upcoming election, our relationships are strained, our nerves are fried, and our personal emotional reserves are nearly depleted. Differing political viewpoints and differing ideas about public health have always existed, so what is it about this particular season that makes it feel heavier? In this episode, Steph shar...

We each have different hats we wear at work and at home, but do we also wear masks that hide who we truly are? Are there times when it is healthy and appropriate to hide our feelings? Steph and Beth have an honest conversation wearing masks and why it’s important not to wear a mask so long you lose track of who you are. Steph asks if we can safely put on the mask for the person we want to be (like...

Money is something that is essential and yet it’s one of those things we are taught not to talk about. In fact, culture says it’s downright rude to discuss money. The reality is many of us are carrying around money scars. Steph and Beth both share honestly about the money messages communicated to them as they were growing up. Beth gently teases Steph about Steph’s excellent credit score, and share...

Steph and Beth have an honest conversation about dreaming big and being ready for your dreams to come true. They talk about whether there is a difference between an idea, a goal, and a dream. They also address the reality that we sometimes let other people discourage our dreams. Steph and Beth both share about dreams that have come true and some that are still in the “maybe” phase. They offer Ques...

For the first time ever, Steph and Beth host two special guests at the same time, twin sisters Pam Bates and Paula Patty. Steph and Beth ask all the questions you’ve ever wanted to ask twins, but were afraid to ask. Do they sometimes feel each other’s pain? Do they have the same likes and dislikes? Pam and Paula have just released their first book, The Most Amazing Harvest: The Man Behind the Stor...

Show hosts, Stephanie Kostopoulos and Beth Demme, share their experience with forgiveness. They talk about why there are times it is more powerful to forgive and remember than it is to forgive and forget. Also, we sometimes think of forgiveness as a response to an apology, but Steph and Beth have discovered that forgiveness isn’t necessarily tied to an apology. In fact, they’ve discovered that for...

Steph and Beth have an honest conversation about silence. They reflect on why it’s important to have silence, but why it can be hard to come by. Steph loves to be in the quiet of the woods, but Beth tends to be a verbal processor who’s never really in silence because of a condition called Tinnitus. They also talk about why we tend to avoid silence. Is it because it seems heavy (like a moment of si...

Steph and Beth have an honest conversation about the difference between empathy and pity. Why do we feel sorry for people, and how do we communicate those feelings? How can we communicate empathy in a way that builds relationships instead of cutting off communication? Steph and Beth reflect on how it has felt to receive pity from other people and how that has informed the way they communicate to o...

In Episode 47, Steph and Beth are joined by special guest, Daniel Kuykendall. Steph and Daniel worked together at Apple about a decade ago and they’ve been friends ever since. Daniel is a commercial photographer and videographer, but he’s a guest on this episode to talk about something much more personal—his life as a Type 1 Diabetic. This is an honest conversation about the emotional and financia...

In Episode 46, Steph and Beth have an honest conversation about what it’s like to lose someone during a pandemic. There has been a lot of attention on COVID deaths—rightly so—but how has COVID changed our grieving process even when COVID is not the cause of death? Steph shares stories about her grandmother who passed away (not from COVID) on the morning this episode was recorded. Beth talks about...

In Episode 45, Steph and Beth talk about the #MeToo movement and some of their #MeToo moments. They explore when the movement started and how they became aware of it. They have a healthy discussion about what they each think the phrase “sexual harassment” means (or doesn’t). Steph shares about being at an industry event and being touched inappropriately by an executive. Beth shares how memories of...

In Episode 44, Steph and Beth have an honest conversation about the pain of invisible emotional scars. If we break a bone, it gets set in a cast and no one doubts our pain. No one can see our emotional scars, but they manifest in a variety of ways. The cast tells the world we need to heal, but there’s nothing to signal our need for emotional healing—or is there? Steph and Beth talk about reacting...

In Episode 43, Steph and Beth are joined by Jamie Kocur, author of My CCM Soundtracked Life: How I Became Disillusioned With the Music That Once Captivated Me . Jamie grew up a church-goer, but in her teens she became the kind of Christian who listened to only CCM (Contemporary Christian Music) and minimized her exposure to secular influences. She says she was “quietly judgmental” during that time...

In Episode 42, Steph and Beth have an honest conversation about Beth’s first career choice—lawyer. It seems like people love to hate lawyers, until they need one. They talk about everything from OJ Simpson to Casey Anthony to downloading a will from the internet (Spoiler Alert: Don’t Do That!). Are lawyers all in it just for the money, or is there something else driving them? Why did Beth choose t...

In Episode 41, Steph and Beth explore the art of asking for what you want. You have to know what you want in order to ask for it. Voice assistants like Siri, and Alexa (Steph and Beth’s favorite!) can only respond to a command when it is clearly stated. This translates into our human interactions, too. Whether you are dealing with a boss, a co-worker, a vendor, or even a sub-contractor on a home i...

In Episode 40, Steph shares how working for Disney took ten years off her life. She initially worked at a show, but when she was chosen to be a cast member for a ride, everything changed. The stakes were much higher. Guest safety meant that there were times when Steph had to literally make a life and death decision in a split-second. Disney fans will love to hear what it’s like behind the magic. B...

In Episode 39, Steph and Beth reflect on what they have learned so far from the Black Lives Matter Movement. They both recognize that, as white women, they have a lot to learn and that refusing to learn allows racism to continue unchallenged. Steph and Beth have an honest conversation about Juneteenth, Defund the Police, White Fragility, the effects of “Law and Order” government, and more. They al...

In Episode 38, Beth’s 16-year-old daughter joins Steph and Beth for an honest conversation about something that half the world’s population will deal with at some point—periods. Despite Beth’s reluctance, they tackle this from the perspective of three women in three different generations (Gen X, Millennial, and Gen Z). From Are You There God, It’s Me Margaret? to birth control pills, body shame, a...

In Episode 37, Steph and Beth celebrate Beth’s Seminary graduation by talking about gender and calling. They share their experiences as women in male-dominated fields and how they handle internet trolls. They also have an honest conversation about the fact that some denominations do not allow women to preach and teach. Why is Beth a pastor even though the Bible says at 1 Timothy 2:12 that women ca...

In Episode 36, Steph and Beth have an honest conversation about non-suicidal self-injury (NSSI). This is one of many unhealthy coping mechanisms people deal with, and it is one Steph has personal experience with. Steph shares how it feels when abuse causes a disconnect between brain and heart and why that sometimes leads to self-injury. This is an honest, and vulnerable, conversation about how and...