Dice Paper Role: A DnD 5e Podcast

What makes a move worthy of becoming a signature? DPR canvasses three experts to get to the bottom of this once and for all. Sully Qeem (Social Drinking Influencer), Peerson Scumbidge (Back Alley Knife Handler), and Ms Badger McFace (actual badger), answer these age old questions: What's the perfect style to substance ratio? How much hamstring damage is too much? What time is lunch? Our second hou...

DPR will be broadcasting an hour of silence this week in memory of a fallen colleague. Jerry Softnoggin, our intrepid reporter from the FaceMeat tribe was our man on the ground for all your favorite jungle stories. Listen to some of his most popular episodes like: Berry in Season, and 10 Ways to Cook a Face, then sit in silence for an hour and wallow in our self pity. This Monday at 8. Artwork and...

Soft of step, this cunning beast is perfectly adapted to its jungle habitat. It speeds through the undergrowth, eyes forward, unerringly dashing amongst the great boles of the ancient trees. DPR brings you a close up of this mysterious, rarely seen beast. The elusive jungle donkey. Artwork and Credits: http://www.dicepaperrole.com/podcast/book-ii-chapter-3-troubles-with-lycanthropy/

Possible future forecasts indicate meteor showers with a high chance of firestorm. The likelyhood of burnt grasslands and temperate forests means less grazing land for vital food stocks. This weather update was brought to you by Shlock Shlammer's Hay and Feed stockists - we'll get you through droughts, floods, and the apocalypse. Artwork and Credits: http://www.dicepaperrole.com/podcast/book-ii-ch...

This prequel of sorts is a romp through the magical world that made the original series so celebrated, but without the favourite characters we all knew and loved. Despite a slimy performance by Jimmy Pepp as the titular villain, the story chugs along like an overloaded, square wheeled mule cart. 3 out of 5 well greased villains.   Artwork and Credits: http://www.dicepaperrole.com/podcast/book-ii-c...

Variety had always been a positive person. She said it herself and she said it quite frequently. Everyone knew that Variety had had her share of opportunities to practice positivity. Her’s was the story skated over in public, but devoured in private and at special occasions. A tale told to children by misguided parents to teach them the dangers of men. In spite of all this Variety was a positive p...

ATTACK ON GREYMEAD! The release of noxious gas from a nefarious canister has turned 3 dock workers, 2 couriers, and a Pomeranian into murderous spiked devils. Investigators discovered the canister near Belfinky dock with a name tag still attached. It read: Property of Bruce T Milkman. When asked if Mr. Milkman had been arrested, Chief Inspector Ronald Binskin said “We asked Bruce, but he said he d...

Bart Mulwimple was a simple goat herder. His goat meat was prized throughout Greymead for its flavour and tenderness, but each season he was left with a surplus of hides. Frustrated by the waste he set about finding a new way to use this versatile material. After years of searching for the right purpose he was inspired when the morning sun shone directly through his window into his remaining good...

When you’re stranded and broke and need to get home, who can you trust? 9/10 Doctors agree it’s the bus you took on your first solo trip, the same bus you trusted when you moved to college and the bus you trusted to bring you back home again every summer. It’s the bus powered by a steaming pack of eighteen dogs.... It’s Greyhound.   Artwork and Credits: http://www.dicepaperrole.com/podcast/episode...

Torus: The next few days will be influenced by the proximity of the moons. Things might take a turn for the worse before they get better. Remember to be true to yourself and stand by your friends. Beware moments of greed. Treasure may not be as shiny as you first think. You may feel an unbidden craving for doughnuts. Go for it. What could possibly go wrong? Artwork and Credits: http://www.dicepape...

Gwendoline looked intensely at Pietor. They both knew what this meant. Pietor steadied himself, suddenly aware of each second that ticked on the timepiece on Gwendoline’s wrist. Oh Gwendoline’s wrists. He could write odes to her wrists, ballads to her fingers, and limericks to her knuckles. But this sudden flight of longing cost Pietor dearly, as Gwendoline pinned his thumb and won the championshi...

There is a place that you can go, when life is tough and you’re feeling low. A place where troubles disappear, a place for friends; a place for beer. If you’re having a day where you question it all... then come on down to the hidey hole. Thursday is adults only chicken dipper night (now in two flavours!), kids eat free. Artwork and Credits: http://www.dicepaperrole.com/podcast/episode-41-helms-hi...

Dinner Plan Review. This exciting new show explores your dinner plans and rates them against your peers, colleagues, friends and family. Hear the Jones family's profound love of ankheg meat as they chomp down on deep fried legs with creme fraiche. Noisily. Next to the microphone. Brutal and sloppy? Yes. Delish? You be the judge. Vote #dprdinnerplanreview for your chance to win a gaping wound. Artw...

Acclaimed documentarian and activist Borghum Freesnail narrates a tale of survival against the odds. Borghum, 85, slides his way across the continent following in the snail tracks of the near extinct Mighty Eastern greysnails as they migrate north for the spring. Borghum is all charisma in what may be his final project. This is ‘The Slime of the ancient narrator.’ Artwork and Credits: http://www.d...

Ringer Pullos is a brash and gregarious woman. She sweeps into the room and grasps my hand in a firm and yet welcoming handshake. Her eyes sparkle with intelligence and laughter, as we sit down to chat and I feel as though I am the one being interviewed. We talk about her meteoric rise through the cannery trade, and find out about her newest invention, set to take the can world by storm. The magne...

This week on DPR we interview polar explorer and CS Lewis fanatic Burnish Buckletoon as he prepares for his 14th expedition to the Deep South. We ask all the big questions: how cold it was? How are the Pengloids and Solar Bears? And what about the Christian parallels present throughout the Narnia books? Burnish talks ignorance, racism, and completely ignores most of our questions as he scoffs down...

A penny saved is a penny earned so the saying goes. But does it hold up in a court of law? This is what we’ll find out this week as we follow the trial of Shirtfront Amblewang who saved the life of local bottle collector and judo instructor Penny Prossel and is holding her in his home claiming her as his slave. Shirtfront says the law is clear and that he wants to put her to work in his newspaper...

It’s sweepsteaks time again as we broadcast from the Boldock Beef and Broom Bazaar. Great deals on brisket on brush, sirloin and scoop, or maybe even try your hand at the suede scrub at a masterclass with the Beefstie Boys. Enjoy the Twilight Tripe and Trowel dance headlined this year by superstar Swabbie Filet Gams. Too much meat? DW, they’re doing mushrooms or some shit as well. Additional Artwo...

This week DPR has a real treat for you. We’re broadcasting from the Greymead Stoat and Soap Symposium bringing you live tastings of some of the finest soups and fruit platters you’ll ever hear. Your host Milchard Oblong describes each spoonful in painstaking detail. We taste Millie Mousette's fabled Onion and Pear Soup, Brucemys Fanglesticks’ conjured Minestrone with Goats Cheese, and contemplate...

Feedel wasn’t always a beat poet, in fact before he became one he had never before entertained the idea. Feedel was 44 years into a career as a turkey sexer, he was head of the department at the largest Turkey Fromagerie this side of Gwilton. He had a loving husband, three more or less stable children, fourteen grandchildren, a ferret, and a negatively geared investment property. From the outside...

In breaking news - last night famed artist Pontifrak Goobsack's world renowned Galleria de la Mug burnt to the ground. Beneath this edifice of the snobby art world, we can now reveal the discovery of a hidden basement filled to the brim with caricatures and scrapbooking by Goobsack himself. Will the discovery of this art tarnish Goobsack's legacy? Will this pile of pornographic filth sully his nam...

In the dead of night a can clinks along the cobblestones. Chunky effluent spews into the Mead River, fouling the city's only water supply... What would the founders of Greymead have thought, seeing the waste, filth, and degradation that now calls itself a city? Is this what their hard labour bought? In the midst of the mire there is a family, their dreams of the future not yet broken by the crushi...

Torvin Templestow joins DPR this week to talk temple restoration, turnip farming, turning undead and how to run a successful kickstarter. He raised 1000gp in seven days for his temple restoration project. We hear how it all came about and find out how much of that money was donated by his mum. Additional Artwork & Credits: http://www.dicepaperrole.com/podcast/episode-31-the-metal-meets-the-meat/

Recently deceased bin man Bobby Brumpkin had a secret. He'd gone through his entire life with part of himself hidden, never to be revealed to anyone, not even his nearest and dearest. It pushed people away, a string of broken relationships and failed business ventures fell victim to this unknown truth. It was never named, but it could be felt by those close to Bobby. It was as if there was always...

Randle Pumpersnitch, used horse salesgnome and philanderer speaks out about his love for scallops, Tabaxian theatre, and what to look for when buying a moderately soiled mule. We also examine the tragic events of the Silvertongue Mine explosion. What happened to Barry the Budgie? Was he caught napping? Or was it an inside job, and is Barry the Budgie really Barry the Butcher? We interview his frie...