Destroy All Children

Oh boy. Strap in, folks, because I have to share the absolutely terrible insanity that is Twelve Minutes. Speaking of insanity, George is still on his Souls shit, trying to platinum Dark Souls 2, because he never learns. He's like the rat that keeps trying to eat the electrified cheese over and over. Probably best to just put him down. That's no kind of life. Anyway, in Retro Corner, he also wante...

After multiple attempts at recording that were thwarted by George's bad internet and other assorted tomfooleries, we had a successful session! Hooray! It was important that we get this episode to you, the loyal listener, so you can hear discussions about Dark Souls 2: Scholar of the First Sin and Hades, followed by a Retro Corner featuring X-Men arcade, The Simpsons arcade, and... After Burner II....

We all make poor decisions in life, some poorer than others, and this week we get to commiserate about our mistakes. For example, I watched Turbo: A Power Rangers Movie AND The Suicide Squad, neither of which was enjoyable. I also played the Back 4 Blood beta, which is... Fine. But of course George is also deep in the early 90s, in a non-Power Ranger-related fashion, because Retro Corner is about...

Heads up, this episode is frankensteined together from multiple recordings over a couple of days. George was having Computer Problems, so whaddya gonna do. But that's fine, because there wasn't a whole lot to talk about this week anyway. I played Atomicrops, and that's basically it, so most of this ep is a Retro Corner about Shin Megami Tensei 1, 2, and If..., so buckle in for that, I suppose.&nbs...

This week, I played a HOT NEW GAME from 2017, at least in Japan: Kyoei Toshi (aka The City Shrouded in Shadow) (aka Disaster Report Kaiju). Then it's time once again for Star Track, with the focus being Star Track VI: The Undiscovered Country, but of course it leads to a lot of George rambling about episodes of TNG. In Retro Corner, we talk about Detana!! Twinbee, OutRun, and a bit of Space Harrie...

That's right, it's time again. After some obligatory discussion about the Steam Deck and a bit about George's Yakuza: Like a Dragon experience, the rest of this episode is ALL STAR TRACK! Specifically, the subject at hand is Star Track IV: The Voyage Home, though, as you might expect, it kinda goes all over the place. No Retro Corner, because who freakin' needs it??? Old games SUCK!!!!! Theme song...

This week, I vent about Mario Golf: Super Rush and its various fuckups, get deep into the mechanics of UFC 4, and then we bring back the most accursed segment... News... Because there's more Persona stuff happening, and also some weird shit with Judgment, and a Nickelodeon Smash Bros, which is what we spend most of the time talking about. Do you want to hear two millennials wax nostalgic about Ahh...

Of course, the big thing this week is the OLED Switch. For once, news broke early on a Tuesday morning so we could talk about it. Apart from that, George just wanted to talk about more ffffffffffffffffucking Star Track movies so I took the opportunity to talk about No Sudden Move, the newest film from Stevie Soddenburg. After that's all done, in Retro Corner we catch a case of Kong Madness, and ta...

I am now freed from the Crafting of Wars all day every, and that's cool, but George has finally gotten his hands on Ratchet & Clank: Rift Apart as well! And then... More Star Track. But THEN, we get to a topic that's been continually postponed for a couple of months: the 1988 classic Midnight Run, starring Robert De Niro and the late Charles Grodin. We also take a detour into Oingo Boingo's di...

Well, E3 happened. Or maybe it didn't, depending on who you ask... It's me, I'm the one who would say it didn't happen. E3 2021 isn't real. Can you look at that shitshow and really tell me that was an EXPO? Gimme a freakin' break...  Anyway, new Metroid. So that's something, I guess. In Retro Corner George talks about, uhhhh... Aliens Vs Predator? No. No, it wasn't that, it was something that...

With no new games coming out this week, we turn to our old standbys: the Mario Movie and Star Track! That's right, we both watched the newly-available, restored "Morton/Jankel Cut" of Super Mario Bros (1993), and give our thoughts on this extended version. Then, because of his poor life decisions and even worse propensity for gambling, George relays his experience of watching the first season of S...

**THE THOUGHTS AND OPINIONS OF GEORGE BRUNDLE DO NOT REFLECT MY OWN OR THIS PODCAST. HIS REMARKS ARE LEFT UNEDITED THIS TIME BECAUSE IT WOULD HAVE RENDERED MOST OF THE EPISODE INCOMPREHENSIBLE. LISTEN AT YOUR OWN RISK** I played Biomutant for about 30 minutes, and this week I'm here to tell you that you shouldn't even play that much of it! Other than that, once George is finished saying slurs, he...

This week it's all about Returnal and Resident Evil: Village! Spoilers for up to House Beneviento are at the end of the episode, and we'll probably go full spoilers for everything next week. But in Retro Corner, George played a great game, Mischief Makers, for the N64! He also played The Lion King for the Sega Genesis, and that... I mean, there's nothing anyone can do about that. He's got a proble...

It's another week where we're neck-deep in gabagool, because George just finished season 3 of The Sopranos! So you've got that to look forward to! After that we talk about Pokemon games, which is far less fun. Pokemon Blue, Pokemon Puzzle League, and Pokemon Snap, to be specific. Two of them are pretty good! Come for the gabagool, stay for Pervert Oak.  Theme song by David Cassel Outro music:...

This week, on a leaner, more focused show (hehehe, shyeah, right) the main topics of discussion are the new Mortal Kombat movie and the Star Fox Trilogy. You know, Star Fox, Star Fox 2, and Star Fox 64. There aren't any other Star Foxes. That's it, that's all 3 of them.  Theme song by David Cassel Outro music: "Hide Another Round" by Dinosaur Jr, the theme song to the Academy Award-winning fi...

NEWS! Things are HAPPENING! PS3 and Vita stores? NOT SHUTTING DOWN (yet)! We did it, by the way, this was entirely thanks to us. PSP store is still screwed, but hey, whaddya gonna do. There's also something about a Playstation Movie Pass, whatever that is, who cares, it don't matter. With neither of us playing anything new this week, we go back to that gabagool, as George has finished Season Deux...

This week, we discuss the dire fate of Yuji Naka's last stand, Balan Wonderworld. Then, we've continued to play Oddworld: Soulstorm and Outriders, to varying levels of success. The Gabagool Summer continues, and in Retro Corner, George played Talespin (for the Genesis) and Shinji Mikami's Goof Troop (SNES).  Theme song by David Cassel

Topics this week include Godzilla Vs Kong, the obsolescence of movie theaters, more Evil Genius 2, Outriders (briefly), and of course, Oddworld: Soulstorm. In Retro Corner, George has completed a whole slew of Star War games, despite not even understanding how to play at least one of them. Quite an accomplishment.  Theme song by David Cassel Outro music: "Apeman" by The Kinks

This week, I've been playing Genesis Noir and Evil Genius 2, while George has been playing Persona 2: Innocent Sin, though that's a subject for another time. Because this week is all about things that I, Larry Davis, enjoy. First up, it's gonna be a GABAGOOL SUMMAH, as George has finally decided to start watching The Sopranos. Then, in Retro Corner, he played two games I enjoy a lot, one of w...

Hoo boy. This sure is An Episode, in many respects. That 3 hour runtime is justified, unlike some other interminable epics...  First, we have to contend with the force of nature that is The Snyder Cut. After that, I have a Retro Corner for Splinter Cell 1-3 (during which both other people on the podcast are almost entirely silent), and then it's the Main Event: a knock-down, drag-out confront...

Really weird episode this week, but in a good way. Without much news to speak of, and with possible gas leaks in both of our rooms, we instead decided to talk about Forged in Fire, the video game collector's market, and, of course... Star Track. The subject of Retro Corner is the NES Mega Mans (and 9/10, for some reason), where I thought it would be a good idea to run down all the Robot Masters. W...

First off, the audio levels still aren't quite right. Trying to dial this back in. Everything was great until George nuked his goddamn computer like an idiot. Anyway, this week we talk about Klute, podracing, WandaVision, and some sort of new Switch model, if you're the kinda freak who cares about that. This week's Retro Corner concerns Burning Force, a game that I have been assured is real, and P...

It's a JAM-PACKED, EXTRA-SIZED episode this week, because after the Usual Bull Shit (terrible-looking Pokemon games, Persona 5 Strikers, etc) we discuss Lupin III: The First, the new CGI moviefilm starring everyone's favorite gentlemen thief. Then, in Retro Corner, it's a double whammy, because George played Ico and Shadow of the Colossus. I love one of those games! Which one? Listen to find out,...

This week, we discuss Jim Ryan's GQ interview about the state of PlayStation, the demise of Daft Punk, last week's Nintendo Direct, and water levels. I hate them. Just the worst. If you're making a video game, and you think, "Hey, we should add a water level," here's some advice: fucking don't, you maniac. Stop it. You need to be stopped, by force if need be.  Then, in Retro Corner, it's Rist...

Low-energy episode this week, as I'm snowed in, but hey, George finished Control! I started Ys IX: Monstrum Nox! There was some news on the horizon when this was recorded, so we attempted to predict what it would be. It was, uhhh... Depressingly accurate, it turns out. Then, in Retro Corner, George played some Mickey Mouse games for Children. Magical Quest, The Great Circus Mystery, and Mickey Man...