Destroy All Children

And now, once again, it's time to discuss the worst this year had to offer. Of course, while there's plenty of heinous shit going on, I guess this year there isn't that much of a gap between the lows and highs, such as they are. Instead, we simply continue sliding deeper into the morass, looking forward to receiving our SuperStations so we can play games that don't have all of this...

A quick notice up front: The audio here turned out kinda wacky, with my audio levels being way louder than George's. I've done everything I can to try to smooth it out, but there's your warning. Turns out that recording once a year, sometimes with new hardware, is sort of unpredictable! But in the end it's right. I hope you have the time of your life, listening to us yak about a bu...

Following the Golden Gizmos, it's time for the darker side of video games... The sinister counterpart... The Golden Gremmies! We, once again, ruminate on what an absolute clusterfuck the industry has become, while trying to maintain some optimism for the future. Whether that happens or not, dear listener, is something you will have to discover for yourself!

It is time, once again, to review what we considered the best games of the preceding year. Just, uh... Ignore that tumbleweed moseying on by. REVIEWS OF GAMES MENTIONED, IN ALPHABETICAL ORDER: Arctic Eggs - Larry Astro Bot - George , Larry Crow County - George Dungeons of Hinterberg - Larry Final Fantasy VII Rebirth - George Home Safety Hotline - George , Larry Indiana Jones and the Great Circle -...

In the second, and final, episode of Big Money Podcastas, Larry and George review 2010's Big Money Rustlas, directed by Paul Andresen. Despite being, in their estimation, a massive improvement upon the first film, it's actually rated lower on IMDB. I'm not sure why... ICP fans are known for their discerning taste, after all. Now let me take a swig of this ice-cold Faygo...

In preparation for recording this year's Golden Gizmos, and as a result of severe mental illness, George and Larry decide to review the entire filmography of the Insane Clown Posse. First up: 2000's Big Money Hustlas, directed by John Cafiero.

After recording the regularly-scheduled Gremmies, everything somehow got even worse. So, here we are, ruminating on the impending demise of the AAA game industry, and running down Embracer Group's many and varied subsidiaries while trying to determine if they will survive or not. What, you think that's grim? Well, tough shit, that's reality, baby, and we're all living in it! We eat...

Now that the good is out of the way, it's time to talk about the worst that 2023 had to offer. And, oh boy, there was a LOT of shit.

It's that time again! Time for us to run down our Top Ten Games of da Year, including the recipients of the most Prestigious award in all of video games: the Golden Gizmo! After that, we run down the currently scheduled/hopeful titles of 2024 to find out what we're looking forward to. NOTE: I kept referring to Case of the Golden Idol as "Curse" of the Golden Idol. In my defense,...

We're back, with our lists of the TOP FIVE best games of 2022! If you still had this subscription in your RSS feeds or whatever, uhhh, sorry! But we had to deal with this depressing-ass year and a dearth of quality content, so now it's your problem too. This year, the Gizmos and Gremmies are released as one episode because, honestly, we had a lot of overlap in the Gizmos and there wasn't a whole l...

This is it! The end of the most celebrated video game/Star Track/gremlins-focused podcast in existence. With all our enemies dead, we celebrate our victory and discuss The Matrix Resurrections. Then, the final Retro Corner: The Pagemaster for the Sega Genesis. Look, I don't know, it seems anticlimactic to me too, but George seems to think it makes sense. It subverted your expectations, right? That...

It's time for our annual celebration of the best video games of the year! In addition to the main Gizmos, we also name our Best Re-Make/Re-Models, and Best New Characters. Next week: THE END. Link to Gremlins 3: Dawn of Desmond: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0fnwXgLbjeA Outro music: "Here Comes the Gremlin Man" by Nick Lutsko ( https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WE3DEAHbsqk )

Before we get to the Golden Gizmos next week, it's time to clear out the trash... The really rapey, gross trash... The Golden Gremmies are for the worst of the year, and oh boy, there was a lot of bad stuff in 2021! So sit back and... Enjoy? As we run down the Worst Games, Worst Developer, Worst Publisher, and Biggest Shitstorm of 2021.  Outro music: "I'll Still Destroy You" by The National

Halo Infinite is out! I've played it! The green boy is back in town! Anyway that doesn't matter, because we also watched Star Track: First Contact (1996), which takes up most of the time in this episode, and in Retro Corner, George is knocking out all da Marios: Super Mario All-Stars, Super Mario World, and Yoshi's Island. It was released as "Super Mario World 2" here, but we all know that's horse...

With no new games out this week, I've continued my retreat into 2015's Mad Max game, and I'm gonna talk about it! Because fuck you! We also talk about Spiders-Mans (George was wrong about its release date, BY THE WAY), Stars Wars, and other assorted bull crap. The Sega Saturn version of Symphony of the Night, that's another one. Uhhhhhhh, probably something else. It don't matter. In Retro Corner i...

This week, we take a brief foray into the News, because we've unfortunately willed a Chrono Cross remake into this bitch of an Earth. Betty White, meanwhile, continues to live. Anyway, I give some brief thoughts on Call of Duty: Vanguard, we get a bit deeper into Shin Megami Tensei V, and then in Retro Corner, George talks about an all-time classic: VICE: Project DOOM for the NES. Then he also tal...

God, it's been a long week. Last time we recorded, the freakin Grand Theft Auto Definitive Trilogy wasn't out yet. What a mess. But you know what else is out, and... Mostly not a mess? Shin Megami Tensei V! It's finally here! Then in Retro Corner, George briefly talks about Revenge of Shinobi and Shinobi 3, but instead we mostly sort out the release timeline of the Shinobi series. It's a mess.&nbs...

This week, we're basically both waiting for Shin Megami Tensei V to come out, but in the meantime, I've been playing Forza Horizon 5, and I finished The Forgotten City. George finished Metroid Dread and Far Cry 6, and in his Retro Corner, he's gonna take you back to the past: the years Chrono Trigger and Ocarina of Time came out, to be specific. Are these shitty games that suck ass? Y-- no? Well....

Once again, video games are BACK, and I'm here to tell you about The Good Life, Back 4 Blood (again), and Metroid: Dread! George instead wants to talk about Nintendo's garbage online pass or whatever, so I humor him. Then we have a little bit more about Far Cry 6, before it's on to RETRO CORNER: MORE TROIDS! All the Troids are here! Well... Metroid 1, Super Metroid, Zero Mission, and Fusion, actua...

Video games are BACK!!! We're here to talk about Far Cry 6 and Metroid Dread, though it's mostly Far Cry. I also relay some information about the current state of Switch emulation, which is completely unrelated, by the way. Totally. We also have a quick aside on the 2021 film Malignant, which everyone should watch, and in Retro Corner, it's Lunacy, for, you guessed it, the Sega Saturn! More Sega S...

This week, we learn more about Predators, the Sega Saturn, Nintendo's various failings, bad remakes, ice hockey manga and anime, and George's difficulties in pronouncing Japanese titles. In Retro Corner, the subject is Ninja Gaiden 1-3. The NES ones.  Theme song by David Cassel

Not a lot going on this week, as I'm still plugging away at Deathloop, and George is still in his insane Sega Saturn phase, but I did watch Predator 2, so... There's that. There's also the promise of NINTENDO NEWS on the horizon, and we unravel the mystery of Goonies 2 for the NES. But that's not Retro Corner. Retro Corner is, in fact, about JACKAL for the NES, and WRATH OF THE BLACK MANTA, which...

This week, I've played a liiiiittle bit of Deathloop (more on it next week) and I've also been deep in the 4 vs 1 mines, playing both Predator: Hunting Grounds and Dead By Daylight. God, I miss Evolve... Anyway, George watched The Phantom and played Albert Odyssey and Final Fantasy Tactics, which shouldn't be surprising to anybody. Also not surprising: more Star Track garbage. Theme song by David...

This week, I talk about Psychonauts 2 and No More Heroes 3, and George is into some REAL psycho shit with regards to the Sega Saturn. Then, in Retro Corner, it's really more of a mental exercise to see how much two old men remember about Kingdom Hearts 2. You'd never guess this, but the answer is: not much!  Theme song by David Cassel Outro music: "B's Theme" from the No More Heroes 3 OST

We've reached the end of our journey, and we bid farewell to the DS9 crew by picking our top 5 favorite episodes. The results may surprise you!! Probably not though. Maybe. I don't know. None of the Lwaxana Troi episodes are in here, I can tell you that.