Decoding Narcissism, Manipulation And Toxic Ideas, with Frederik Ribersson

Narcissists wear us down. It's the same tactics cults use. And their programming will stay with us for years, until we undo it. So the abuse continues. Why do they do they? And what can we do? The episode is kindly sponsored by Magic Mind, a drink that blends some well recognised mental stimulants to help increase clarity and focus, without overdoing caffeine. This is relevant because the ince...

Relationships with narcissists can't work out. And the reason is obvious, once we see it. A client was asking if things failed because of what she did, or didn't do, or say, or wear, or some other random detail. No, obviously not. But she was looked at the wrong level. In this episode, I share a simple model and question that help see the big picture and give us much needed perspective. On...

Though we don't control 100% of our lives, we control more than 0.0% of them. Getting away (and staying away) from narcissists is easier when we make some changes that seem small, but add up. Even in the the worst situations, there are some things we can do. In this episode I share 10 of these tips. The episode is kindly sponsored by Magic Mind, a drink that blends some well recognised mental...

Dr Heidi Brocke realised she was married to a narcissist. They had children. She took the incredibly difficult decision to leave, and leave her children with their father. Why? And what happened? (Spoiler: things turned out well). Now she helps people identify and escape toxic relationships. In this conversation, we discuss our observations around dynamics, share helpful ideas, and more. I hope yo...

How can a simple 0 to 10 scale help us have a better Christmas, even with narcissists? How can it help us manage our expectations, get less wound up, and maybe even make things better? Tune in to find out. And a Very Merry Christmas to you!

Christmas is supposed to be a wonderful time with our loved ones. But all it takes is one narcissist to spoil this time. Here are a few tips to remember to decrease the likelihood they wind you up and ruin your Christmas. And Merry Christmas, and thank you for following this podcast!

Narcissists are really annoying. Often. But why? Some common beliefs make them hard to understand, but once we see clearly, it makes more sense. I had a few conversations recently trying to decode their logic and motivations. This episode might help you make more sense of their otherwise bizarre behaviour.

Breaking up with a narcissist can be a nightmare, if you decide to: emotional manipulation, guilt tripping, hoovering and more are common as means to torture you into taking them back, so they can extract more energy from you. But is there a way to get them to leave you so that they... leave you alone? Maybe. Tune in to find out.

With narcissists, there always is a first moment we sense something is wrong. A strange look. A fight coming out of nowhere. A suggestion they think we are a bad person. Them stabbing us in the back (or the face). What can we learn from this? How can we use this to reduce the risk of being taken advantage of in the future? I share some thoughts and stories.

We often wonder why narcissists don't change. It seems illogical, yet it is what we observe. But... why would they change? Here are some thoughts on why they don't - and why we don't want to change either. A nice "focus boosting" drink called Magic Mind with many healthy incredients has a special offer in January, which you can find here: https://www.magicmind.com/JANfrederik...

Narcissists play toxic games. Many of these are common and can be recognised. In this episode, I share some tips to recognise games and we analyse a few of the games narcissists commonly play, as well as a few suggestions to avoid getting up in autopilot. You can read more about these games here: https://ericberne.com/games-people-play/im-only-trying-to-help-you/

Narcissists use double standards to create conflict. How? They escalate debates using semi-bad faith methods, being a bit provocative - but when we match them, they accuse us of doing what they did. What can we do? Tune in to find out!

Narcissists want us to turn against the people who actually have our backs. Why? It isolates us, makes us easier to manipulate - and makes it easier for THEM to do the manipulation.

When talking with narcissists and toxic people, we can get caught in bad faith arguments. How can we recognise this and avoid getting stuck in narc logic and, instead, highlight how their logic is illogical, unhealthy and dishonest? In this podcast exclusive episode, I share a few tips. Remember to tune in on YouTube at www.youtube.com/c/fribersson for more episodes.

Narcissists trick us into interacting with them. How? This short parable illustrates some of their tricks - and the second part of this episode deconstructs the main ideas. So you hopefully are less likely to get scammed again in the future!

If you have ever tried to warn people that someone might be a narcissist or is toxic, you probably noticed it almost never works. Why is that? In this podcast exclusive episode, I share some hypothesis, as well as some suggestions that have worked more often.

Psychometrics can be key in understanding ourselves in general. However, they become particularly illuminating when we seek to understand toxic dynamics with narcissists. I was delighted to interview Dr Stewart Desson, CEO and Founder of Lumina Learning, the psychometrics tool I use with my clients. A few features I particularly like with Lumina are: - a breakdown into 8 aspects of personality - e...

Narcissists conflate us describing things as they are, with saying how we want things to be. Using this simple picnic metaphor can help us avoid this trap.

Last night I witnessed a woman abusing her boyfriend over dinner. She operated in 6 stages to break him down. I share those six stages and some ways to reduce the risk of being hurt in such situations.

When a narcissist breaks up with us, that is commonly referred to as a "discard". However, today I came across a tweet from psychotherapist Jonathan Shedler that mentioned being "shrugged off". There is an emotional quality to this expression which I think is highly relevant to situations with narcissists.

Kylie Borg was in a toxic relationship and, as often is the case, she did not realise it. Little by little, things got worse, until one day she set her boundaries - and stood by them. So what did her ex do? When confronted with boundaries, toxic people usually insist, but when they can't break them down, they often end up leaving. Kylie shares her story, how she realised something was amiss, h...

Why would a divorce lawyer need to learn about narcissism? Why is "trying to prove to the court that your ex is a narcissist" a losing strategy? What could you do instead? Why is "seeking justice from the court" likely to backfire? Divorce lawyer Henry Crisp and Coach Frederik Ribersson discuss this and far more, providing tips, reframes, suggestions which will help anyone deal...

It's understandable to want justice or closure. And it works best when it comes from within.

Narcissists are about as reasonable as hostage takers. Though perhaps less so. However, we can learn some techniques from FBI hostage negotiators that help us get better outcomes when dealing with narcissists.

We all have fears, and some fear are actually quite common. Once we realise this, we see how narcissists will exploit different fears in different people. And, doing so, it is common for narcissists to be able to control people, with minimum effort. Once we realise these fears, we can actually protect ourselves more easily for malignant manipulative "people" who want to use others for th...