Decoding Narcissism, Manipulation And Toxic Ideas, with Frederik Ribersson

Laura was a guest in a guesthouse. But she acted as though we were her guests: she bossed people around, and was obnoxious. But one lie she told uncovered the truth, and she turned on me. This is the sad story of Laura, little dog Simba, and some reflexions on how to spot and deal with toxic people and narcissists.

She had had a bad breakup after 20 years with someone, 15 of which he had been obnoxious and presented symptoms of having a personality disorder. And she could not wrap her head around this. But I figured out how to reframe the situation for her to get it. She laughed, snapped out of the hypnosis, and FINALLY turned the page. This is the story.

Narcissists rely on lies that are propped up by other lies. Why? It makes it easier for them to manipulate us. It is hard to believe one person can lie so much. But also, by relying on a "mesh network", it means that even if one lie is exposed, the network of lies still resists. And we are more likely to just shrug off anomaly after anomaly. Until we realise what is happening, the whole...

Narcissists and cults, whether spiritual or political, brainwash people in order to control them. Fortunately, there are certain tells that we have been brainwashed. And once we are aware of these, it becomes less hard to deprogram ourselves and start to think clearly again. This applies to narcissists in romantic relationships, at work, in NGOs, political movements, and in "spiritual groups&...

Narcissists lie, a lot. And for the lies to work, they rely (pun?) on us "reading between the lines". While this is a good idea with healthy people, it is a terrible idea with liars. So instead, when someone says something weird, you can ask this question: what do you mean?

Narcissists count on us to politely fill the blanks. And they like to be obnoxious to trigger us. But what happens when we don't do what they want, and do this instead?

I share two stories of meeting people and they did something that was really off, signalling with high probability they might be narcissists. Or at least jerks and really unpleasant to be around. I share both stories and observations.

Everyone makes bad decisions sometimes. So it’s easy to assume that all bad decisions are « good faith bad decisions ». But narcissists game this. And we can figure out when. In this episode, I share how.

Toxic people and narcissists are often mean. And then nice. Or first nice, and then mean. And it seems to make no sense. But there is a really good reason why they act this way. And it probably explains why those relationships are doomed for failure.

Narcissists are a bad deal. So let's see if tools used to analyse deals can help us identify toxic relationships and make more sense of why they are such a... bad deal. #npd #narcissism #narcissist #toxicrelationship

It is increasingly common for people to think like narcissists. And until we're aware of what that looks like, there is a risk we do too. We know narcissists have a simplistic view of the world. Here is how you can spot a "narclogic view", why it is nonsense, how you can debunk it (if you need to) and how you can avoid getting caught up in exhausting narcissist games. #narcissism #ma...

There are some common mistakes people make around narcissism. These mistakes PREVENT people from moving on, getting their lives back on track - they therefore INCREASE the price paid even AFTER the abusive relationship has ended. Until we're aware of them, we're MORE likely to make and repeat them. Hopefully this will help you avoid them.

Narcissists love to infiltrate and take over groups. It's less effort than creating a group. There are certain patterns they follow. I observe 6 stages of the takeover. Hopefully this will make you less vulnerable.

Narcissists will claim to know a lot. They will appear certain. And yet, many of the things they claim to know are... unknowable. Or it is not possible for them to be as certain as they are. In this episode, I share some thoughts to avoid falling for the "certainty = credibility" trap.

I just came across an article "what words can destroy a narcissist" on some website. I think it was generated by AI. And it was full of really toxic ideas and thought structures. I recorded my debunking of these ideas that WILL backfire on anyone who tries them. I really dislike when people take advantage of others. And it's important to recognise bad and unhelpful ideas.

Cults and Narcissists use nearly identical manipulation tricks that are very effective - until we recognise them and debunk them. In this episode I share 6 of these tricks they play and make some suggestions to make yourself less vulnerable.

Here is a sneak preview of some ideas I explore in the book I am writing on narcissism. I finally found an angle I think is relevant and would love to hear what you think. I list the 11 mistakes below. And if you'd like to accelerate your healing process, why not see if the Healing After Narcissists course might be helpful? It comes with a money back guarantee: https://healingafternarcissists....

Narcissists use convoluted / stupid thinking to manipulate others and defend low quality ideas. Once we recognise HOW narcissists think, it becomes easier to avoid being manipulated and to avoid embracing low quality ideas. In this episode I share 11 of these ideas and debunk the.

Is therapy helpful after being with a narcissist? Is all therapy equal? What are some things to look out for? What was my experience working with a therapist through a breakup WITHOUT being aware of narcissism? I share some thoughts on this topic. In short, I recommend working with licensed therapists who have experience dealing with personality disorders, otherwise you run the risk of the "b...

When a friend's new partner starts employing Isolation Tactics, or Loyalty Challenge, when they are trying to create conflict between the friend and their Support Group, what is really going on? And if you put down boundaries, are you being unreasonable or… Doing the right thing? Tune in to find out!

Narcissists use Rupars to gaslight us. The technique is obnoxious, and effective, and can make us hallucinate they are right, and we are wrong. So what is a Rupar, how does it work, and how can we avoid getting rupared by #narcissists?

Why don't narcissists admit when they get something wrong? There are two reasons. Until we understand them, we are likely to try to get them to see things from our point of view. That is exhausting and frustrating. But once we understand why we can't work through things with them, it becomes easier to stop wasting our time and energy.

When you first realise that someone matches the profile of a narcissist, and you tell your friends, many people will not believe you. There are some common sentences they will use to express. What basically is cognitive dissonance. In this episode, I run through 10 sentences and I share some perspectives and how to approach them.

Narcissists and cults use similar manipulation tactics to wear people down. In this livestream from YouTube, I share some thoughts.

What is the first sign of a toxic dynamic? We often look for behaviours and patterns, but maybe the first sign is a feeling we have, a sinking feeling, not feeling good enough. And maybe the first symptom of that is when we stop doing things that we love and that are good for us. The nice "focus boosting" drink called Magic Mind I mentioned, with many healthy ingredients, has a special o...