Dear Dr. Tracy

We're getting ready for another holiday season. With Passover, Good Friday, Easter, Eastern Orthodox Easter, and Ramadan coming up, it seemed like a great time to ask you, my community, some important questions about family get togethers and talk about how you want to show up. When it comes to family gatherings, 46% of you feel "okay negative" about them. In this episode, we talk about: What you c...

For the parents who just want their child to be happy. When I told my daughter that I just needed five minutes before I could rub her back at bedtime, she screamed at me. And what I did next was not my best moment. I could feel it coming over me. I screamed back at her. I know so many parents get to this point - the exhaustion and overwhelm. The Demands. Being pulled in so many directions. We rais...

In this week's podcast, I answer your question. Q. Dear Dr. Tracy. Every time I try to share something with my partner, he goes and makes it about himself. Recently, I was trying to share about an issue with my sister. He got so heated and upset - we've had frequent conflict about my sister - that I ended up stop asking for the support that I needed. I'm not sure what to do in these moments, but I...

Did you know that 1 in 4 couples sleep in separate beds?1 Despite this common experience, many people continue to feel a lot of stigma around speaking out about their need for a restful night's sleep - which may mean sleeping in a different room from your lover. People tend to learn that there must be something wrong with a relationship if a couple is sleeping in separate beds. There is a term for...

Our collective experiences recently have been beyond challenging. The frequent suggestions of "go for a walk" are often not enough anymore. Enter Eve Rodsky, an expert in family mediation and organizational management, and author of New York Time's bestselling book Fair Play and Finding Your Unicorn Space. Her message to us is to burn our guilt and get rid of other toxic messages that stop us from...

This episode is quite a bit different than every other episode this season. I asked the community, via Instagram, to submit questions and I picked some to answer similar to a Dear Abby column. As we close out Season 2 I want to thank this beautiful community - especially since we've hit the 100K download milestone! We truly would not be here without each of you listening and sharing it with those...

What happens when you sit two relationship experts down for a chat? This episode is just that - two relationship experts, one conversation. Everyone has their own attachment style, it's the way we build and respond to relationships. When we understand our attachment styles we can better help our relationship maintain healthy boundaries. Speaking of boundaries, have you ever sat down with your part...

Have you ever reached a point, through your motherhood journey, where you felt like something needed to change in order for you to be happy? Perhaps you felt as though your needs were somehow lost in the mix while you were putting everyone else's needs ahead of your own. Who looks out for mom when she's taking care of everyone else? But what if I told you the change you need in order to reach happ...

Why is it that we treat men's time as if it is as "precious as diamonds" and women's time as if it is as "infinite as sand?" (As this week's podcast guest stated it). Chances are you never sat down with your partner, before moving in together, getting married, or having children, to discuss who does what. Who takes the trash out? Who buys the mustard? Who care for the children when they are home s...

Step moms seem to get a bad rap in movies - even cast in a poor light and labeled "Evil Stepmothers." In reality, stepmothers are human beings parachuted into co parenting arrangements they had no part in making. It can feel like fitting a circle peg into a square-shaped hole. You might be told you aren't a 'real' mother and in the same breath criticized for not being involved enough. No one hands...

"Don't go to bed angry" is probably one of the most common well wishes provided to newly weds during evening toasts and handwritten cards. But what this misses is that if you are escalated and angry, the last thing you should do is continue to talk about the issue at hand. When both partners are flooded and overwhelmed, this is a recipe for additional hurt words that do not get unheard. In this ep...

"You're young..." "You'll get pregnant again..." "At least you have a healthy child..." "At least you can get pregnant..." It's estimated that nearly 1 in 4 pregnancies results in a miscarriage. Yet somehow most of us are unaware of how many people we know that have experienced pregnancy loss until we experience one. Feelings of isolation, self-blame, guilt, and shame can pour in during the afterm...

Have you ever thought to yourself "are we having enough sex?" or maybe you have fallen into a rut where you can recall step-by-step how each time will go because nothing ever changes. Could anyone else be feeling this way too? In most relationship we will find mismatched sex drives, doubts, unspoken desires, and self-esteem issues blending into the bedroom. Sex is something humans do, but for many...

Have you ever had someone say to you "I'm sorry about your divorce?" or maybe you've said this to someone. Is there really something to be sorry for? "It was a choice I had to make and for other people, who don't understand what it is to be in a bad marriage and how hard it is to get yourself out of it, all they feel for you is sadness." Sometimes marriages just don't work. Toxic relationships can...

We all know that feeling when someone apologizes but doesn't really apologize. Or what about for ourselves, when we aren't sure we have anything to apologize. Why is apologizing so hard? What makes a good apology? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

So many women and mothers show up in my office struggling with high expectations and perfectionism.  The challenge? Life is not perfect. You are not meant to be perfect. There will be mistakes. It is not possible to be the perfect caregiver, partner and individual.   And even more so? It’s a trait that society places on us. And it’s not healthy. Join me as I speak with Dr. Jen Douglas, a clinical...

One of the biggest struggles being seen with dealing with COVID19? The uncertainty.  What does this look like tomorrow? Next month? This winter?  So it's no wonder that 85% of the women I polled said they were stressed out and experiencing burnout.  Today, I sit with Dr. Julie Beaulac to talk about how we can calm the F*#$ down by re-tuning our nervous systems. And ultimately, if we can retune our...

Take a moment and reflect on the year of 2020.    Sidenote. It’s already November 3rd!   Did you get all of the projects completed that you wanted to? Make all of the moves you planned to? Start that new workout routine, begin to eat healthier, and find extra time in the day to be with your friends and family?  Let’s be honest, the answer is probably “no.”    And you are not alone in that.    In t...

We all long to know that we matter to the ones we love. We have an innate need for emotional contact and security, and these attachment needs are healthy and adaptive.   But at times, we question if we are important to our partners or if we matter. When our attachment figures - our partners - are not reliably accessible and supportive, the ability to securely attach is undermined. Insecurity devel...

We all have triggers. Our partners all have triggers. And they are not always the same things. Building a relationship that brings an understanding of each other’s triggers, strengths and differences is complicated. When we bring compassion, understanding, kindness and accountability into our relationships, our love and connection blossoms. In this episode, Michaela Thomas, clinical psychologist,...

In June of this year, I was asked to speak at a conference on imposter syndrome for women in business. Being one of my goals for the year, I was super excited and quickly said yes. Then, a feeling crept in. This feeling of “who are you to speak in front of all those women?” and “do you really have anything to share that they already don’t know?” Have you been there before? When you start feeling l...

We know that women and mothers carry a higher mental load than their partners. It isn’t just completing the household and childcare tasks, it is also the mental and emotional work that it takes to remember to do these tasks. The mental load became even more evident to me after my second child was born. It wasn’t just going to the doctor appointments for check ups, it was remembering to schedule th...

When I returned to work after my second maternity leave, I was doing it all. Eight clients back to back. An hour commute home. Nursing my daughter. Building a website.  Creating a podcast. The list goes on. I was feeling exhausted. I was often dizzy and short of breath (despite looking after regular meals, water intake, and sleep). And then my body started screaming at me, telling me that I needed...

Overwhelmed. Can you relate to this feeling?  Overwhelmed with the number of things you need to get done. From cleaning the house, homeschooling your kids, organizing meals, working, maintaining friendships, and connecting with your partner - the list goes on. But what would happen if you took a pause? Took a deliberate moment to rest through the day. In this episode, I connect with Allison Keatin...

Friendships are hard, particularly as adults. Many of us believe that the quality of our life is based on the number of people we can count on as friends. The more friends we have, the better off we are. So when we go through a friendship breakup, it's hard to understand that it’s not necessarily about the type of person we are, or the kind of life we live, but rather a part of any relationship an...