Dear Dr. Tracy

Have you ever known that something wasn’t right, or felt something deeply, before you could explain why? In this episode, Dr. Tracy sits down with psychiatrist Dr. Ellen Vora, author of *The Anatomy of Anxiety* and *Season of the Witch: A Psychiatrist’s Case for Magic*, for a conversation about intuition, embodiment, grief, science, mystery, and the parts of ourselves we may have learned to silenc...

Why does the daughter-in-law so often become the person blamed when an adult son starts setting boundaries, spending less time with family, or doing things differently? In this episode, Dr. Tracy revisits one of the most downloaded conversations from Dear Dr. Tracy with creator Janelle, known online as @heyjanellemarie. Together, they talk about the “thousand paper cuts” that can build in mother-i...

What happens when the partner who has spent years asking for connection suddenly stops asking? In this episode, Dr. Tracy explores the “burned-out pursuer,” a relationship shift that can look deceptively peaceful from the outside. The arguments decrease. The questions stop. One partner is no longer asking for date nights, difficult conversations, affection, sex, or repair. But less conflict does n...

Can you love your father, believe he was a good dad, and still carry a father wound? In this episode, Dr. Tracy welcomes Terri Cole back to the podcast to talk about her new book, *The Father Wound*, and the often-overlooked ways our earliest experiences with fathers and father figures can shape worthiness, perfectionism, ambition, people-pleasing, boundaries, and the relationships we choose as ad...

What do you do when the holidays are coming, your in-laws expect to stay in your home, and the last visit ended in a painful family conflict? In this episode, Dr. Tracy and Greg answer a listener question about a mother-in-law who challenged their parenting in front of the children, a husband who finally stepped in and supported his wife in the moment, and the complicated question of what happens...

Why can two people love each other deeply and still feel completely out of sync when it comes to communication, desire, and sex? In this episode, Dr. Tracy is joined by sex therapist Dr. Lori Watson and emotionally focused therapy trainer George Faller, authors of *Brave Love, Great Sex: Harnessing Attachment Theory for Passionate Relationships*. Together, they explore the emotional and sexual cyc...

Have you ever avoided saying something because you didn’t want to upset your partner, say it wrong, or turn the moment into a fight? In this episode, Dr. Tracy and Greg talk about avoidance, conflict, control, and the hard conversations couples keep waiting to have. What can feel like “keeping the peace” is often a way of trying to manage discomfort, predict your partner’s reaction, and control th...

Have you ever had a conflict, talked it through, repaired it, and still didn’t feel close afterward? In this episode, Dr. Tracy shares a recent date-night conflict with Greg that started with one small question: “What do you want for dinner?” But like so many relationship moments, it was not really about dinner. It was about decision fatigue, mental load, expectations, and the deeper feeling of no...

Back-to-school season is full of advice about helping kids transition, but what about helping your relationship transition too? In this episode, Dr. Tracy and Greg talk about the September shift: the moment summer ends, routines return, capacity drops, and couples start feeling more reactive, less patient, and less generous with each other. What can look like a relationship problem may actually be...

What do you do when you’re trying to build more emotional intimacy, but your partner says, “I’m just not a feelings person”?In this episode, Dr. Tracy and Greg answer a listener question from Michael, a husband who has been doing his own personal work around people-pleasing, anxious attachment, intimacy, and emotional connection. He wants to talk more openly with his wife about feelings, needs, an...

What do you do when your partner’s defensiveness is shutting down your desire, but you’re afraid that bringing it up will only make them more reactive? In this episode, Dr. Tracy answers a listener question about sex, defensiveness, and how to talk about what turns desire off without getting pulled into another negative cycle. She explains why defensiveness is understandable, especially when someo...

With the release of their new joint memoir, I’m Going to Break Your Heart: A Rock N Roll Love Story, and their upcoming fall tour, this conversation with Raine Maida and Chantal Kreviazuk feels especially timely to revisit. In this intimate conversation, Dr. Tracy sits down with the Canadian musicians and longtime partners to talk about the real work of long-term love: marriage, family, therapy, c...

Major life transitions can make even strong couples feel disconnected, reactive, and unlike themselves. In this episode, Dr. Tracy and Greg record from their new office after moving homes and reflect on what this season taught them about stress, partnership, and staying connected through change. From buying, selling, staging, packing, moving, and settling in, they talk about how stress can amplify...

What do you do when your partner keeps bidding for connection at the worst possible times, or in ways that feel irritating, inconvenient, or hard to receive? In this episode, Dr. Tracy answers a listener question that starts with annoying bids for connection, but quickly reveals something deeper: emotional safety. Because sometimes the issue is not the bid itself. It is the history underneath it....

One of the hardest parts of mother-in-law conflict is that the thing you want most, accountability, can become the very thing keeping you stuck. In this short episode, Dr. Tracy talks to the daughter-in-law who has tried to explain, repair, clarify, and get her mother-in-law to finally understand the hurt she caused. It makes sense to want accountability, ownership, and responsibility. But when so...

Why does someone who longs for closeness often come across as critical, demanding, or angry? In this episode, Dr. Tracy looks at the other side of the defensiveness cycle: the partner who brings things up, reaches for connection, pushes for repair, and then gets labelled as “too angry,” “too much,” “controlling,” or “a nag.” But underneath that criticism is often something much more tender: a prot...

The mental load isn’t just about who does more chores. It’s about the invisible planning, tracking, noticing, anticipating, and remembering that keeps a family and relationship running. In this episode, Dr. Tracy shares real moments from her marriage with Greg, from tracking naps with a newborn to wiping kitchen counters while 1,000 tabs open in her brain, and explores why the mental load can crea...

Do you ever feel like being misunderstood doesn’t just hurt, it sends your whole nervous system into shutdown? In this short episode, Dr. Tracy reflects on a powerful insight about highly sensitive people and highly sensitive children: sometimes the hardest part isn’t being perceived, it’s being perceived wrongly. She explores why the fear of being misunderstood can lead to over-explaining, reread...

Have you ever tried to tell your partner something and realized they were only half-listening because they were on their phone? In this episode, Dr. Tracy and Greg talk about phubbing, the habit of snubbing someone with your phone, and how it quietly disrupts connection in romantic relationships. It might not look like a big fight. It might just look like sitting side by side in bed, scrolling, mi...

You said the hard thing. You set the boundary, sent the text, spoke up in the meeting, or finally named what had gone unspoken. So why can’t you stop replaying it afterward? Dr. Tracy explores why courage does not always come with immediate relief. Even when you know you acted thoughtfully and in line with your values, your nervous system may still be on high alert, searching for a way to make the...

Why do some people shut down when they're hurt while others immediately criticize, blame, or demand a response? In this episode, Dr. Tracy introduces two common ways people respond to emotional pain: internalizing and externalizing. When something difficult happens in a relationship, some people turn inward, questioning themselves, minimizing their needs, or carrying the hurt alone. Others turn ou...

If you've ever walked away from a conversation feeling like your concerns got completely lost in your partner's defensiveness, this episode is for you. Dr. Tracy shares a real-life conversation she recently had with Greg and breaks down exactly what happened when a difficult discussion could have spiraled into their old negative cycle, but didn't. Instead of focusing on how to change a defensive p...

Have you ever assumed you already knew how your partner was going to react? In this special episode, Greg takes over the mic to share a husband's perspective on one of the biggest traps couples fall into: getting stuck in outdated stories about the people we love. Drawing from his own experiences navigating marriage, parenting, dirt biking, golf, and family life, Greg explores how old assumptions...

Have you ever found yourself upset with your partner... only to realize the entire argument happened inside your head? We all do it. Your partner sighs. They seem distant. They forget something important. Before they've even said a word, your mind has already filled in the blanks. In this episode, Dr. Tracy and Greg explore the stories we tell ourselves about our partners and how those assumptions...

Have you ever tried to share something vulnerable with your partner… and somehow the conversation turned into an argument? Maybe you’ve said, “I didn’t tell you because I was afraid of your reaction.”It sounds honest. It sounds vulnerable. But is it? In this episode, Dr. Tracy and Greg break down one of the most common communication traps couples fall into: when vulnerability accidentally turns in...