Dean & Rog Birthday Scams

On Wednesday's Celebrity Birthday Scam, Mike just started as a TELEMARKETER, and he’s already used to how WEIRD people can be on the PHONE, but THIS call might just take the CAKE! TODAY, poor Mike calls the man of many ANNOYANCES Jim Carrey, and he doesn’t want to LISTEN to the deals…He just wants to TALK!        Will Mike be able to MAKE THE DEAL?!    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy infor...

Nicole likes to sit on her PATIO and SING SONGS on her ACOUSTIC guitar, who could have a PROBLEM with that? Well, Rog, the ANNOYED neighbor, that’s WHO! Rog calls Nicole to tell her that her nightly UNPLUGGED concerts need to have a FAREWELL tour NOW, or else he’s going to have to take matters into his own HANDS!  How does Nicole handle Rog the music HATER?!  See omnystudio.com/listener for privac...

Jodi just moved into a new NEIGHBORHOOD, so she put out a “WELCOME FRIENDS” sign to help fit in! Well, Rog, the HOA hardhead, calls Jodi to say her sign’s an EYESORE and it needs to GO! And if Jodi doesn’t take care of it, Rog will DUMP it in her POOL!       Will Jodi have to find a NEW, Rog-less NEIGHBORHOOD?!  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Luke’s DOG keeps getting into the neighbor’s BACKYARD and DIGGING UP the HERB GARDEN! Well, Dean, the NIGHTMARE next door, calls to say that was his SPECIAL “HERB” GARDEN, if you know what he means, and it’s gonna cost $2,000 to replace his STASH!     How COOL will Luke be about Dean’s next-door SIDE-HUSTLE?!  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

On Wednesday’s Celebrity Birthday Scam, Elyse works at a PIZZA PLACE, so she’s used to RUDE people with WEIRD topping choices, but NOTHING like THIS! Today, food fanatic HOMER SIMPSON calls poor Elyse looking for GRILL CHEESE, and he’s FIGHTING MAD when she says they don’t have THEM!      Will Homer get his GRILLED CHEESE or will he just GRILL Elyse?! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy inform...

Lucy ordered a BRA and PANTY set online, didn’t like them, so she used their FREE RETURN policy to send them BACK! Well, Dean, the online UNDERWEAR salesman, calls to say the free return is only for people who DON’T try the clothes ON…And Lucy’s BIG BUTT stretched them out…Which is BAD for BUSINESS, but a GOOD FIT for Dean’s WAISTLINE!    How much WEIRDER does Dean make this already CREEPY call?!...

Markem’s car got REPO’ED then AUCTIONED, but he STILL owed money on it…And that was 2 years ago! Dean, the finance FIEND, calls Markem to let him know times UP and he needs to pay UP, or else Dean’s coming down to repo his NEW CAR for some “CREATIVE” collateral!       Will Markem be taking the BUS by the end of this CALL?!     See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Jeff’s ROOF is covered in PINE NEEDLES, and he didn’t think it was a BIG DEAL. Well, that was until Rog, the HOA HEAVY-HITTER, calls to say having pine needles on your roof is a CLEAR violation of the dreaded SECTION 17 in the HOA manual, and now he’s gonna PAY!   How does Jeff like Rog’s NOT SO NEIGHBORLY advice?!     See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Wednesday on the Celebrity Birthday Scam, Monica runs a COPY STORE, and she’s had her fair share of CRAZY CUSTOMERS looking for WEIRD STUFF, but NOTHING like THIS! TODAY, Patrick Stewart, as Captain Jean-Luc Picard, calls Monica’s copy place looking for a DOCTOR and he expects his ORDERS to be followed without QUESTION!         This call is the FINAL FRONTIER of FRUSTRATION, how does Captain Picar...

Steve likes to RELAX in his HOT TUB…NAKED and doesn’t want to be DISTURBED! Well, Dean, the Don of disturbance, calls Steve to say he’s got a DELIVERY that needs a signature at the FRONT DOOR, and he’s not taking “LEAVE ME ALONE!” for an answer!   How close does Dean get to Steve’s DANGER ZONE?!     See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Carl rented a CAR, but BUSTED UP one of the RIMS, so he REPLACED it before bringing it BACK! Well, Dean, the demented RENTAL MANAGER, calls Carl to say they found out about his PATHETIC amateur MECHANIC WORK, and since Carl SCREWED it up in the first place, he’s on the HOOK for the REPAIRS!       Will Carl & Dean WORK something OUT, or PUNCH each other OUT?!   See omnystudio.com/listener for p...

Mike had a BIG PARTY at his LAKE HOUSE and his ELDERLY NEIGHBORS didn’t appreciate it! Well, HOA heavyweight Rog calls to say either Mike turns down the TUNES or else Rog is coming over to BEAT HIM DOWN!          How do we go from WILD PARTIES to WILD PUNCHES?!  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

On Thursday’s Celebrity Birthday Scam, Rachael works at a DELI, so she’s used to people making WEIRD special ORDERS, but NOTHING like this! Today a VERY hungry DAVID LEE ROTH calls Rachael looking for a bucket of FRIED CHICKEN and he’s not taking, “we don’t have that…” for an ANSWER!                Will David drive Rachael CRAZY trying to get his CHICKEN FIX?!  See omnystudio.com/listener for priv...

Henry gets his DOG FOOD delivered, but the last order didn’t SHOW UP, so he had to go out and buy it HIMSELF! Well, Dean, the delivery DELINQUENT, calls to say Henry’s getting that missed shipment whether he wants it or not, so SHUT UP and OPEN WIDE…Cuz This month’s flavor is SALMON and SWEET POTATO!     How does this call go from talking about KIBBLES n’ BITS to KICKS n’ BRUISES?!   See omnystudi...

Lauren STILL has her CHRISTMAS DECORATIONS up and the neighbors have had ENOUGH! So, Rog, the OVERLY dedicated HOA rep, calls Lauren to tell her that the BIG SANTA INFLATABLE needs to come down NOW or else he’s coming HOME with Rog!        How does Lauren handle Rog’s post-Christmas ROUGH-UP?!  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Charles ordered a NEW CAR and, lucky him, it arrived EARLY! Well, CAR SALESMEN Dean calls Charles to say his NEW car is here, it just has 2,300 MILES on the odometer AND it’s the WRONG COLOR! Otherwise, it’s just what Charles WANTED!     Will Charles have to order ANOTHER CAR to get what he ASKED FOR?!   See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Larry rented a BEACH HOUSE for his family to RELAX, but his trip was anything BUT relaxing! Larry had to deal with too many people in the next house over FLOODING his backyard with SEWAGE WATER! Well, PROPERTY MANAGER Dean calls Larry to say he doesn’t believe a WORD of his story, heck he probably busted the commode HIMSELF!     Will Larry be UP A CREEK on this CALL?!   See omnystudio.com/listener...

Nichole had some WINDOW BLINDS put in, but it took THREE TIMES as long as they said it would AND they’re CROOKED! Well, Dean, the BLINDS BUCCANEER, calls Nichole back to say PATIENCE is VIRTUE…So, basically, SHUT UP!        Is it CURTAINS for CUSTOMER SERVICE?!   See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

On Wednesday’s Celebrity Birthday Scam, Jessica works at a PEST CONTROL COMPANY, so she’s used to dealing with people at their WEIRDEST, but nothing like THIS! TODAY, King of the Hills’ very own King of CONSPIRACY DALE GRIBBLE calls Jessica to tell her the REAL TRUTH about ANTS that the MAN doesn’t want her to KNOW!          Will Jessica be able to follow Dale’s DERAILED train of THOUGHT?!  See om...

John is going on a VACATION with his MASSIVE family, so he reserved an SUV to help contain the BROOD! Well, Rog, the rental RENEGADE, calls to say the SUV isn’t AVAILABLE, but heck he’s got a 2-SEATER ready to go! That’ll work, RIGHT?!           How does Rog make John’s FAMILY VACTION somehow, even MORE STRESSFUL?! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Joanne’s IDENTITY was STOLEN, and the THIEF wrote a BUNCH of BAD CHECKS before she could put things RIGHT! Well, Rog, the bunk Check BUM, calls Joanne to say he doesn’t BELIEVE her STOLEN IDENTITY story…She's just trying to get out of paying the $89.59 she OWES him!   How far will Rog go to get his CASH?!  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Wes just moved out of his APARTMENT and thought things were good to GO! Well, PROPERTY MANAGER Dean calls Wes to say, he was in a NO PET UNIT…And Dean SMELLS a CAT! So, Wes is on the HOOK for $600 of DRAPES and $900 of CARPET repair!   Will everyone SURVIVE this CALL?!  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

James rented a HEDGE TRIMMER, but ACCIDENTLY cut through the POWER CORD while using it! Well, Dean, the rental RENEGADE, calls James back to say he owes them $219 for the repair or else Dean’s coming over to CUT James’ CORD!   How far does Dean push things this time?!  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Mike bought a TRUCK for $1,000 MORE than it was ADVERTISED, so he went back and got a REFUND…Or so he THOUGHT! Dean from ACCOUNTING calls Mike to say he doesn’t have ANYTHING about giving the $1,000 BACK, so Mike’s gonna have to PAY UP or Dean’s coming for the TRUCK himself!           What does Dean do to help get through STRESSFUL calls like THIS?!  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy informa...

Dana hired a TRAVEL AGENT to plan a trip to CANCUN for her, and VACATION time’s just around the corner! Well, Dean, the DEPRESSED travel TYRANT, calls Dana to let her know that they MESSED UP her DREAM TRIP to Cancun, but they still have some lovely packages to TIJUANA available!         Will Dean make Dana call the whole thing OFF?!  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.