Damaged and Spicy

Trophy Children Have Always Been Worthy of Love. Growing up as a Trophy Child really made me see my worth differently and unlearning that is a daily chore.

Who knew that setting boundaries was something you could actually do to your family? I was just used to being balled a Bitch or a Cunt when I set them. Boundaries to most women who were raised in a dysfunctional family system that are now known as the black sheep.... boundaries can feel like rejection and that shit is scary for us.

What do you think happens when the black sheep of the family changes... for good? Well in my family, hostility came quick.

To the women out there who fee like peace is suspicious as fuck... you're not alone and nothing is wrong with you. You've just lived in an environment where unpredictability was more common than peace was.

Today we're going to be talking about how family dysfuntion works from the baseline. Some people have asked, how the hell did your family get away with this for so long? Well the truth is... the truth had nothing to do with it.

How many women out there find it difficult to ask for a simple favor to help a task... let alone something monetary related or labor related. Yeah you're not alone.

Am I sensitive, dramatic, making a big deal out of EVERYTHING or am I looking at things from a depth that you can't comprehend nor do you want to?

What was the straw that broke the camel's back...? My family would probably call me cow vs a camel so I'll edit that. The straw that broke the cow's back... coming right at ya.

Reading the room is something I thought I could brag about.... Turns out it's just another coping skill I learned from a young age... On top of that, I never learned to read myself in the process.

Women are never born the strong, independent & mature women they're build into. They were created scenario after scenario starting at such young ages that most of us will never understand how soon it actually started effecting our identities.

I've been thinking a lot about where I want my podcast to go. I am going to be transitioning to story telling not to point fingers but to share awareness as to how women create their identities from such a young age.

Nobody talks about what grief actually looks like when you're pulling yourself out of survival mode. Grief comes in many shapes, sizes and colors.

How many women have thought to themselves... "Something is wrong with me. Am I the problem? Am I a bad person"? No, you've just never felt peace. Truly felt and lived it... because Chaos has always been home.

You're not angry. You're not bitter. You just spoke the truth one too many times and that jeopardized the ENTIRE family image.... so the family obviously needed to get creative.

Anger is just a surface level emotion that shows in specific scenarios and often earns women the label of "bitch, cunt, etc"... well I'm going to explain to you why anger is something also a protector of sorts.

How many women out there are hyper aware of EVERYONE AND EVERYTHING? Yeah that's a gift in some settings but not all the time.. that's survival mode.

Have you ever been called an "independent woman"? My guess is you're in survival mode if you have.

In this episode, Sandra breaks down what it really means to become self-led after years of living survival-built. For the black sheep woman who became strong, spicy, guarded, and responsible because softness never felt safe — this is your wake-up call. Sandra shares why she created Black Sheep Wake-Up , Black Sheep Reset , and her 6-month mentorship Self-Led Black Sheep to help women stop being le...

After years and decades of being dismissed & blamed for being the bad guy... Grief isn't going to look soft. Especially when you've never been taught or shown softness your entire life. Behind that anger is pitty. Pitty for family members that you care about that just don't get it and never will understand the realities of the world and of the damage they have done.

They're labeling you as the angry daughter or sister because if they didn't, they'd be forced to hold themselves accountable to their actions that made you "angry".

I don't think little girls should be labeled "tom boys." Especially plus-size girls. Because what starts as a nickname often becomes an identity. An identity that teaches women to hide, shrink, and believe certain versions of themselves belong to everyone else. This episode is about breaking that label—and meeting the woman underneath it.

"Angry daughers" weren't born angry and emotionless... she was taught that those things had conditions and consequences to them.

Breaking Survival Mode : for the women who were trained to survive before they were ever taught how to live. This is the heartbeat of the podcast! Moral Rebellion : for the conversations people are too scared to have out loud. We are talking about ethics, morals, values, respect, accountability, family dysfunction and the fact that society has absolutely lots its damn backbone. Built Different : t...

I don't think most women are lazy, broken, bitter or dramatic. I think a lot of women were trained to survive chaos and then shamed for not knowing how to live in peace.... Most of these women don't even know how to recognize peace safely let alone live it.

These lessons about a dysfunctional family are hard as hell to feel and acknowledge.... but healing is the ultimate reward after living in an environment like this. Happiness is the end goal and silence doesn't help that at all.