Damaged and Spicy

You're not angry. You're not bitter. You just spoke the truth one too many times and that jeopardized the ENTIRE family image.... so the family obviously needed to get creative.

Anger is just a surface level emotion that shows in specific scenarios and often earns women the label of "bitch, cunt, etc"... well I'm going to explain to you why anger is something also a protector of sorts.

How many women out there are hyper aware of EVERYONE AND EVERYTHING? Yeah that's a gift in some settings but not all the time.. that's survival mode.

Have you ever been called an "independent woman"? My guess is you're in survival mode if you have.

In this episode, Sandra breaks down what it really means to become self-led after years of living survival-built. For the black sheep woman who became strong, spicy, guarded, and responsible because softness never felt safe — this is your wake-up call. Sandra shares why she created Black Sheep Wake-Up , Black Sheep Reset , and her 6-month mentorship Self-Led Black Sheep to help women stop being le...

After years and decades of being dismissed & blamed for being the bad guy... Grief isn't going to look soft. Especially when you've never been taught or shown softness your entire life. Behind that anger is pitty. Pitty for family members that you care about that just don't get it and never will understand the realities of the world and of the damage they have done.

They're labeling you as the angry daughter or sister because if they didn't, they'd be forced to hold themselves accountable to their actions that made you "angry".

I don't think little girls should be labeled "tom boys." Especially plus-size girls. Because what starts as a nickname often becomes an identity. An identity that teaches women to hide, shrink, and believe certain versions of themselves belong to everyone else. This episode is about breaking that label—and meeting the woman underneath it.

"Angry daughers" weren't born angry and emotionless... she was taught that those things had conditions and consequences to them.

Breaking Survival Mode : for the women who were trained to survive before they were ever taught how to live. This is the heartbeat of the podcast! Moral Rebellion : for the conversations people are too scared to have out loud. We are talking about ethics, morals, values, respect, accountability, family dysfunction and the fact that society has absolutely lots its damn backbone. Built Different : t...

I don't think most women are lazy, broken, bitter or dramatic. I think a lot of women were trained to survive chaos and then shamed for not knowing how to live in peace.... Most of these women don't even know how to recognize peace safely let alone live it.

These lessons about a dysfunctional family are hard as hell to feel and acknowledge.... but healing is the ultimate reward after living in an environment like this. Happiness is the end goal and silence doesn't help that at all.

A daughter's self image can be deeply shaped by a mother who controls, criticizes, competes, dismisses or emotionally manipulates the narrative to fit their perfect image that's taken them years, even decades, to create.

Society gets uncomfortable when a conversation calls out a mother's dysfunctional behavior.... But some daughters grew up learning fear rather than love. So what about them??? Do those daughters not matter? That's What Society is saying when they feel uncomfortable or tell you "but she's your mother". They're saying they don't give a fuck about you.

First born daughters are often trained to be responsible, aware, productive & emotionally useful before they are allowed to simply be children. That's why you can't relax without feeling like you invaluable. That's why you can't ask for help without feeling like a burden. Episode One will tackle all of this and then some!

Some families don't raise children how they should.. they assign roles and then punish the child who refuses to keep playing the same twisted & sick game. The child who has a sturdy ass backbone, a well rounded understanding of ethics and a damn good head on their shoulders. Welcome to Damaged & Spicy, the podcast where we do not protect dysfunction just because it shares our last name.