Brian Chontosh
Crooked Butterfly Podcast
This is me, sharing where I'm arriving in thoughts, perspectives, and ideas after a dynamic 21 years serving in the Marine Corps and wrestling with "Who Am I"; authentically, and Who Do I Want To Be" now that the military construct is not forcibly shadowing my life. I've found that Nature and tackling the physical & emotional challenges of ultra endurance adventuring provide more insight and clarity on the why's of my experiences and the where's that I can seek for continued personal growth.
Author
Brian Chontosh
Category
Podcast website
Latest episode
Mar 11, 2026
Where to listen?
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Episodes
Keeping Agency & Self Regulation 11.03.2026 24:06
A lot going on in the world and life the last 2 weeks. Spent a good part of that time ruminating on a comment I received regarding the last episode.
Trading Hate for Hate 15.02.2026 24:33
Such a narrow narrow mindset.
What's The Lesson In This For Me 05.02.2026 26:12
Or maybe, there always doesn't have to be a lesson in everything all the time - so just flow a little bit.
Doing 'Hard' Is Relative & Needs To Be Purposeful 26.01.2026 25:23
Do Hard Things. Doing Hard for the sake of Hard is not really what it's about. It needs to be purposeful and is relative. Today's hard isn't the same as yesterdays. And the purpose may or may not be the same as it was. Just some thoughts as I am incredibly excited for The Spine UK in an way I can't quite describe or put my finger on.
Slow Down & Think; In Circles A Little Bit More 19.01.2026 33:14
Just some babble about not being so reactive with our opinions that it causes us to be irresponsible with our actions.
Where Did All The Ladies & Gentlemen Go 09.01.2026 20:45
Maybe it's just that I'm getting old and out of touch. Maybe not.
Power Outages, Being OK, & a Good Old Fashioned Apocalypse 02.01.2026 34:22
Happy New Year Everyone. Some thoughts leading into Christmas and the 2026 New Year.
Headphones & Anonymity 12.12.2025 17:10
The more I observe and talk about these things, the more I think I sound like my father.
36 Hour Fasts 06.12.2025 20:46
Sharing why I decided to start fasting once a week for 36 hours and where it took me.
Grape Thieves Suck 27.11.2025 20:59
I was checking in with myself around being so irritable, grumpy, negative, and complainy the past few days and made a commitment to auto-correct. Sharing my thought process and steps to unwind it all. It was working great until I went to Whole Foods...
Creating Culture 21.11.2025 25:06
I get asked quite a bit about how to create culture. The simple answer is you don't create it, you're living it. You don't start out with a blueprint of how to create a culture. You begin by living the values you've spent time thinking about and invested in upholding ruthlessly and consistently.
Little Less for A Greater More 13.11.2025 20:52
If you give a little of something you have to someone who needs a little of that something - the net value is greater. It might not work with the numbers & maths, but it's absolutely true for the things that matter most.
Tribe, Community, Brotherhood... 06.11.2025 18:42
Call it whatever you want, it still is so much more than can be described. You can't use loyalty to capture it and likely a distorted concept of loyalty would ruin what would be the greater part of the sentiment. Using our recent Annual Elk Camp Trip to try to build the picture of what I'm trying to talk about. Maybe it wasn't as well spoken as it feels or sits in my head & hear...
Do You Have Any Idea Who You're Talking To? 30.10.2025 19:15
I generally have to manage my first reaction & pop up thoughts anytime someone talks to me with their arms folded across their chest or hands on their hips. More so with strangers than with knowns, but even still. There's lot of suggested non verbal communication and room for misinterpretation for sure. However, the majority of the time there's a trend or pattern of something - righ...
Giving Grace to the Human Condition 23.10.2025 23:51
A little clean up from last week's ending. People are messy. Life is complex. I believe that most people are good and well intended. Driven be self-interest to varying degrees, but that doesn't necessarily mean we are wrong or bad. Giving some tolerance & allowance for each other and ourselves to be messy w/o a major character flaw indictment, to be personally ok when others show up...
From Spam to 'Consider the Source' 16.10.2025 38:00
Kind of a babble this evening talking about spam email & phone calls through feeling guilty or held hostage by those free return labels that come in the mail. Not sure what prompted me to start a little rant about shit talkers and gossip champs leading into 'consider the source'. But maybe there's a full circle in there somewhere. Mostly not a heavy or deep session other than ju...
Holding the Middle Ground 09.10.2025 43:53
I've been asked for my thoughts/opinions regarding the Pete Hegseth address in Quantico last week. I was reluctant to share for the better part of the last few days as I am with the Tim Kennedy Stolen Valor discussion. But here I am, not speaking about it politically and almost as a bit of a continuation from last weeks struggle bus regarding the world & our country's state of the hu...
Divided They Will Fall 03.10.2025 35:38
Seems like the world is crazy and so full of ignorance, hate, & confusion. Not sure what it's all about, how we got here, or if even half of it isn't just sensationalized. The last few weeks I can't seem to shake the 'looping' on it all. In my head, when I try to break away from productivity sprints to refresh & refocus, I feel consumed with frustration and sadness...
Let's Get Back After It 25.09.2025 24:25
After a long break, I'm digging back into sharing stories and my internal dialogue about life, leadership, and random thoughts. During my break I haven't been just slacking off; Connor and I have been writing a book on Leadership and these Identity Circles I've been working on. I've been engaged with a lot of material with Diesel Day & 'Checking In w/ the Left Hand&apo...
Persistence & the Wolf Spider 01.10.2024 22:27
Some story telling and reflections that a Wolf Spider gave me regarding Resilience and Persistence. How we've let learned behaviors get transferred into areas of our lives where they don't belong...
Thoughts from 1 Year of Sobriety 13.07.2024 24:57
Wrapping up a year of sobriety and processing the take-aways that I couldn't have scripted going into the journey.
Opinion, Advice, & Counsel 01.06.2024 25:21
I'm at no shortage of receiving conversations about what I could, should, or need to being doing; personally & professionally. Most of the time I'm required to wonder if I'm getting opinion, advice, or counsel. What I'm finding as a common theme is that the more someone offers answers vs questions, the quality ( for my best interest ) of what they are delivering goes lower...
Increased Capacity Doesn't Mean Increase Load Required 26.02.2024 48:52
Coming out of the trough (again) after a few really hard weeks of trying to simply hold on. As I get better and better at managing/ navigating these times I somehow still keep finding myself back in them. After a recent procedure in Annapolis, I'm finding myself happier & more productive than I've been in the past few years. I'm also in a place recognizing what needs to happen t...
Some Thoughts & Growth from the TN Mile 15.12.2023 42:17
Coming back from running a 40h marathon in TN and sharing some thoughts, observations, and where I'm focusing on personal growth.
Self Care & Boundaries 30.11.2023 1:04:00
Talking about the importance of Self Care not only for a leader but also as an example for their people. it's about creating an appropriate balance to keep operating levels for individuals at a high. We also introduce setting good boundaries for leaders and their relationships. Healthy boundaries that support growth, expectations, & professional relationships through consistency.
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