Crazy for Swayze

Pride Month continues with very special guest host and Resident Homosexual: Steven Fischer. Steven guides us through a movie that isn't quite-as-ignorant as Josh thought, and makes a 100% vibe-based Swayze Scale estimate. Josh correctly identifies Ari Aster as a dong-forward director, then immediately second-guesses himself thanks to Joe Rogan's friend, Ari Shaffir. Beth Grant, the Confederate Fla...

"That's why they call it the Magic Kingdom...." - Tim Troia, our first guest and resident Father Expert. In this Father's Day Very Special Episode, we watch a movie where systematic child abuse takes a back seat to the exploits of raddest bad dad of all

And we all lived happily ever after - no notes.

I AM AN FBI AGENT

The real Boondock Saints were the friends we made along the way

WARD WEEK: DOUBLE FREDDER! This bonus episode is a free-roaming romp through everyone's favorite White Trash Hero's Journey, guided only by the North Star of our patented Swayze Scale. We scour the depths of our teenage memories, dunk of Forrest Gump and Robert Zemeckis, and revisit a petty grievance with one Robert James Ritchie. 

It Will Leave You Legless! This is a TRIPLE Swayze Adjacent film with Fred Ward (Uncommon Valor, The Player), Sunshine Parker (Roadhouse), and Reba McEntire (Fox and the Hound 2). Josh is the sleepy one this time, but he still has QUESTIONS, aribtrarily changes his personal scale from 5 to 10 points,, compulsively clicks his pen, and changes Earl to Ernie Do graboids have fins? Why are they gender...

Every day is a hard day at work when your workplace is war. America's first quagmire continues and takes prisoners. Josh has questions about historical revisionism, sexual violence, and war crimes. Vince is a little sleepy, and doesn't have the answers to those questions.. EARLY CORRECTION: Buckles now has a black and gold  Wakandan Vibranium arm.

This ain't no bullshit biker acid trip, this is GENE HACKMAN. The Hack-man assembles an A-Team of scarred veterans to save his boy from his 10-year internment in a Vietnamese P.O.W. camp. But at what cost? This early Bring Our Boys Back! movie didn't quite capture the Zeitgeist like Rambo First Blood Part 2, despite the same director and an earlier release date

This week, your humble hosts cover a NEW Patrick Swayze TV-documentary that - frankly - we should have been in charge of. We target one white man whose job should be given to us (LARRY HACKETT: ABC CONTRIBUTOR). We finally put the finishing touches on "Everyone's Favorite Segment."

Secular dancing is the devil's foreplay in this week's installment of "Cock-blocked by Our Heavenly Daddy"

LOVE AND WAR. George and Orry meet their respective presidents. The Mains try their hands at spycraft. Blood brothers spot each other on opposite sides of the war. Everyone gets a wardobe upgrade. The Battle of Bull Run interrupts what would have been a nice day for a picnic.

What year was Vatican II? What year(s) was the Korean War? Why is the Army a Christian Missionary force? Bison tones and backronyms for a ska band called "M.A.S.H."

A monochromatic "artist" cons a hollywood exec into killing her loser boyfriend (Daredevil's Kingpin) and being her sugar daddy. Antics ensue. A surprisingly Swayze FILM from the Criterion Collection. It's only missing one thing.....

Swaye fights his brother, C. Thomas Howell, for the love of the original Scream Queen. Explosions, nipples, and just trying to have a nice breakfast at this week's DEMOLITION DERBY

Dana Carvey did 9/11 and The Masked Singer is an inside job

And they were just trying to have a nice dinner!

How and why do jockstraps work?

MORALLY BANKRUPT

Happy Valentine's Day! Patrick Swayze solves his own murder and becomes a poltergeist in the process. Big David Lynch and Sixth Sense vibes. We do Bruce Willis impressions and stan for Train Ghost

More exposition! More explosions! More trigger warnings! No war! Will Swayze reject slavery? Will Ashton find a partner who appreciates her talents? Will Meredith ever be free? This, AND MORE, on this week's installment of CIVIL WAR: PATRICK SWAYZE

Scuzzy Swayze seduces Mrs. Mr. Bean and winds up getting murdered for peeping. We had ONE rule....

Get ready to learn about post-Soviet Russian politics - it's spy time! In this 2-part TV movie based on the Fredrick Forsyth novel of the same name, Swayze plays an ex-CIA operative hired to get to the bottom of a bioterrorism plot. Mix in a Vladimir Putin stand-in, a Russian presidential election, and an estranged daughter, and you've got a regular Mission: Impossible. Aided by Basil Exposition a...

Swayze plays third fiddle to John Ritter's somehow more-reprehensible take on the Bad News Bears. We recommend a few better films. Y'all ever seen 8 Simple Rules For Dating My Teenage Daughter?

Strap in and choose your side (there's only one right answer) - it's time to Civil War! [TW: Sexual Assault, Human Slavery, Graphic Violence] Prepare yourself for some horrific material where we emphatically suggest Parental Guidance for both the source material and this podcast. George & Orry (representing the the titular North & South) struggle with the evils of slavery, nepotism, and getting la...