Crafting Solutions to Conflict

Courage in giving and receiving feedback can prevent negative conflict. Bill Treasurer, Chief Encouragement Officer, joins me to talk about courage in giving necessary and valuable feedback and having the courage to accept it without being defensive. Understanding how feedback will work best in a relationship, especially in the workplace, is best done before it goes south – and it is an ongoing pr...

  Template for Show Notes:   Title:  What to do about microaggressions   Episode Summary: Helping ourselves and others to avoid microaggressions reduces negative conflict.   Episode Notes: Helping ourselves and others to avoid microaggressions reduces negative conflict. Microaggressions, everyday slights that are based on stereotypes, can create unnecessary conflict. Comments, gestures, and other...

Microaggressions, everyday slights that are based on stereotypes, can create unnecessary conflict. Comments, gestures, and other expressions, whether intentional or unintentional, can feel like insults to the person on the receiving end. The first step is to be aware of what we are saying – and, especially, how it might be received.  Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An i...

Selling a business is not just a transaction, but a transition; support in that journey can help. In fact, the involvement of someone who works with the seller to address the emotional impact of a potential sale can help get the deal over the finish line. That person can also help the seller move forward without seller’s remorse. You can learn more about Denise and buy her book, The Seller’s Journ...

We can work to prevent pressure cookers when possible and to have personal pressure valves ready when we need them. Pressure cookers can easily create or aggravate negative conflict for ourselves and others. Some pressure cookers are inevitable and beyond our control. Other times, we can prevent them or minimize how severe they are. Either way, we can prepare to deal with pressure cookers by havin...

Silence can be as powerful as words. We usually think about words we use and how we say them when we consider conflict. Silence, too, matters. It can be damaging, hesitant, or a vehicle for acknowledgement and learning. We should think through what motivates our silence and how it can affect another person. Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about confl...

Approaching conflict with respect and humility allows people to engage with each other productively, not defensively. We discuss Jeremy’s involvement in martial arts, coaching, and how confidence can eliminate the desire to act with aggression.  I talked with Jeremy in February 2020. We didn’t know what the next few months would bring. This episode, Number 75, is published on June 3 (in the U.S.)...

Choosing the best location, including a neutral playing field, can help the odds of a challenging conversation being productive.  Considering where –home? a certain spot in the home? – to have a tough conversation can help as part of a recipe for success. If one person is especially unenthusiastic about the discussion and/or especially important (and they easily may be the same person), picking th...

The location for a challenging conversation can affect how productive that conversation will be. Consider where a tough workplace conversation might best take place: in a private place, off-site, somewhere else? It’s one factor in setting up for success. Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at ...

Families that successfully pass on family businesses also handle conflict successfully. Dennis explains that enterprising families that succeed over generations accept that conflict will happen and take steps, in advance, to manage it effectively. Policies, codes of conduct, and plans to allow individuals and family branches to leave the family are among the tools families can adopt. His most rece...

Practicing what you will say in a difficult conversation can lead to a better outcome. When you know that a difficult conversation is coming, you can prepare for it by practicing – out loud – how you will start your part of it. And if the words don’t roll off your tongue, try some others! Then try out what you might say as the conversation continues.   Do you have comments or suggestions about a t...

CINERGY ® Conflict Management Coaching includes a smart idea: think about what you know about past conflict experiences with another person.  If you can think, in advance of a difficult conversation, how you can avoid the pushing the hot buttons of someone you know, you will set yourself up for a more productive conversation. Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or q...

CINERGY ® Coaching builds conflict intelligence and makes conflict an opportunity for strengthening relationships. The CINERGY ® Model combines executive coaching, neuroscience, and conflict management principles. Cinnie described the seven stages of the CINERGY® Model of Conflict Management Coaching: C, Clarify the goal; I, Inquire about the situation; N, Name the elements; E, Explore choices; R,...

After a conflict has ended, we can benefit from some healthy reflection on it. We can learn from mistakes and also reinforce actions and words that were helpful. In this episode, I reflect on a recent encounter with a customer service rep, by phone. Some things went well – and I have room for improvement! Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflic...

The SWOT analysis used in business can also be used as an approach to look at our perspective on conflict.  A SWOT analysis considers Strengths, Weaknesses, Opportunities, and Threats. When using it to better understand our individual perspective on conflict, it’s important to resist the temptation – especially if you are risk-averse – to see only your weaknesses. You likely have strengths and act...

Rational planning and overcoming cognitive biases is always important – even more so when a pandemic is stretching across the globe.   Gleb has been focused on good decision-making, and how to help business leaders and others do it, for many years.  He shared some helpful tips in moving past our savanna-based instincts and more effectively facing the challenges we face today, including the current...

VUCA, or volatile, uncertain, complex, and ambiguous conditions provide fertile ground for conflict. We can’t change these conditions but can accept them and acknowledge the effects they have. Then we can make adjustments to deal with them as effectively as possible to minimize negative conflicts. Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict manage...

VUCA, or volatile, uncertain, complex, and ambiguous is a concept that is tailor-made for these times. As COVID-19 spreads across the globe, even one of the four ideas embedded in VUCA would invite conflict. All four is even more challenging. We can start to meet the challenge by acknowledging how turbulent these times are for ourselves and others. Then, let’s try to be a little more patient and c...

Dr. Nate Regier talks about the true meaning of compassion and its role in conflict. We discussed the core competencies of compassion and their role in leadership in the workplace. You can learn more about Nate’s work at   https://next-element.com/ and https://thecompassionmindset.com/ Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conf...

Meditation, mediation, and arbitration are all valuable processes – but they are not the same. Fortunately, it’s been a while since I had a conversation with someone who confused meditation and mediation. Mediation and arbitration, however, are confused on a regular basis. They have similarities, but also important differences. The most important distinction is who determines the outcome in each d...

Mediation can be a positive and practical solution to conflict in many more situations than most people realize. Divorce mediation for couples who want to end a marriage is the best-known use of mediation. Mediation can also be an effective option in schools, workplaces, extended families, public policy disputes, and many more areas. Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An i...

Charlie Pillsbury discusses the vision and work of Mediators Beyond Borders and his path to involvement with the organization. We hear first how Charlie came to the conflict and dispute resolution arena and then to MBBI. Charlie is currently MBBI’s Treasurer (in addition to his other work outside MBBI). The vision of MBBI is “Building a more peace ‘able’ world”. And its mission states that “MBBI b...

Expectations out of alignment – mine with yours – or mine with reality – cause conflict.  Seeing a vast selection of Valentine’s Day candy caused me to think about expectations. When they are not in sync, in a workplace, an extended family, or in a family enterprise, conflict can easily arise. The answer? Candid conversations. Speaking of Valentine’s Day, check out my friend Heidi Frei’s Valentine...

The Institute for Family Governance (IFG) conference last month highlighted how extended families can stay together through wise planning and resilience. IFG describes its mission as implementing strong governance that endures, by empowering beneficiaries through inter-generational planning.   The fourth annual IFG conference in New York City brought together advisors, consultants, and the familie...

Understanding individual perspectives on money can help families who value their legacy to stay connected for generations. Bhaj speaks from her personal experience and her work with families to find ways to help them forge their own paths forward as they seek to preserve their family and their wealth through generations. You can learn more about her work at  https://www.focusandsustain.com/ or  ht...