Crafting Solutions to Conflict

After a conflict has ended, we can benefit from some healthy reflection on it. We can learn from mistakes and also reinforce actions and words that were helpful. In this episode, I reflect on a recent encounter with a customer service rep, by phone. Some things went well – and I have room for improvement! Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflic...

The SWOT analysis used in business can also be used as an approach to look at our perspective on conflict.  A SWOT analysis considers Strengths, Weaknesses, Opportunities, and Threats. When using it to better understand our individual perspective on conflict, it’s important to resist the temptation – especially if you are risk-averse – to see only your weaknesses. You likely have strengths and act...

Rational planning and overcoming cognitive biases is always important – even more so when a pandemic is stretching across the globe.   Gleb has been focused on good decision-making, and how to help business leaders and others do it, for many years.  He shared some helpful tips in moving past our savanna-based instincts and more effectively facing the challenges we face today, including the current...

VUCA, or volatile, uncertain, complex, and ambiguous conditions provide fertile ground for conflict. We can’t change these conditions but can accept them and acknowledge the effects they have. Then we can make adjustments to deal with them as effectively as possible to minimize negative conflicts. Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict manage...

VUCA, or volatile, uncertain, complex, and ambiguous is a concept that is tailor-made for these times. As COVID-19 spreads across the globe, even one of the four ideas embedded in VUCA would invite conflict. All four is even more challenging. We can start to meet the challenge by acknowledging how turbulent these times are for ourselves and others. Then, let’s try to be a little more patient and c...

Dr. Nate Regier talks about the true meaning of compassion and its role in conflict. We discussed the core competencies of compassion and their role in leadership in the workplace. You can learn more about Nate’s work at   https://next-element.com/ and https://thecompassionmindset.com/ Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conf...

Meditation, mediation, and arbitration are all valuable processes – but they are not the same. Fortunately, it’s been a while since I had a conversation with someone who confused meditation and mediation. Mediation and arbitration, however, are confused on a regular basis. They have similarities, but also important differences. The most important distinction is who determines the outcome in each d...

Mediation can be a positive and practical solution to conflict in many more situations than most people realize. Divorce mediation for couples who want to end a marriage is the best-known use of mediation. Mediation can also be an effective option in schools, workplaces, extended families, public policy disputes, and many more areas. Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An i...

Charlie Pillsbury discusses the vision and work of Mediators Beyond Borders and his path to involvement with the organization. We hear first how Charlie came to the conflict and dispute resolution arena and then to MBBI. Charlie is currently MBBI’s Treasurer (in addition to his other work outside MBBI). The vision of MBBI is “Building a more peace ‘able’ world”. And its mission states that “MBBI b...

Expectations out of alignment – mine with yours – or mine with reality – cause conflict.  Seeing a vast selection of Valentine’s Day candy caused me to think about expectations. When they are not in sync, in a workplace, an extended family, or in a family enterprise, conflict can easily arise. The answer? Candid conversations. Speaking of Valentine’s Day, check out my friend Heidi Frei’s Valentine...

The Institute for Family Governance (IFG) conference last month highlighted how extended families can stay together through wise planning and resilience. IFG describes its mission as implementing strong governance that endures, by empowering beneficiaries through inter-generational planning.   The fourth annual IFG conference in New York City brought together advisors, consultants, and the familie...

Understanding individual perspectives on money can help families who value their legacy to stay connected for generations. Bhaj speaks from her personal experience and her work with families to find ways to help them forge their own paths forward as they seek to preserve their family and their wealth through generations. You can learn more about her work at  https://www.focusandsustain.com/ or  ht...

When someone raises a concern or makes a suggestion, we can choose to react, reply, or respond. It’s worth the effort to think through whether we want to react quickly and briefly, offer a slightly more thorough reply, or an even more thoughtful and engaging response. Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? L...

Change is one thing that we can count on to occur. In interpersonal conflict, changing conditions can provide an opportunity to move past an impasse or stalemate. Priorities, people, outside conditions, and factual information can all change – and the chance to revisit the impasse opens up. Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or...

Jürgen Strauss, of Innovabiz and the Innovabuzz podcast, offers experienced-based insights on innovation and cross-cultural communication.  Jürgen’s work in the corporate world included managing teams across different cultures and countries in Asia and Australia. That experience and his ongoing interest innovation enrich his current work, helping small businesses to embrace transformational market...

The inaugural year of the podcast was great; more insightful guests and helpful tips are on tap for 2020! Join the global audience and enjoy. Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at  jb@dovetailresolutions.com ! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY®...

The concept of Christianity’s Golden Rule can be found in major religions around the world. Treating others as we wish to be treated is a universal principle in world religions and considered by some to be an ethical bedrock. In the context of interpersonal conflict, it’s important to remember that the idea is about how we behave in relationship to one another. It’s not that everyone agrees with u...

A proverb about family wealth proclaims that it won’t last over the generations. The U.S. version is “shirtsleeves to shirtsleeves in three generations”. Other countries use other language, but the idea is universal and of long-standing: a family can build wealth but will not be able preserve it over generations. This possibility – some claim it’s a near guarantee – causes stress and conflict over...

Arielle Nóbile of Legacy Connections Films talks about how families can become closer by preserving family stories. We discussed how family films can bring families together, through the process of making them, viewing them, and having them preserved for the future. In some instances, families can heal a rift and move past a conflict that has plagued an earlier generation.  You can learn more abou...

At times, we can handle conflict better when we let some things go.  The release of the movie Frozen 2 has brought to life the song from the original Frozen, “Let it Go”. In situations of potential, active, or even past conflict, we can sometimes serve ourselves and the relationship we care about if we just Let it Go.  Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question...

We benefit when we give thanks for the good intentions behind others' conduct, even if we don't always appreciate the conduct itself. When we don’t like the conduct, we may assign a negative motivation to it, when in fact good intentions are the source. We may be able to avoid damaging conflict if we can try to focus on the positive intention.  Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or...

Phyllis Weiss Haserot champions the power of cross-generational conversation and collaboration. Phyllis focuses on addressing knowledge transfer, succession planning, and attracting and retaining clients and employees of different generations. In our conversation, she provides some tips and ideas, and explains the terms “GENgagment ™” and “collaborageism”. You can learn more about Phyllis and acce...

We can easily think that our preferred way is superior. That’s not necessarily so and we can avoid negative conflict when we keep that in mind. Our own preferred way, the familiar way, the easy way, the default isn’t always better. Keeping that in mind can help us see conflict as good, not necessarily bad. Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about confli...

When our role is to welcome a person, and not to select, we would do well to remember that. It can be hard to keep our opinions to ourselves about the choices, especially personal ones, that someone else makes. Yet we can avoid unnecessary, and often futile, negative conflict when we do.  Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or c...

The so-called soft issues are the human ones –those that can keep caring family members awake at night. When advisors to wealthy families focus only on the “hard” issues – investment returns, tax strategies, and other purely financial concerns – they may fall short on client service. Susan discusses a more comprehensive approach to addressing issues that truly matter to these families. Susan menti...