Couples Therapy In Seven Words

For the video of this episode, go to https://youtu.be/FBplUljRg6w . What is Post Betrayal Syndrome? Our guest in this episode is Dr. Debi Silber, who is the founder of the Post Betrayal Transformation Institute. She describes three discoveries about betrayal from her Ph. D. research, and then talks about five stages along the way from betrayal to transformation. Dr. Silber’s website is https://the...

Welcome to Short Take #3. In this series Judy and I talk about some of our (well, mostly my) favorite topics in bite-size morsels. Today’s topic: Stability vs. Intimacy—Can We Have Both? Why are both stability and intimacy necessary for a relationship to thrive? Why do they require different—even conflicting—skills?   Please subscribe and review us! Visit our podcast website, ctin7.com , for more...

For the video of this episode, go to https://youtu.be/ftqRVeBptqs. What is Radical Moderation? And how can that idea help heal the hyper-polarization that characterizes not only politics but family relationships these days? Our guest in this episode, Professor Lauren Hall, tells us about her work and how she came to it. As Judy mentions early in the interview, I (Bruce) have called myself a radica...

See the video of this episode here . Our guest in this episode, Dr. Bonnie Comfort, was married for 33 years to a man she deeply loved and who deeply loved her. And they remained married until his death from cancer. A beautiful story with a sad ending—but, as is always true, not the whole story. Bonnie tells us about the struggles she and her husband went through, particularly around issues of sex...

Welcome to Short Take #2. In this series Judy and I talk about some of our (well, mostly my) favorite topics in bite-size morsels. Today’s topic: Rethinking ADHD Is ADHD a disease, or even a disorder?  Or is it a description of one end of a spectrum? Why does the distinction matter? I talk about a recent New York Times article in which long-time ADHD researchers describe how they are re-examining...

For the video of this episode, go to https://brucechalmer.com/emily-jamea/ . If you’re having trouble with sex in your relationship, you might want to consult a sex therapist, and our guest today, Dr. Emily Jamea, is precisely that. But what if it’s not about problems—what if what you want is to get past “good-enough” sex to levels you’ve only dreamed about? Well, Emily is all about that as well....

For the video of this episode, go to https://brucechalmer.com/charity-sinclair/ . As our guest in this episode, Charity Sinclair, puts it, “I’ve been on a lot of shit dates. No, really—literally shit dates.” Dates, she means, in which the guy was carrying around a stool sample. Or was carrying around dog shit. And, she says, she’d take a shit date over a toxic date any time. In our conversation, C...

For the video of this episode, go to https://brucechalmer.com/matt-digeronimo/ . We live in polarized times. It’s hard to have conversations across the great divide—as soon as we detect signs that someone we’re talking to is on the other side, we tend to shut down our ability to hear and think about what they’re saying. Our guest in this episode, Matt DiGeronimo, is a Navy veteran who realized whe...

Welcome to Short Takes! In this series Bruce and Judy talk about some of their (well, mostly Bruce’s) favorite topics in bite-size morsels. Today’s topic: The Dread Disease, “Hardening of the Categories”   Please subscribe and review us! Visit our podcast website, ctin7.com , for more about our podcast, access to past episodes, and links to contact us to make suggestions and sign up for a time to...

For the video of this episode, go to https://brucechalmer.com/rabbi-shlomo-slatkin/ . Can a couple who have fallen out of love regain their passion for each other? What is Imago Relationship Therapy, and how can it help? Our guest in this episode, Rabbi Shlomo Slatkin, is the founder of the Marriage Restoration Project, which offers intensive retreats, group workshops, and online courses. Rabbi Sl...

For the video of this episode, go to https://brucechalmer.com/found-out-my-father-had-been-cheating/ . What would you do if you found out at your father’s funeral that he had been having affairs? Your father, whom you had loved, honored, and trusted? Recently I’ve talked with several people in similar situations. Judy and I talk about how they might work on healing from that kind of betrayal. We a...

For the video of this episode, go to https://brucechalmer.com/craig-mattson/ . Do you ever find yourself drowning in digital stimulation and demand? How does digital overwhelm in work life relate to life as a couple? Our guest in this episode is Craig Mattson, a professor of communication who has studied the disconnection and intensity many workers feel in their work lives. And as a person of fait...

For the video of this episode, go to https://brucechalmer.com/leah-spasova/ . Our guest in this episode, Leah Spasova, is the CEO of LifeSexperts, which offers coaching and training to individuals, couples, and organizations about healthy relationships. We talk with her about her multi-layered approach to helping couples with sex and relationship issues. Leah’s website is https://www.lifesexperts....

For the video of this episode, go to https://brucechalmer.com/wilk-wilkinson/ . We’ve had many wonderful guests, and like parents with their children, I don’t want to compare them. But I do think this is one of our most important episodes. Our guest, Wilk Wilkinson, is a Christian conservative who has taken on the mission of helping this country heal from what he terms toxic polarity. Through his...

For the video of this episode, go to https://brucechalmer.com/rachel-macneill/ . Are you in a sexless marriage? Our guest in this episode, Dr. Rachel MacNeill, is a pelvic floor physical therapist who specializes in helping people with intimacy issues. She also helps people with urinary incontinence (did you know that Kegels are usually not the answer? I didn’t!). Among the sexual issues we talk a...

For the video of this episode, go to https://brucechalmer.com/kristen-williamson/ . What is it like to be “neurospicy”? How does neurodivergence affect relationships? Our guest in this episode is Kristen Williamson, the self-proclaimed “queen of chaos.” Judy and I had a delightful time with Kristen—she exudes a contagious joy, and I hope you’ll catch it too by tuning into this episode. Kristen’s w...

For the video of this episode, go to https://brucechalmer.com/becky-whetstone/ . When one partner in a relationship tells the other, “I think I want out,” their relationship will never be the same. They might break up, or they might stay together, but either way they’ll have a new relationship. Our guest in this episode, Dr. Becky Whetstone, works with couples dealing with that relationship crisis...

For the video of this episode, go to https://brucechalmer.com/daniel-cohen/ . Our guest in this episode is Rabbi Daniel Cohen. Rabbi Cohen has written about how you can “reverse-engineer” your life, so you can live now in ways that will help shape the kind of legacy you want to leave at the end of your life. We talk with Rabbi Cohen about how we can learn to recognize and cultivate “Elijah moments...

How can EFT and attachment theory help couples develop secure, rewarding, lasting relationships? Our guest in this episode is Julie Menanno, a therapist, author, and Instagram creator with over 1.3 million followers. We talk about how she works with couples, and how Bruce’s seven words (“Be kind, don’t panic, and have faith”) map onto the concepts that guide her work. Julie’s website is https://ww...

For the video of this episode, go to https://brucechalmer.com/andrew-davies/ . Improv is all about spontaneity, fun, listening, and being willing to play. How can improv help you improve your relationships, romantic or otherwise? Our guest in this episode, Andrew Davies, combines his love and training in theater and Judaism, and beings the joy of improv to children and adults of all ages. We had f...

For the video of this episode, go to https://brucechalmer.com/four-things-your-therapist-wants-you-to-know/ . What should you know before you start therapy? Christina Caron wrote an article about that in the New York Times (link below), and Judy and I talk about the four things Caron wrote about, and apply them specifically to couples therapy. As we discuss, therapy is often fluid, especially with...

For the video of this episode, go to https://brucechalmer.com/gregory-diehl/ . Our guest in this episode, Gregory Diehl, describes himself as a Romantic Idealist, which, he explains is a fundamentally hopeless position since perfection is impossible. And he remains an idealist even as his own love life hasn’t yet come to fruition. We talk about his ideas about the complementarity of masculinity an...

For the video of this episode, go to https://brucechalmer.com/jack-kammer/ . Talking about gender issues can be a minefield. Talking about ways in which not only women, but men too are victims of implicit bias can get you canceled—as evidenced by what happened to our guest’s book when he wrote about that. Our guest, Jack Kammer, has the distinction of being a target of cancel culture before the te...

For the video of this episode, go to https://brucechalmer.com/diversity-diagnosis-and-nonsense/ . Okay, I (Bruce) get to rant in this one. Bring on the arguments! How does the good idea of diversity turn into the ideology that makes universities insist that candidates for faculty positions sign loyalty oaths? How does the good idea of understanding the experience of trans people turn into the ideo...

For the video of this episode, go to https://brucechalmer.com/sophie-orozco/ . What can you do if your husband tells you he no longer loves you, and is ending your marriage? Do you have to just give up? Our guest in this episode, Sophie Orozco, faced that very situation. And her friends, advisors, and therapists told her to just accept it and move on. But Sophie was determined to find a better out...