Confidence Coaching with Heidi Benjaminsen

Everybody is worthy of love.  Everyone.  The amount of love we feel towards another person measures OUR capacity to love, NOT anything about that person.  If anyone doesn't love us, it says nothing about us.  We can love others and not love their actions.  Learn how you can choose to love someone and how it can change your life.

Our ability to love others is only equal to our ability to love ourselves.  Only we have the power to change the way we talk to ourselves, how we offer kindness and compassion to ourselves.  Heidi teaches you WHY we need to develop self-compassion and tools to help you center your mind, heart so you can love yourself more.  Which then leads to a lot more love for others!

Everyone wants to change the world but no one wants to change the toilet paper roll.  Heidi teaches how big change always starts small and why we might resist it.  Priming our brain with little small daily changes creates a new identity that we can change and makes our brain more open to new ideas, solutions and makes future changes much easier.

Emotional maturity involves understanding why and how we "mirror" or reflect the emotions of others around us.  Heidi teaches us how mirroring can show empathy or connection.  But it can often bring more negativity into our lives if we aren't careful.  Listen to hear several examples of what it is and how to control your emotions (and then how you act!).

Before you set a goal, ask yourself two very important questions.  The answers to these questions will help you plan how you will actually achieve the goal and give you the necessary fuel to help you overcome the obstacles that come along the way.  This episode includes a bonus interview with my nephew Rhys Edwards.  Learn how he is working towards a big goal - some good insight for everyone!

Many people keep repeating the past over and over because they don't take the time to look forward, to look to their future self and ask who they want to become.  Creating a future of our dreams requires us to use creativity and imagination.  Listen to Heidi as she will walk you through exercises to picture your future self, and how this future YOU can advise you on what to think and feel TODAY to...

The new year is a great time to evaluate what you WANT to bring with you into 2020.  Are there any people, stories you retell yourself over and over or habits you'd like to leave in 2019?  We can only change and improve when we create space for new and better in our lives.  Listen and evaluate what you can leave in the past!

Heidi shares with you four of her favorite thoughts that can help you make shifts from negativity and victimhood to feeling empowered, in control and the hero of you life.  They are small tweaks in how you see the world, how you view other people - who are really trying the best they know how.  It's wonderful to see a full life as evidence of blessings instead of burdens.  A few small changes can...

We want a perfect holiday dinner, to give the best gifts, for other people to be happy with everything going on.  We set ourselves up for major disappointment and resentment with extremely high holiday expectations.  Heidi gives you tips to examine what your expectations are, information for what you can and can't control and steps to manage your expectations.  Because it will absolutely be perfec...

Forgiveness isn't what you think it is.  It isn't apologies or being around someone again.  Forgiveness is changing how we feel.  Plain and simple.  This change comes when we are ready to change what we think about a person or situation, which creates a new feeling.  Forgiveness is a gift we give ourselves and it doesn't affect the other person (unless they want to change how they think!).  It is...

Many people find themselves in a state of "overwhelm".  Did you know overwhelm is 100% created in our minds?  It isn't a real thing.  It is the drama we create about the facts of our life.  It is our thoughts spinning in our heads like the spinning cup rides at amusement parks!  Get off the ride!  Heidi teaches you what overwhelm REALLY is and how to avoid it.

There are two tips of pain that we experience in life - clean pain is the natural occurring consequences and emotion of things that happen in life.  Dirty pain is the optional suffering we inflict on ourselves - when we tell ourselves we are bad or something has gone wrong because of the clean pain.  Understanding the difference allows us to access resiliency, gratitude and positive energy even th...

Are you a Good Mom?  Find out what the definition of a good mom is and why it matters that you consciously define what you expect from yourself.  Your children's moods, grades, accomplishments, etc do NOT determine if you are good or not.  Hear how you can build up your confidence that you are the BEST mother for your children without needing anything or anyone to tell you!

Gratitude is a choice.  We have to intentionally choose to find the good and train our brain to acknowledge the positive in life.  A grateful mind can heal our bodies and help us live longer.  Listen to hear the 2 components of gratitude and surprising side effects of being grateful.

Learn 5 ways that Joy is stolen from us and 5 ways to increase the Joy we feel in life.  Joy Thieves include worry, comparison, perfectionism and more.  Joy increases when we practice gratitude and see our life through the lense of abundance, not scarcity.     Dr. Brene Brown www.heidibenjaminsen.com

Your identity and what you believe about yourself has the greatest affect on what you accomplish in life.  Real lasting change doesn't happen in our habits or actions - it happens when we change what we believe about ourselves - when we can start identifying as a person consistent with the results we want to have in life.  Heidi teaches you why this is so important with her own experience and how...

We all love to say yes, which comes at a cost if we commit to too much or neglect parts of our life that really are important to us.  Learn WHY it is so important to prioritize your time and learn HOW to say NO when you need to.  Without explaining yourself.  Because only YOU can decide what is important to you!

Do you have someone in your life who is difficult, toxic or annoying?  Everyone does - the good news is they don't have to change at all for you to feel different around them.  Listen to several fantastic tools Heidi teaches for how to manage your emotions around these people and show up the way you want to feel and act around them.  Once you can ask a few questions about this person, you'll start...

We are generally aware of how we are feeling, but often we don't know what is creating that emotion in our body.  It isn't something outside of us or a situation creating the emotion - it is always one of our 50,000+ daily thoughts creating the feelings we experience.  Heidi walks you through several scenarios to show you the important of slowing down and being conscious of the (optional!) thought...

Heidi teaches a great mental tool to help you maintain emotional control - and get out of everyone else's brains!  We don't have to interpret the things people say or do as meaning anything about us - even when directed at us.  Heidi goes through several examples of how applying this mental trick relieves mental stress and allows us to show up as a higher version of ourselves.

We have 50,000+ thoughts a day about circumstances around us and our life.  Our thoughts are optional but seem so true and real and unchangeable.  Gaining awareness of our thoughts and how we interpret the world is the most empowering things we can do.  This awareness allows us to have true emotional control and create our dreams!

Self-confidence is the fuel and energy of our growth, success and goals.  Without it, we are stuck in the past reliving what we know we can do.  Self-confidence is our belief in ourselves, regardless of our wins or losses, it is our ability to feel any emotion (especially the emotions of growth like discomfort, nervousness, fear) and no one can take it from us.  Learn how to squash your self-doubt...

Most people believe negative emotions like sadness, grief, loneliness, embarrassment, shame, etc are bad and should be avoided.  This isn't true.  Negative emotions are necessary for our growth and to fully experience this life.  We need these emotions to comprehend the positive emotions.  Heidi teaches the purpose of negative emotions and how to allow them (not resist, react or avoid).

In life there are three lanes - 1 - our lane, 2 - other people's lanes and 3 - God's lane.  Knowing what happens in each lane gives us power to control our lane and release control over things really not in our responsibility.

Heidi shares the foundation coaching tools she uses in her practice.  This tool was developed by Brooke Castillo, founder of The Life Coach School.  Heidi defines Circumstances, which trigger Thoughts which create Feelings, which fuel Actions, which create Results in our lives. She gives examples of each and clearly explains how thoughts and feelings are different from facts or circumstances in li...