Confessions of a Reformed Control Freak

Have you ever asked yourself where common sense comes from? Are we born with it? If we are born with it, how do we get it? Why do some people seem to have more of it than others? If something makes perfect sense to you, shouldn't it make perfect sense to everyone else? Common sense is defined as sound prudent judgement based on a simple perception of the situation or facts. Common sense sugges...

Attitude - your attitude is an organic state of readiness to respond characteristically to a stimulus, an object, a concept or a situation. Your attitude is 100 percent in your control. It's a choice you get to make 100 percent of the time. You can look at the bad things that will happen to you negatively, or as an opportunity to grow - a chance to learn the lesson it is trying to teach you an...

When I was first promoted to manager, I thought that being a good manager meant having all the answers. I thought it meant I had to be an expert at doing everything. Being a good manager meant that, since I would be held accountable for the results, I might as well make all the decisions. After all, isn't that what good managers and leaders do? Isn't that why I was promoted in the first pl...

Making tough decisions carries risks, and inevitably, not everyone will agree with the decisions you have to make. Managing and leading others is not a popularity contest. Handling uncomfortable situations can be difficult, but if you have built a relationship based on trust and mutual respect with those you work with and interact with, chances are they will take a leap of faith knowing that you h...

If you look up the meaning of empathy in the dictionary, it means being aware of and sharing another person's feelings, experiences, and emotions. Empathy is the action of understanding. Why is trying to see things from another person's point of view considered taboo? When did empathy become a bad thing? Listening - really listening to someone is as essential to communication as speaking....

The world of work is constantly changing. What are you doing to help yourself and your management team to keep pace with those changes. Are the leadership skills that got you here the same skills that will get you and your management team to where you need to go to lead in these uncertain times? Listen to my latest Confessions of a Reformed Control Freak Podcast and discover the four key leadershi...

True leaders develop more leaders, not grow more followers. True leaders understand that their role is to bring people together with different skill sets, teach them what they need to know and do, and then get out of their way and let them do it. Are you leading or just managing? Listen to this Confessions of a Reformed Control Freak Podcast and discover the four skills that you need to master to...

Henry Mintzberg, Cleghorn Professor of Management at McGill University in Montreal, Quebec, and author of nearly two dozen books on management, first coined that phrase - 'Management is Leadership Practiced Well' in his groundbreaking book - 'Managers NOT MBAs - A Hard Look at the Soft Practice of Managing and Management Development.' When you get right down to it, whether you hold the title of ma...

This is not the time to rest on your laurels. The workplace is evolving, and you need to adapt to these changes. The way you managed and led others got you to where you are, but that approach may not take you and your team to where you need to go. It's becoming increasingly evident that soft skills—your ability to communicate and interact more effectively with others—are essential leadership s...

Motivation is defined as the reason or reasons one has for acting and behaving in a certain way to achieve a specific result. Motivation is inside out - never outside in. Everyone is self-motivated. You can't make someone do something that they don't want to do unless you have something they want. If you know their WIIFM - What's In It For Me - and you have the authority to grant it, y...

Have you ever met someone for the first time and thought, Oh Yuck, what a DINK? And I don't mean Double Income No Kids. You didn't know why; there was just something about them that you didn't like. But after you spent time with them and got to know them better, you changed your mind. Establishing a rapport and building a relationship with the people you work with and interact with is...

Do you know me? I'm looking over your shoulder, waiting for you to make a mistake so I can point out everything you've done wrong. My way is always the best. I need to be in charge, and want everyone to know about it. I'm your classic control freak. I'm robbing you of your opportunity to grow because I haven't learned to give up control to get control. I haven't learned how...

We are who we are and act the way we act because that's who we are. But that might not be a good thing. A strength overused or used in the wrong situation can become a weakness. When you identify why you do what you do, you can learn to modify your behaviour to get a more favourable result. You can learn to act in a way that will get you what you want because you know if you act the way you us...

We are who we are and act the way we act because we are who we are. We are born with a particular style - a certain way of behaving that is engrained in us at a very young age. You can't take the stripes off a tiger or rub the spots off a leopard. It's in their DNA. We must embrace who we are and amplify our strengths instead of wasting time trying to improve our weaknesses. It's only...

Your ability to manage your emotions and recognize and influence the feelings of others is considered an essential skill. We live in a hi-tech world, but your soft skills - empathy, patience, open-mindedness, and ability to communicate, listen and establish trust with others will play a significant role in your success. If you can't connect emotionally with those you work with and interact wit...

Communication isn't just something - communication is everything. I can't think of a more valuable skill than having the ability to communicate effectively, regardless of gender or generation. Communicating is a two-way street. It's an exchange of thoughts and ideas amongst one or more persons. If the essence of communication is to send the message and have it received as you intended...

A new year shuffles in a whole new set of possibilities. It allows us to throw out the old and bring in the new. However, a new year will be the same as the old year unless you take a moment to reflect on the past, re-energize, plan and focus on the year ahead. Listen to my latest podcast. I've listed a series of questions you must answer so you don't use the same excuses next year for not accompl...

We all start our management careers by making certain assumptions based on our perceptions of what a manager or leader should be, but we know our assumptions can be wrong. And I'm no exception. I've committed each one of these ten sins at one time or another in my 40-pus-year career as general manager of a major retailer, college professor and an award-winning entrepreneur. You get to decide what...

You can't suck and blow in the same breath. You can do one or the other, but you can't do both at the same time. I have a soft spot for service providers, having spent over 30 years as general manager for a major retailer and a small business owner. Profit and being profitable are not a dirty word. When small businesses go out of business, the whole community suffers. You have a choice. You can pa...

Soft skills are people skills. They are your ability to communicate and interact more effectively with others. They are your ability to negotiate and resolve conflict, devise creative solutions to problems, build collaborative teams and motivate others to perform at their best. Soft skills are the new currency in today's multi-generational, diverse workplace. Listen to my latest podcast to discove...

Emotional intelligence / soft skills are the ability to understand, use, and manage your emotions positively to reduce stress, communicate more effectively, empathize with others, overcome challenges, and defuse conflicts. In his ground-breaking book - 'Working With Emotional Intelligence' Daniel Goleman said it best. 'We are being judged by a new yardstick; not just how smart we are or by our tra...

In organizations where people trust and believe in each other, they don't get into regulating and coercing behaviours. They don't need a policy for every mistake. People in these trusting environments respond with enormous commitment and creativity. Leaders walk their talk; in true leaders, there is no gap between the theories they espouse and their practice. Now more than ever, we need leaders we...

One thing you need to understand is that you are not going to change your boss. They've successfully managed and led others a certain way, so they think they don't need to change. The key to working with your boss and living to tell about it is to work with them in a way they like. How do they prefer to communicate and interact with others, receive information, resolve conflict, solve prob...

We aren't born knowing how to manage and lead others successfully; it's a learned behaviour. You can learn how to communicate and interact more effectively, build collaborative teams, resolve conflict, find creative ways to solve problems and motivate others to perform at their best. Don't just let your management career happen to you. You must be more strategic in defining your manage...

EQ—Emotional Quotient—is also known as emotional intelligence or soft skills. It is the ability to understand, use, and manage your emotions in positive ways to reduce stress, communicate effectively, empathize with others, overcome challenges, and defuse conflicts. Sixty-seven percent of the competencies needed to manage and lead are emotionally based. If you can't connect emotionally with th...