Confessions of a Parent Coach

What if the thing making parenting feel so high-stakes isn't the actual moment… but the pressure to prove you already know what you're doing? In this episode of Confessions of a Parent Coach, Ann explores the idea of "beginner's mind"—the practice of bringing openness, curiosity, and non-attachment to moments we've done a thousand times before. Because here's the sneaky thing: when we decide a mom...

Sometimes we come to coaching because we want an answer. Should I stay or go? Should I say the thing or let it go? Should I push harder, back off, make the decision, fix the problem, get from Point A to Point B already? Totally fair. We are busy people with busy lives and nervous systems that would really appreciate a clear next step, thank you very much. But sometimes, when we get too focused on...

Sometimes the conflict in your house is not really about the backpack on the floor. Rude. Annoying. Deeply inconvenient. Yes. But not really the whole thing. In this episode of Confessions of a Parent Coach, Ann Kaplan explores one of the core ideas from The Anatomy of Peace: what if the conflict in your life is less about the other person's behavior and more about how you're seeing them? This one...

What if the thing you're calling "responsibility" is actually a story keeping you exhausted? In this episode of Confessions of a Parent Coach, Ann Kaplan talks about the mental load of motherhood, the sneaky trap of believing everything will fall apart without us, and why stepping away can be one of the most loving things we do — not just for ourselves, but for our partners and kids, too. Ann shar...

Why do the same difficult relationship patterns keep showing up? Maybe it is with a parent, partner, child, friend, or coworker. The person may change, but the emotional experience feels strangely familiar. You feel triggered, misunderstood, defensive, or pulled into a version of yourself you do not want to be. Here's what's really going on: some of our hardest relationships reveal the deeper less...

You know that thing you genuinely want to do — the thing you know would make your life better? The parenting support. The break. The healing work. The boundaries. The retreat. Putting the phone down. Actually slowing down. So why are you still not doing it? In this episode of Confessions of a Parent Coach, Ann Kaplan unpacks the surprisingly emotional reason we resist the very things we say we wan...

What if the thing you keep talking yourself out of is actually the thing your soul needs most? In this deeply personal episode of Confessions of a Parent Coach, I'm unpacking a question I genuinely don't have a perfectly polished answer for yet: Why do we so often say yes to things that drain us… and no to the things that could truly nourish and transform us? As I prepare for my annual parenting a...

What if the problem isn't your child's behavior… but the way that behavior impacts you? In this deeply honest episode of Confessions of a Parent Coach, Ann Kaplan returns to the powerful thread she began in Episodes 157, 159, and 160 — conversations about polarities, impossible situations, and personal power — and brings them together in a final, integrative discussion about parenting, self-regula...

What if your child's struggles aren't evidence that you failed them… but part of what makes them them? In this deeply personal and emotionally layered episode, Ann Kaplan explores one of the most confronting parts of the Enneagram: the childhood experience associated with each type — and why it can feel so painful for parents to hear. Ann shares honestly about her own current season of identity de...

This is one of those episodes that might sting a little… and also might be the biggest exhale you've had in a while. Because if you're a thoughtful parent—if you care this much—you've probably already had the thought: "What if I'm messing them up?" So instead of dancing around it, we're just going to tell the truth: You are. We all are. And that's not actually the problem. In this episode, I'm sha...

What if who you think you are… isn't actually you? In this episode, we're diving into one of the most important (and often misunderstood) distinctions in the Enneagram: Essence vs Personality. Because most of us aren't living from our true self—we're operating from patterns that were formed to protect us. And until you can see that clearly, you'll keep repeating the same reactions, the same confli...

If you've ever felt like you're doing everything for everyone else… and still somehow questioning your worth… This conversation is going to hit. In this episode, I'm joined by my longtime friend, client, and retreat chef, Andrew, as part of the Ennea Chats series — real conversations with real people about how the Enneagram actually shows up in everyday life. Andrew is an Enneagram Type 2, and wha...

Most people use the Enneagram to figure out who they are. But what if that's not actually the point? What if it's showing you what's getting in your way? This week's episode is a little different—and honestly, one of my favorites. I sat down with my oldest son, Elijah, and we talked about the Enneagram… but not in the way you usually hear it talked about. Not "what type are you?" Not "here's how t...

If the Enneagram feels like a box… you're not wrong. But you might be stopping at the part that was never the point. In this episode, I'm unpacking the biggest misunderstanding people have about the Enneagram—and why it can feel limiting, reductive, or even a little insulting at first. Because here's the truth: The Enneagram isn't here to define you. It's here to show you where you're stuck—and ho...

Most of the arguments you keep having? They're not actually about what you think they're about. It's two people—each running a completely different internal system— trying to prove their version of reality is the right one. And once you see it, you can't unsee it. In this episode, I sit down with my sister Ren (a Seven) and we break down what the Enneagram actually reveals in real life—why you rea...

Sometimes the hardest situations in life feel impossible for a reason. You can't change the other person. You can't force the situation to be different. And every option available to you feels like a bad one. So what do you do then? In this episode, Ann explores what happens when we're stuck in situations that genuinely cannot be fixed or controlled. Whether that's a difficult family dynamic, a co...

What do you do when there's no solution to a problem that deeply affects you or your kids? In this episode, Ann explores a concept that can feel both frustrating and freeing: impossible situations. These are the moments in life where something needs to change—but the reality is that it won't. Maybe it's: 💔 A parent who can't give you the relationship you hoped for ⚡ A co-parent who stays committ...

What if the goal of personal growth — and parenting — isn't to stay perfectly centered… but to return again when you drift away? In this episode, Ann explores a simple but powerful idea: the practice of leaving your center and coming back to it again and again . Inspired by a spiritual chant about returning to the "land of your soul," she connects this concept to meditation, parenting, and the way...

Have you ever felt like you only have two options… and both of them kind of suck? Be rigid or be out of control. Speak up and blow everything up… or stay quiet and carry resentment. Stay on top of everything… or completely give up and let it all fall apart. If you've ever felt trapped between two bad choices, this episode is for you. Today I'm talking about polarization — an Internal Family System...

You don't want to discipline them. Because you get it. They're tired. They're overwhelmed. They're hormonal. They're transitioning between homes. They're dysregulated. It's not their fault. And yet… you also can't live like this. This is the quiet tension so many thoughtful parents carry: If I understand why they're acting this way… do I still get to hold a boundary? In this episode, I unpack the...

You love your kid. You want them to feel confident. You want them to know they're capable and amazing. So of course you praise them. But what if the way we've been taught to praise our kids is quietly getting in the way of the very self-esteem we're trying to build? In this episode, I'm unpacking something that can feel almost heretical: why traditional praise doesn't actually create confidence —...

If "discipline" makes your stomach drop because it feels synonymous with mean, this episode is for you. This conversation is for parents who care deeply about connection — and are quietly worried that setting limits might damage it. Ann makes the case that loving limits aren't just about better behavior. They're about helping kids develop security, self-trust, and a nervous system that doesn't fee...

If you've ever sworn, "It ends with me," and then immediately watched yourself get weirdly intense about something small… hi. This episode is for the parents who are doing the work—and still getting ambushed by old feelings in brand-new moments. We're talking about what actually breaks generational cycles (spoiler: it's not just "doing everything differently"), and why the real win is becoming the...

How many times have you told someone what you want and then been frustrated when nothing changes? Whether it's a parenting conversation (put your coat away when you get home from school, please.) or a request of your partner (please don't leave your toothbrush dripping all over the counter.) or any other attempt you've had to get people to change their behavior, chances are nothing changed. Am I r...

Do you find yourself impatient to experience the transformations you're working on? Whether it's upleveling your parenting skills, managing your temper, getting a project across the finish line, experiencing less stress or anxiety....once we can tell what is going "wrong" now and what "right" looks like, it's normal to feel a sense of urgency about making it happen ASAP. It's almost like you have...