Complex PTSD Recovery [Reports]: We Are Traumatized Motherfuckers

The filthiest words: love yourself. 🤮 Why does trauma create barriers between us and... not hating us? Talkin' lost relationships, criteria for love, loss of self, and the endless self scrutiny created by post-traumatic judgments. It's a BIG EPISODE with some BIG ANNOUNCEMENTS - grab your pepto and let's talk about "self-love-y." WATCH IT HERE Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more infor...

Education and Responsibility are important for t-recovery... But progress peters when self-punishment predominates. Without self-compassion, regression becomes reality. Let's talk about the requirement for self-compassion and 5 ways to do it. video ! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

When life serves conflictual and confusing information, our brains simplify it to survive... and fuck us over in the long-run. Let's talk about the "ALL GOOD" and "ALL BAD" self-defense mechanisms of Splitting and Projective Identification, what function they serve as children & adults, and how they create shitass trauma-bound lives down the line. Catch the FREE VIDEO PRESENTATION here . Just...

Ready to learn about the maladaptive tendencies of your most difficult relational partners? When we don't believe we're "entitled" to a need or emotion, we vent it into (unwise) action. Let's discuss the immature cognitive patterns we/others may still be utilizing to keep our brains "safe." We'll cover the lowest level self-defense mechanisms: Acting Out, Help-Rejecting Complaining, and Passive Ag...

We've learned that narcs don't generally recover because of their "creative narration" abilities. Now, let's talk about some of the ways they spin those stories. Today, we start our examination of self-defense mechanisms by looking at the purposes of Intellectualization and Rationalization. Then, we ask the question: SO HOW SMART ARE THEY? And discuss the distinct Thought Processing limitations of...

They'll shake your hand while pissing on your leg, plead and then pulverize promises, and generally give the sense that they're one hundred people who share a face. But why? Let's talk about narcissist personality structuring that ranges from neurotic to psychopathic, but never hits the mark of "maturity." Meanwhile, creating the condition I've titled simply: There is no Integrity without Integrat...

"Just feel good about your authentic self and don't let anyone wreck your recognition of specialness." Right. Let's talk about what may be holding us back from achieving this safe, centered, self-supportive, resilience-boosting psychological station, and the easiest way to achieve the "healthy self" that's never been otherwise defined. Adaptive Narcissism. Plus, we'll be discussing how AN relates...

Why is the decision to sacrifice or save our brains so difficult to make? Let's talk about subconscious narratives we probably all carry, the ambivalence-guilt connection, and the power of perception on caregiving burden. Find the transcript at t-mfrs.com Looking for the 9 full episodes on this topic? Hit up the Filial Obligation Collection on patreon.com/traumatizedmotherfuckers. Need some Fi...

A big 'nouncement; so long TMFRS! Then let's talk about what constitutes a VulNarc versus "a person with CPTSD." Where does the chronic manipulation come from? How are recovery resources used for trauma-unhealing? What's up with the hostility and antagonism? . Lots to cover in this mashup of "time, space, and energy" meets "VulNarcs" and "trauma-selve...

This year we spoke about Intimacy. Now it's time to confront *Intimacy.* Let's look at the discrepant programs that live inside of us, gathered across a lifetime of adaptation to extreme events and unhealthy narratives. We're talking Sexual Healing vs. Internal Family Systems and deprived needs. Need this conversation more than you knew? Check out patreon.com/traumatizedmotherfuckers f...

We're tying up loose ends in our discussion of relationships! Today, discussing the cognitive copy-pastes we accidentally carry out between past and present relationships - and they ways they set us back in our recovery goals while creating abusive dynamics. Need more thoughts about transference in all its forms? I've got another hour of material and an animated vid on this one. Check patr...

Let's cut the brainy shit, the real answer to surviving the holidays is not abandoning yourself. Need more holiday support? Don't we all. For all the other holiday freebies, just hit up patreon.com/traumatizedmotherfuckers . Search "holiday" to find releases from the past for no cost, or subscribe to access the pre-wrangled Holiday Survival Collection for your listening ease. Stay safe, support yo...

Back to NonViolent Communication! Here are 10 things the experts say destroy our attempts at vulnerable disclosures and requests. Just in time for the holidays, let's talk about why these conversational reactions burn our t-brains and why people are programmed to use them, anyways. For the full transcript and all the doods, check t-mfrs.com and get ready to peruse for hours. To jump into the f...

We learn to neglect ourselves at an early age and then everything goes to hell forever after. Stuck in unfixable suffering, toiling away with ineffectual attempts to comfort ourselves, and possibly... destroying our own lives, in an attempt to end the self-deprivation through backdoor methods. Let's talk about needs and what happens when we learn there are "required" versus "una...

"Depression is the reward we get for being good children." NVC helps yer relationships, sure. But it'll also rewire your t-brain trashhabits, emotional misunderstandings, and shit perspectives if you use it solo. Let's talk about the roots of the worst of us; our unmet needs and beliefs that deprivation = goodness. Which create vicious cycles of projection, unfulfillment, and rel...

Ever feel "unheard"? Well, here's the key to getting your point across and sparking collaboration rather than opposition. Today, we're talking about NonViolent Communication (NVC) - the 4 step framework for communicating effectively about emotions and unmet needs without stimulating defensive reactions or leaning on your own deeply ingrained control tactics... And so much more. W...

So, how do we apologize "the right way"... Rather than creating MORE damage through half-assed "I'm sorrys"? Today, let's talk about the 5 points for offering a real apology for sake of true relational healing... And four examples of how NOT to apologize, unless you actually want to make the emotional abandonment experience worse for your partner. Looking for 10 more ex...

How DO we heal what's been broken? I've got a short phrase for you - it's what we've all needed to hear all along. And let's talk about the timeless wounds patched up by real apologies, as we prepare to talk about shitty apologies next time. Hail yerSelf and Cheers Fuckers. Git the transcript version of this post at t-mfrs.com and check out some doods while you're there. Ca...

We all know about the 4 survival Fs at this point. But how about the additional F reactions- Fronting and Feigning? Let's talk about learned reactions that keep us feeling safe in relationship... while rotting out the connection, engaging manipulation tactics, and using fear as a self-defense. Looking for more "real relationship talk"? Well that's the order of the month, over in the private podcas...

We've talked a lot about committing fully to relationships and overcoming our conflicts together, through examining the subconscious wounds that actually underly our relational upsets. But here's my question: Is that realistic? Today, we talk about getting clearer on the contents of our potential and current relationship partners' preprogramming, through checking our own somatic experi...

Ever feel like "the issue" isn't really "the issue" in relational conflict? That's because the real issue is buried under layers of protective instincts that keep us unable to fully connect or communicate... but very capable of fighting, endlessly. Let's talk about "conscious relationships" and their trauma recovery utility, as we discuss methods for resol...

Why do we start close relationships and love connections feeling one way... only to watch them disintegrate, become survival-based, and turn into "resentment"? Let's walk through the easiest explanation ever told; pulling in our Internal Family Systems education to discuss the greatest relational obstacle of them all. Looking for a lot more relational talk? Good news! It's been t...

We MFs struggle to begin or maintain healthy relationship dynamics, with a lot of externalized finger pointing about why . "Abusers just flock to me." But the truth is, the abuse recreation is mutual and it all starts in the place we attempt to willfully ignore - inside ourselves, within our preferred and hated personality aspects. Let's talk about acquisition of conscious and uncons...

Why don't we sign up for close connections anymore? Especially after learning about our CPTSD patterns? It's an episode pulled from the private Fort! Let's talk about relationship hangups from an experiential standpoint, integrating what we've heard from the research with real life brain operations to demystify disorganized feelings about closely connecting with others. Check out ⁠...

"So how do you feel about relationships?  Complicated?  You want them? You despise them? You fear them? You long for them? You try them? You exit them rapidly? Or you try to? You get stuck in them? And haunted by cycles of unfulfillment?" Today, let's talk about the obstacles we face when considering relationships or landing ourselves in them. The ways we attempt to protect ourselves...