Complex PTSD Recovery [on Spotify] : We Are Traumatized Motherfuckers

Why do we start close relationships and love connections feeling one way... only to watch them disintegrate, become survival-based, and turn into "resentment"? Let's walk through the easiest explanation ever told; pulling in our Internal Family Systems education to discuss the greatest relational obstacle of them all. Looking for a lot more relational talk? Good news! It's been t...

We MFs struggle to begin or maintain healthy relationship dynamics, with a lot of externalized finger pointing about why . "Abusers just flock to me." But the truth is, the abuse recreation is mutual and it all starts in the place we attempt to willfully ignore - inside ourselves, within our preferred and hated personality aspects. Let's talk about acquisition of conscious and uncons...

Why don't we sign up for close connections anymore? Especially after learning about our CPTSD patterns? It's an episode pulled from the private Fort! Let's talk about relationship hangups from an experiential standpoint, integrating what we've heard from the research with real life brain operations to demystify disorganized feelings about closely connecting with others. Check out ⁠...

"So how do you feel about relationships?  Complicated?  You want them? You despise them? You fear them? You long for them? You try them? You exit them rapidly? Or you try to? You get stuck in them? And haunted by cycles of unfulfillment?" Today, let's talk about the obstacles we face when considering relationships or landing ourselves in them. The ways we attempt to protect ourselves...

So you're doing your damndest to be "your best self." Maybe you're confident and comfortable in your identity these days. But, at the same time, you still find that self-condemnation is a big part of your day to day. Why?  Let's talk about self-judgment taking place on subconscious levels. How your identities mask the ongoing self-loathing that created them. And how to heal that shit, once an...

Today, sharing a mini essay I wrote for another platform, where controversial perspectives are the topic of conversation. In so much of this "trauma recovery game" we're inspired to hunker down against past patterns. But is that really healing? Want more Traumatized Motherfuckers? Join the Patreon to get hundreds of past episodes, weekly releases, and a part in supporting this DIY show. Or find mo...

Ever feel like you've got a whole household of people contained in one skull? Fighting, just like they did in your family home? Turns out, that's normal.  Today, let's talk about Internal Family Systems and the roles cemented in your brain. Protectors, Exiles, Distractors, and their vicious cycles that leave us feeling out of control of our own noggins. Plus, how to work with them, instead of...

Surprise, we're back! Keeping up with the private stream's topic of the month, we're here to talk about Loneliness.  Let's discuss the varieties of loneliness, the trends that start in childhood and pervade a lifetime, and the separate condition known as Isolation. Plus, how being a relational castaway can actually benefit our post-traumatic growth (whaaat).  Looking for all the details and commun...

Let's talk about the opposition we face during trauma recovery - namely, from our social contacts who aren't ready to have their own histories and perspectives pulled into focus. And, let's discuss the reason why the battle is worth all the effort. Don't give up, brave Motherfucker. Remember that what you're doing matters. For everyone. ✊ Related eps: perspective series, filial obligaton series,...

So we do this painful and energetically expensive inner work. And then what? Return to the same old lives? Naw, Fucker. That's the fastest way to hit "revert to draft." Once the integrative inner work starts, the outer labor has to keep up.  Let's talk about supporting our brain changes by building new lives, to enable further cognitive evolution as we keep stepping.  Related eps: inner...

Aiming for recovery, but finding that you never have the conditions to make progress? Let's talk about what it takes for a brain to heal. The basic mediums of life that most of us are unable to access in our traumatized society.  Related eps: time distortion series, "rat cage" societal trauma series, inner and outer work series, refind yer Self series

A brain is busy with all those survival processes running in the background and the second-by-second management of triggers and symptoms. So what happens when that system gets overloaded? Today, we're talking about the pattern of symptom masking/ignorance, overcompensation, loss of functionality, and eventual collapse. And how does "resilience vs. resistance" change our perspective? Related eps: b...

Back to this self-limiting conversation... what happens when our "selves" are limited by incohesion? When we have inner wars over "the right thing," or oppositional memory and emotional responses confusing every issue? Let's talk about the battle that rages inside. Revisiting "parts" and how they're the crux of pulling your shit together for long-lasting recovery.  Related eps: fragmenta...

You've decided to enact new behaviors to change your life... only to find you can't actually put them into practice. You stall out and revert to old programs to your own bewilderment. Something is stalling progress from the inside. Let's talk about self-limiting strategies for living spawned by trauma. And the ways they become "default modes" of daily existence.  Related eps: self-limita...

So we all have a penchant for fear, it's a foundational aspect of PTSD. But what happens when our brain relay system is wonky due to those adaptations?  Let's talk about the faulty DMN. How it throws us into disjointed memories, disables continuous autobiographical recall, explains poor sense of somatic (bodily) self, and interacts with those pesky sub-sensory threshold fear triggers. Reflect...

We know, trauma brains create patterns that can stall us out and keep us stuck. This is especially true when talking "relationships" of all forms. Unfortunately, leading many to feel permanently socially-tethered, personally incapable, and suicidal, instead. Today, let's talk about how relationships often corrupt our lives, how to re-work them, and when it's time to say goodbye - all for reco...

The time comes for all of us; the family call to duty. And then what. We know it's going to trigger unwanted trauma reactions. But resisting often feels futile, immoral, and socially-punishing. Let's talk about the dangers of family re-immersion for a healing trauma brain and what we can do to protect ourselves before the filial phonecalls start.  Related eps: filial obligation and entrapment...

Perspective; A word with many meanings, depending on who's speaking it. Namely, the bane of, "that's just ONE perspective." Let's talk about the real definition of the word, how it pertains to post-traumatic stress development, where attention vs. willful ignorance comes into play, and how no one can ever have your irreplicable perspective. Trust your guts, Fuckers. You know where you've been.&nbs...

Have you been struggling to make meaningful progress? Well, these global events don't help. Especially when they feel so... family-iar... to our trauma brains.  Let's talk about the semi-accepted phases of trauma recovery - destabilization, processing, and integration. And how societal systems keep bringing us back to square one. Related eps: "the rat cage" societal trauma series, r...

Ever doubt that "it was significant enough to count as t-word"?  Well, the key word is significance.  Let's break this down simply and talk about what really creates PTSD; our brains' subjective experience of fear and the meaning we give events (and ourselves) in the aftermath.  Related eps: filial obligation and entrapment series, perspective series

We're back! Let's wrap up a year of in-depth trauma research and community insights with a new season.  Free holiday support Discord server: https://discord.gg/5AYuCuQRhn  Public holiday episodes (browse or search "holiday"): patreon.com/traumatizedmotherfuckers Full episode guide: https://www.t-mfrs.com/epguide Ho-ho-ho, Motherfucker. I'll see you there. 

Convinced you aren't individually damaged, doomed, or destitute yet? Sick. But that comfort doesn't do much good if your brain, behaviors, and life don't change along with the perspective.  Here are 10 steps for CPTSD recovery and your life redesign. Keeping in mind, "different strokes for different folks," "different gains for different brains." Let the experiment begin.  See you o...

Do you edit your daily activities to feel "acceptable," to the detriment of your own wants, needs, and goals? Can you see yourself clearly from the outside, on one timeline? Do you have the power to "drop out" of your brain and observe its activities as a separate observer?  Maybe not. Today, we're talking about the loss of "Self" - the most flowery and easily dismissible of the CPTSD hallmar...

What's the difference between "being a good person" and sacrificing your whole life to support others? In most of our families and social structures... there isn't one. Which makes it pretty hard to name the problem, re-examine your instincts to serve, or stand up for your right to operate your own brain.  Today, let's talk about one of the most ignored and normalized survival responses. Fawn...

Here's a holiday release for ya. Merry whatever-you-do, and let's talk about families fuckin things up.   Mental illness seems to run in families, do'nnit? Turns out, there's some biological mirroring mechanisms you might want to hear about. Why are you "the way you are"? It's because of them. Why do they refuse to see your progress and personality realistically? It's also because o...