Coming Up for Air — A Toolkit to Help with Your Loved One's Recovery from Addiction & Mental Illness

In part 2, Linda offers tools to help calm the parasympathetic nervous system. As Kayla says, it's part of gaining coherence, a prerequisite for connection. Linda Aber is a mother whose psychology journey deepened when she adopted two children from Russian orphanages. She is an Attachment Parent Coach, Certified Nurtured Heart® Approach Trainer, Certified Theraplay® Group Specialist, Certified...

Linda Aber is a mother whose psychology journey deepened when she adopted two children from Russian orphanages. She is an Attachment Parent Coach, Certified Nurtured Heart® Approach Trainer, Certified Theraplay® Group Specialist, Certified HeartMath® Anxiety/Anger Reduction Practitioner and Family Life Educator CCFE. In part 1, she joins our hosts to discuss the parasympathetic nervous system, CRA...

If you're forced to have limited contact, it can be hard to handle the unknown. It's important to learn how to be in contact in simple ways, and to calm your system down to respond well and strengthen the connection. Use humor; find ways to connect with who they are and what they like—reminding them of who they are becomes a bridge and connection. If you’re worried, learn how to communicat...

We intend to be supportive and helpful and keep our Loved Ones safe. But our words aren’t always perceived that way. It’s important to become more aware of how we’re coming across, and to gain the tools to soften the message, hear when they feel upset, and shift things so that we can go back into connection. The result is building the relationship so things can come out more clearly, and the perso...

Presume you’ll have moments in a relationship that feel like gigantic rifts, or like uncomfortable separation and disconnect. That’s not a problem, but an opportunity to show that you’re changing and working on your part. Take full responsibility for your part, whether they do or not. Keep doing it over and over, so you become a safe person—the person who’s there when they decide they’re ready for...

Kayla asks the Families Speak podcasters to look back at their entire journey. Where did they begin this journey, where are they now, how would they describe their journey, what has changed, what have they learned? The family members who speak to you via the Families Speak series are people on a journey with Loved Ones who struggle with addiction and mental health. Listen to them as they reflect o...

Worry is universal, yet it’s also damaging to ourselves and our relationships. Suzanne aptly refers to the “chem trails” we put out when we’re in a state of anxiety-fear-worry. Jody remarks that worrying and the energy it gives off “is the biggest repellent… when I’m in that state, I am sending all the wrong signals out… .” She shares that realizing this was “one of the initial catalysts to say, I...

Are you a "YES person" or a "NO person?" According to Kayla, each of us has a tendency in one direction or the other. Find out what practice she recommends for "YES people" and why. But why is it so hard for so many of us to say "no" to people we love? Bridget, one of our co-hosts, admits that in her relationship with her Loved One, she used to operate from a place of fear. "I thought if I said 'n...

This topic came up organically when we came together to record and most of the team admitted they were in a strange place. We decided to explore just that – those moments when you realize you’re just not on your game (feeling off, disconnected, out of it, tired, not quite right… know what I mean?). Whether the cause is related to your Loved One’s substance use or mental health struggles, or any ot...

Words are important. But what may be even more important than words is the energy behind them. How do our body language, the tone of our voice, the thoughts we’re thinking, the feelings we’re feeling, and what we’re grappling with in any moment, affect things with others around us, for example with our Loved One? As we reorient and become more aware of our energy, it’s astounding what we’re able t...

A message from Isabel Cooney about some podcast changes. ** Starting in August, the support group that Kayla facilitates will be offered on a sliding scale. Wednesdays at 6:30pm ET Email kaylacraftgroup@gmail.com to join or learn more (Cost should not be a barrier— please reach out if you're interested) ** At Allies in Recovery, we know that change starts with us. When we learn to self-regulat...

“Humor is a release,” insists Kayla Solomon. If you can laugh, the perceived danger dissipates. Co-host Suzanne shares, “Even in the face of total darkness, we can laugh at the insanity. I think the line between humor and tragedy is very, very fine indeed.” In this lighthearted episode, our team offers deep thoughts about humor, including how to access it… as well as some unexpected tips such as c...

Those of us who’ve been learning and practicing CRAFT as taught by Allies in Recovery tend to agree: this stuff should be taught in schools! All parents should know about this! All humans would benefit! As co-host Kenny explains, “In this journey, I’ve come to understand that the CRAFT skillset is really about relationships, generally, as much as it is how you maintain or develop a relationship wi...

Isabel Cooney interviews her beloved colleague, Kayla Solomon. Kayla admits that when she was first trained in CRAFT, the 12-week framework of the method felt artificial — "It got stuck in my craw," she says. You'll hear the myriad ways that Kayla, through her work with families at Allies in Recovery, has tweaked and embellished the approach. Kayla Solomon, a regular co-host of this...

When accumulated trauma and worry have our anxiety levels running high, we are often in a place where we simply expect that (more) bad things are going to happen—even when, objectively, things seem to be going well. It can actually be just this, things going well, that feel so out of the ordinary that we assume it won’t last and start to live in a state of suspension. This in-between state prevent...

Though designed for families to help shepherd Loved Ones into treatment and recovery, CRAFT turns out to be a versatile framework that you can use anywhere, with anyone. And since our relationship with our Self is foundational for all the rest, it’s only logical—essential, Kayla says—that we’d find ways to practice CRAFT on ourselves. Does this sound confusing and strange? Let our families explain...

What are the pitfalls of comparing your story and situation to that of others? How do you live in the world where not everyone is experiencing or expecting substance use or mental health issues, where people more readily discuss their Loved Ones' celebrations, accomplishments, and milestones? Our co-hosts talk about their own frustrations with comparing their situations to those of others, and...

Dads come together for a fascinating chat about the work they're doing around their children's substance use/recovery. What's different about how Moms and Dads approach the work? They suggest that the love felt for their Loved One is equal, but the interactions are quite different. James,a father of four, points out that Dads are often focused on detaching from their young adult sons,...

Responding to a question from an Allies member, our co-hosts tackle a tough situation. Our member fears her adult child will be triggered to drink at their sibling’s upcoming wedding. Things could really get out of hand. Mom's trying to anticipate things CRAFTily, but there are many people involved. Worry and high expectations tend to be baked into weddings. Tune in to hear our team brainstorm...

How did Casie Fariello and Liz Reitman come to build Other Parents Like Me (OPLM), an impressive network of worldwide support meetings, expert talks and much more?  Kayla speaks with Casey and Liz of OPLM, who describe themselves as "two moms determined to make a difference." The organization supports and educates parents with kids going through mental health challenges of all kinds, oft...

Though it seems intuitive and important to avoid black and white thinking, what do you do instead? There are shades of gray, but our host Elizabeth suggests that a rainbow spectrum is really where complexity can live, a world where color, acceptance, softening, connection, and recognition of micro-successes are the path leading away from the contraction and defensiveness of black and white thinkin...

The team weighs in definitively on the question, Is Everyone Creative? They share with us some key ways to get your creative juices flowing and move past blockages, and point to creative outlets you may not have considered. The Families Speak team is comprised of mothers and fathers on a journey with an addicted loved one. These family members have encountered the same struggles as anyone else wit...

Creativity has been a central element of healing for many of our Families Speak cohosts. For some, it arrived like a lifeline when their family was in crisis. For others, creativity remained frustratingly out of reach during the lowest point of crisis. The team dives into the countless ways we can access creative energy, and how it helped them. "Creativity is in everything if you're payin...

Kayla and Isabel speak with Mississippi native Jane Clair Tyner, Communications Manager of the dynamic education and advocacy organization, End It For Good . Jane Clair describes the "Thank God moment" she had when she first discovered the CRAFT method, albeit bittersweet: she had already lost her first-born son to drug-related complications. She weighs in on the current challenge faced...

For these parents, behavior change started when they began coming to terms with not having control over their Loved One . Learn about the stages of behavior change that we all go through, and how to open to the challenge. Delve into this inspiring conversation and consider Kayla's affirmation that: "If I'm part of the problem, it means I'm also part of the solution!"Psychothe...