Cold Brew Got Me Like

Chris and Greg remember defunct Nashville hot spot Smeraldo's! Chris has a bloodhound named Cold Brew that hunts celebrity memorabilia. ALSO: Regional sex positions! Our new sponsor "Can Do Cold Brew" takes effect! PLUS: John Denver drank amaretto, and 2 songs of the week!! John Denver - "Dancing with The Mountains": https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0ISCtadfBP8 John Denver - "Prisoners": https://ww...

The far-right are carnies. The sideshow have replaced the regular show. Economic insecurity breeds contempt. ALSO: R. Richard's "Grasshopper Winter." What happened to ISIS? Chris talks about a very strange job. PLUS: Song(s) of the week by Bon Jovi!!!!! Bon Jovi - "Runaway": https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s86K-p089R8 Bon Jovi - "Breakout": https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pHpGHTXCYZk CBGMListening...

Chris and Greg decide to run a cold brew pipeline from Nashville to Madison. They're gonna run it through rich neighborhoods on purpose. A discussion of urban renewal and racism follows. ALSO: Volcanoes full of Bird scooters, Chris reads an Advice King Classic™ and a LONG story about The Associated Press. PLUS: The song of the week from Jenny O!!!! Jenny O - "Solitary Girl": https://www.youtube.co...

Nashville, TN, is a food desert, so Chris and Greg are going to open a terrible-yet-favorably-reviewed cheesesteak restaurant. ALSO: Adam Driver gets tricked into doing a Yves Saint Laurent commercial with a goat. PLUS: Gas pump cliffhangers, the latest Advice King column, and a song of the week from Caitlin Rose!!! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dEm73-p4nxU YOU CAN FIND CHRIS CROFTON'S PATREON:...

In Madison, TN, cold brew coffee is CORRECTLY regarded with suspicion. Greg advocates for humility. Chris recommends the podcast "Death of an Artist." ALSO: Punk rock panic attacks, unlocked garment bags, and jerks talking about "points." PLUS: Song of the week by The Sound!!! The Sound - "Counting the Days": https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=npMB_k16VaE "Death of An Artist": https://www.pushkin.fm/...

FIRST: Due to technical difficulties, Greg's microphone sounds like a ham radio. SECOND: The world's worst coffee reviewer brags about owning a suede painting. Chris tries to re-calibrate his targeted ads. ALSO: Frightening old coffee commercials, Bono's offshore accounts, and Boomers exaggerating how much adversity they've overcome. PLUS: Song of the week by Judee Sill!!!! Judee Sill - "The Kiss"...

Tangerine Dream: soundtrack to a smoother, sexier - false - future. This ersatz future led to pretentious dirty talk, and terrible voting habits. If you wait on a billionaire and they don't tip you AT LEAST $5000, they are slime. ALSO: Elon Musk's live-in diving board repairman gets fired. PLUS: Chris announces a new podcast: COLD BREW GOT ME LISTENING, and a song of the week by Carly Simon!!!!!!...

Cold brew around the world! Steven Tyler scats in his sleep, so his wife sleeps on the roof. Long hair is a mind control device. Elon Musk still sucks. Bob Dylan's interview answers rule. ALSO: A 2008 popsicle giveaway drove Chris insane for three years. PLUS: Song of the week by Nirvana!!! Nirvana - "Oh, The Guilt": https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QaQlkmPEdLY The Jesus Lizard - "Puss": https://ww...

70% of animals are gone. Not 17. 70. SEVEN ZERO. Recurring feature Cold Brew Ecosystem™ returns. We talk about streetcars again!!! ALSO: Dodge Ram drivers hate to hear about declining animal populations, a fresh round of Elon Musk bashing, and Chris meets Danielle Steel at The Southern Festival of Books. PLUS: Song of the week by Dion DiMucci!!!! Dion - "Your Own Backyard": https://www.youtube.com...

Chris is headed to Nashville!!! He's loading the car with worthless, easy-to-find vinyl records. A powerful argument that Jagermeister is NOT a "digestif." ALSO: Chris and Greg visit Monsanto's "Pumpkin Creamed" cold brew factory, and Chris reads the new Advice King column. PLUS: Liz Truss, libertarian moron, and a song of the week from John Denver!!! John Denver - "Spirit": https://youtu.be/GOkq-...

The Cold Brew ecosystem! The storks eat the flies, the whales eat the storks! Chris says Desmond Child co-wrote Stairway to Heaven when he was 11. Greg saw a cover band named "The C-Dock Boyz." ALSO: The internet goes down, and the cold brew wears off. PLUS: Greg says "Coffee definitely makes you wanna say stuff, AND do stuff," and a stunning song of the week from Arthur Russell!!! Arthur Russell...

"WE DON'T NEED ANY MORE RESTAURANTS!" Stoned camels get self-conscious about their humps. Greg is stunned that Chris read a book. ALSO: Getting drunk is helpful for wilderness survival, the new Advice King column, and some red-hot misinformation about salt licks. PLUS: Song of the week by Jonathan Richman!! Jonathan Richman - Closer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J9KDp9yuGfQ

Greg's broadcasting from Myrtle Beach! Chris clears his throat! MI6 agents in parrot suits! Heat signatures! ALSO: Lacrosse Corner™️ PLUS: Cold brew makes Greg says "Calistoga," a youtube guy talks about pipes, and a beautiful song of the week by Chris Whitley. Chris Whitley - Mountain Side: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6MSjBmmZ6TA

Cold brew makes Chris discuss potable water and public transportation. Greg has an idea for a great movie called "Toilet Inspectors" - it's a lot like Ghostbusters. ALSO: Deep Purple performances were cold brew events. The singer plays bongos! PLUS: A classic flavored coffee review from our, ahem, favorite coffee reviewer!!!

"This is when the Rasputins come out of the woodwork." -Chris ALSO: John Gotti tore up his toilet paper roll like a cat when he found out about Sammy the Bull. The direct line between decommissioned Elks Lodges and the insurrection. Modern soldiers are treated like temp workers. PLUS: The civil war will only be available at participating 7-Eleven locations, AND song of the week "Click Click" by Th...

Cold brew causes Greg to say "bobcats will rip you ass up." Chris and Greg dive deeper into the lyrics of Robin Gibb's Italian hit "Boys Do Fall in Love." ALSO: The latest Advice King! PLUS: UPS Vikings, and song of the week from REM! REM - "Electrolite": https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qO73cFm0tuk&list=PLvsYXqtYjMYeZ203XrKYyWsbm7uvjivcd&index=16 Advice King - "GOP Christianity": https://www.nashv...

Chris and Greg talk about retaining walls, low-wage Grandmas delivering sandwiches, Jeff Bezos complimenting William Shatner's physique, and over-greased go-karts. ALSO: An acoustic cover of Rage Against the Machine's "Killing in the Name Of" that's even worse than last week's. PLUS: Song of the week by Robin Gibb!!!! Robin Gibb's "Boys Do Fall in Love": https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D8WSSG3UzwU...

Cold brew hits the Croftons hard on this episode. Beware of sculptors! Film producers are Kansans trying to avenge their childhoods. Greg says he is married to a woman named Rhonda. Chris impersonates a jester. ALSO: The world's worst Rage Against the Machine cover, and the world's worst youtube coffee reviewer. PLUS: Song of the week by Zen Guerilla! Zen Guerilla - Pins and Needles: https://youtu...

"Any self-respecting rock n roller had a primer gray nova." Chris and Greg talk about 1980s Connecticut, Tom LePage's mixed tape, and how the mythology of America leads to isolation and loneliness. ALSO: Scorpions fans whose grandparents were born in 1880. PLUS: Greg's Guns n Roses documentary, and the song of the week from Journey!!! Greg's Guns n Roses doc: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fMOdk1...

Midwesterners who move to Los Angeles consider themselves geniuses because their friends back in Wisconsin are still freezing. ALSO: Alcohol makes you crazy - the band Black Oak Arkansas is proof. We need to start asking politicians what they did last night. PLUS: Mike Lindell's disgusting coffee, and song of the week "Hot and Nasty." Black Oak Arkansas - Hot and Nasty: https://www.youtube.com/wat...

David Brooks admits he has an "intellectual lag," but continues to have a column in the New York Times. He's so annoying that he has to separated from the NYT's general population. ALSO: Greg says "The Gray Man" sucks. PLUS: Partying on dry lake beds, and the song of the week by Karen Dalton! Karen Dalton - Something on Your Mind: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CsYHN7eCCtU

The James Webb Telescope has split Greg's wig. He says it's going to impact the "art world." Chris wonders where that world is. Greg calls the James Webb Telescope "the ultimate piece of cheese." ALSO: Chris says "wheelie" 10,000 times. PLUS: Song of the week from the Screaming Females! Screaming Females - Triumph: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b0PPjH_TfUc

LEONARDO DA COLDBREW. Leonardo da Vinci was a genius, but he was a nightmare to be around. Hopped up on bark tea and frog adrenaline, inventing automobiles and arranging flowers with the same intensity. PLUS: The Supreme Court nightmare AND two songs by Grant Hart!!!! Nova Mob - Pompeii: https://youtu.be/3BgUTRwS3i8 Grant Hart -2541: https://youtu.be/GjJC5e4VpDY

It's not Iggy Pop's fault, he lived too long and discovered shrimp cocktail! 90% of 1970s rock stars died from falling out of a lighthouse. Also, whoever is buried with you in the cemetery are the only people you can hang out with for eternity. PLUS: The Sex Pistols could vomit on command and Kiss's instruments played themselves. WITH: Song of the week from The Wedding Present, a movie review from...

Hunter-gatherers were narcissists. "We're the only people who ever gathered." PLUS: Privy digging, ass-tickling chairs, disruptive bigfoot statues, Grubhub guys crying, and the song of the week by Terence Trent D'Arby!!! ALSO: Greg is building a gofundme Bigfoot, AND Elon Musk isn't going to save you, bro Animal Control Bigfoot: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BG3epA9jJRY Terence Trent D'Arby: htt...