Cold Brew Got Me Like

The horror of guns in America. We discuss the tragedy in Texas. PLUS: Neanderthals, Ezra Pound's Greatest Hits, and a song of the week from Houston's "Teevee." Teevee "Lovedrive" - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0evHdKDvqNQ

Chris and Greg engage in some REAL TALK about the gig economy, including "micro fulfillment centers" (two dudes playing cards in a doghouse full of Twizzlers). PLUS: Caffeinated scientists 3-D print a mummy's vocal cords and make it bleat like a goat. ALSO: 800 hats on a metaphorical monkey.

The stock market is a pyramid scheme, the Supreme Court is a dark money troll farm, and Eddie Vedder needs to drink less. Pearl Jam's new songs sound like a washing machine with a rock in it. ALSO: Chris still likes Pearl Jam, despite all of this. PLUS: "What Should I Bring to Antiques Roadshow?" from The Advice King Anthology, and the song of the week by Rachel Goodrich! Rachel Goodrich's "Think...

Chris is allowed behind the counter of a bookstore and he loses his mind. Steve Jobs meets Bob Dylan and asks him whether he likes pleated or flat-front pants. ALSO: How to defeat Donald Rumsfeld at squash. PLUS: Song of the day - John Denver's "The Wings That Fly Us Home" John Denver: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v4BANicOw8U Greg's Action Park Article: https://www.channelnonfiction.com/?fbclid...

Chris worked as a union "concrete depositor" in 1951. He moved to Reno with a bowling bag and some pinky rings. ALSO: American Movie, Advice King mugs for sale, and the disturbing story of super-rich ERROL Musk - Elon's dad. PLUS: Song of the week - The Poppy Family's "Which Way You Going Billy?" The Poppy Family! - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RNducWOlkec

EPISODE 50!!!! Holy sh*t!!!! Uhhhh...we didn't do anything special!!!! It's just Chris this week. He says the only way to get out from under "global forces" is to take a nap. ALSO: Tapas at the 9/11 Memorial, the Canuxploitation doc "Being Different," and how to write a will. PLUS: Song of the day by Sebadoh!!! Link(s) below. Being Different: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gWb9XxcHNZY&t=4322s Seb...

Are beanie babies "manga"?? ALSO: The man on the plane who got mad at a baby, the latest Advice King column, and telling people that you just quit drinking in job interviews. PLUS: When everyone in the music business was named "Frankie." Survivor - Popular Girl: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DxDiybGQTvY

Cold brew makes you twice as tall!™ ALSO: If your business can't withstand unionization, then your business isn't a business. "Imagine how f*cking fast Amazon could deliver stuff if child labor wasn't illegal!" PLUS: A fox that lived out everyone's fantasy - biting a politician. Advice King: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0ZHbM4z4vzM Rabid Beaver: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eTPMkey2HH8&t=182...

COLD BREW GOT ME LIKE is the first and only podcast to discuss the Oscar slap! ALSO: Chris talks about a time he had a "brain wipe" on The Daily Zeitgeist, and then has one. PLUS: How to write an X-Men script, trying to eat dinner during the movie "The Lighthouse," and a John Phillips song. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i9D39YvR3fs&t=4s https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bGUDpZLLO08

The Loudon Wainwright III appreciation episode!!! Surviving Twin!!! ALSO: Cold Brew in the News - Chris Martin is forced to get a hair weave by his manager Rudy. PLUS: Chris reads an excerpt from "The Advice King Anthology." https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Is9ilmbczi8 https://www.vanderbiltuniversitypress.com/9780826504630/the-advice-king-anthology/

Greg's ski trip! Greg describes the band that played at the lodge as being like "a racy John Fogerty." Chris accidentally calls a mountain a "website." PLUS: Win an Advice King t-shirt by guessing the name of a real ski bum! ALSO: That guy who says he lost his virginity to an alien, and Steven Adler's friend "Weasel."

Greg is on vacation, so Chris talks to himself!! FEATURING: Charles Dickens' granddaughter Monica inventing the Goldendoodle, the new Advice King, bucket lists, abandoned mines, and The Garden of Allah hotel. PLUS: The Wall Street Journal gets in touch with Chris, and he thinks it's his big break. It is most certainly not.

It's Mom's Birthday!!! Mom likes Monster Magnet!!! Chris's bathroom renovation update!! ALSO: Going to college with Tucker Carlson. PLUS: Fugazi's eight-hour rehearsals, Jay Sebring convincing Clint Eastwood to use conditioner, and Tex Watson joins Rick James's band. Fugazi at The Trocadero (me and Greg were there): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zO-l5OsxMqU Jay Sebring Hair Styling Lesson: https...

COLD BREW GOT Chris and Greg talking about the Mariana Trench, Fleetwood Mac holograms, and SOCIETY. Chris accidentally calls General Patton "James Patterson" - James Patterson is the guy who filmed Bigfoot at Bluff Creek in 1967. Greg tells a fun story about a hungry bear, and Chris uses it as a segue into a nightmarish story about their dad.

Chris is crabby again. Chris complains about everything from the modern world's lack of "village elders" to Dua Lipa. PLUS: Chris and Greg celebrate the fact that "Cold Brew Got Me Like" is the #21 comedy podcast in Poland!!!

WE ARE BACK!!!!!!! Chris and Greg revisit the time-honored (at this point) topic of Chris's bathroom "renovation." ALSO: Rand Paul did yard work instead of legislating. PLUS: Jeff Bezos' henchmen call a bridge in Rotterdam.

Chris and Greg discuss the famous and popular video game “Cloak Boy.” Also, Sterling Hayden, a man who needs at least 4 acres to think properly. mansplains alcoholism. PLUS: Trent Reznor was in a band called “Slam Bamboo” - and that’s TRUE. 1) https://youtu.be/einQjrm2vnY 2) https://youtu.be/Yi7q85B1PwA

Chris and Greg want to “put their bodies upon the gears” like Mario Savio. Greg’s gonna carve his initials on Amazon trucks, rendering them useless. ALSO: Chris explains how Axl Rose fixing his teeth and hiring Dizzy Reed led directly to the gig economy.

Chris and Greg reminisce about their days on college radio. FEATURING: The day In 2008 when some student DJ wearing flip-flops and khaki shorts played the Aerosmith song “Pink.” ALSO: Joe Lara, Remnant Fellowship, and a deranged 1972 malt liquor promotional film. Malt liquor ad: https://youtu.be/Y_hOoDRtNrs

Chris formally announces the forthcoming Advice King book! Chris and Greg talk about how drunk chicken farmers must have been in 1961. In related news, a 1961 chicken farmer orders pancakes from a UFO. PLUS: Uri Geller’s yacht rock. https://www.dailystar.co.uk/news/weird-news/man-claims-aliens-gave-him-23511035 https://youtu.be/aq8QEQ0seu0

Chris and Greg discover that in the late 1960s you could collect-call a carpet store. Also, what is “Scotch Guard,” exactly? PLUS: A news anchor pretends he’s never heard of erectile dysfunction. shag carpet ad - https://youtu.be/k9fVTD8mKG8 Stiff Bull - https://youtu.be/qKsxWyJFGEk

Chris and Greg discuss “Hard Bull Coffee,” which is supposed to enhance your libido. It has ingredients from “the Malaysian jungle.” In related news, Chris wants to make T-shirts that say “MAY PRODUCE AN AWESOME EFFECT.”

We watch classic viral cat Pinky emasculate a merchant marine. Our boy “New England Wildlife” introduces a 70 year old can of corn. PLUS: Satan pulling a U-Haul trailer! 1) https://youtu.be/okZW3_5Gr4s 2) https://youtu.be/WWtKw9bvASA 3) https://youtu.be/NnnkzsByKzY

Chris and Greg watch more people destroying trucks ( https://youtu.be/USu8vT_tfdw ) ! Hinge bios! ALSO: A man tries to rehydrate 50-year-old bread that’s “light as a sponge.” ( https://youtu.be/ghIPKC2UwwM )

THIS WEEK: A deep dive (pun intended) on Captain Nemo, the similarities between David Duke and Ben Shapiro, and why the “gig economy” has been hell on U-Haul vehicles. PLUS: Chris re-enacts a famous scene from the movie “The Warriors.” Advice King link: https://www.nashvillescene.com/arts_culture/adviceking/advice-king-why-was-the-daily-wire-at-the-ryman/article_3a764584-373d-11ec-beb8-4f6c8a6882a...