Chris Crofton
Cold Brew Got Me Like
Chris Crofton and his brother Greg have you over for a cup(s) of nitro, and a wide-ranging discussion of whatever is on their minds. Topics typically include injustice, poetry and payphones. New episode every Monday!
Be sure to visit the podcast's website and support the creator: www.spreaker.com
Where to listen?
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Episodes
Episode 40: Phone Call to a Bridge 15.02.2022 1:08:03
WE ARE BACK!!!!!!! Chris and Greg revisit the time-honored (at this point) topic of Chris's bathroom "renovation." ALSO: Rand Paul did yard work instead of legislating. PLUS: Jeff Bezos' henchmen call a bridge in Rotterdam.
Episode 39: Cloak Boy 09.01.2022 1:05:51
Chris and Greg discuss the famous and popular video game “Cloak Boy.” Also, Sterling Hayden, a man who needs at least 4 acres to think properly. mansplains alcoholism. PLUS: Trent Reznor was in a band called “Slam Bamboo” - and that’s TRUE. 1) https://youtu.be/einQjrm2vnY 2) https://youtu.be/Yi7q85B1PwA
Episode 38: When Axl Rose Got His Teeth Fixed 18.12.2021 58:34
Chris and Greg want to “put their bodies upon the gears” like Mario Savio. Greg’s gonna carve his initials on Amazon trucks, rendering them useless. ALSO: Chris explains how Axl Rose fixing his teeth and hiring Dizzy Reed led directly to the gig economy.
Episode 37: I Thought That Rascal Was Somewhere Having a Milkshake 10.12.2021 1:12:12
Chris and Greg reminisce about their days on college radio. FEATURING: The day In 2008 when some student DJ wearing flip-flops and khaki shorts played the Aerosmith song “Pink.” ALSO: Joe Lara, Remnant Fellowship, and a deranged 1972 malt liquor promotional film. Malt liquor ad: https://youtu.be/Y_hOoDRtNrs
Episode 36: UFO or Food Truck?? 03.12.2021 1:11:34
Chris formally announces the forthcoming Advice King book! Chris and Greg talk about how drunk chicken farmers must have been in 1961. In related news, a 1961 chicken farmer orders pancakes from a UFO. PLUS: Uri Geller’s yacht rock. https://www.dailystar.co.uk/news/weird-news/man-claims-aliens-gave-him-23511035 https://youtu.be/aq8QEQ0seu0
Episode 35: Is Your Carpet Ankle-deep? Why not?? 27.11.2021 1:10:33
Chris and Greg discover that in the late 1960s you could collect-call a carpet store. Also, what is “Scotch Guard,” exactly? PLUS: A news anchor pretends he’s never heard of erectile dysfunction. shag carpet ad - https://youtu.be/k9fVTD8mKG8 Stiff Bull - https://youtu.be/qKsxWyJFGEk
Episode 34: Sex Coffee 19.11.2021 59:59
Chris and Greg discuss “Hard Bull Coffee,” which is supposed to enhance your libido. It has ingredients from “the Malaysian jungle.” In related news, Chris wants to make T-shirts that say “MAY PRODUCE AN AWESOME EFFECT.”
Episode 33: Pinky the Cat 12.11.2021 1:06:13
We watch classic viral cat Pinky emasculate a merchant marine. Our boy “New England Wildlife” introduces a 70 year old can of corn. PLUS: Satan pulling a U-Haul trailer! 1) https://youtu.be/okZW3_5Gr4s 2) https://youtu.be/WWtKw9bvASA 3) https://youtu.be/NnnkzsByKzY
Episode 32: Box Trucks Gettin Crew Cuts 05.11.2021 1:17:31
Chris and Greg watch more people destroying trucks ( https://youtu.be/USu8vT_tfdw ) ! Hinge bios! ALSO: A man tries to rehydrate 50-year-old bread that’s “light as a sponge.” ( https://youtu.be/ghIPKC2UwwM )
Episode 31: Captain Nemo is an American 31.10.2021 1:01:15
THIS WEEK: A deep dive (pun intended) on Captain Nemo, the similarities between David Duke and Ben Shapiro, and why the “gig economy” has been hell on U-Haul vehicles. PLUS: Chris re-enacts a famous scene from the movie “The Warriors.” Advice King link: https://www.nashvillescene.com/arts_culture/adviceking/advice-king-why-was-the-daily-wire-at-the-ryman/article_3a764584-373d-11ec-beb8-4f6c8a6882a...
Episode 30: Racism At The Ryman 22.10.2021 1:11:31
Chris and Greg discuss the Daily Wire event hosted by Nashville’s Ryman Auditorium, and the phenomenon of people who don’t have any idea where food comes from offering crazy opinions about why it’s missing from the grocery store. THEN, Greg talks about exotic coolant and reads an action-packed obituary. PLUS: A ghost psychologist ( https://youtu.be/4DUd_vXrggg )!
Episode 29: William Shatner Boldly Goes Where Plenty of People Have Gone Before 15.10.2021 1:02:57
Chris is extremely mad that Bezos has tricked the press into calling the upper atmosphere “space.” ALSO - Greg and Chris talk about love. PLUS: the world’s worst Halloween-themed answering machine messages ( https://youtu.be/rHOlj-s1fIM ) , and “Hinge” profiles.
Episode 28: Vanilla Coffee Tastes Like Vanilla 08.10.2021 1:06:26
Let them eat NFTs!!! Chris thinks the idea that Mark Zuckerberg froze his dad like Han Solo is the best joke ever! Greg doesn’t get to tell his beach story - again. PLUS: Werner Herzog on chicken hypnosis.
Episode 27: Ghost Hunter Makeover 24.09.2021 1:03:01
Greg talks about a “homeless Labrador” with a Cheeto jug on his head. Chris says he’s been mad ever since “Jesus took his hair.“ PLUS: terribly dressed ghost hunters assaulted by magic fog. Vids featured: https://youtu.be/MISUHTo2NDs , https://youtu.be/10wYIv0cyCU
Episode 26: Mr. Coffee’s Sea Serpents 17.09.2021 1:04:22
On this episode Chris and Greg discuss the late, great Norm Macdonald, payphones, 1970s school bus drivers, and caffeinated men screaming incoherently into vacuum tubes. PLUS: The realization that everyone has their own 1993.
Episode 25: You Bloody Fool 10.09.2021 1:02:27
Greg is back! Chris and Greg discuss the biggest news story of the year so far: an Australian "Musk Duck" that is so horny it can say "you bloody fool." PLUS: 1970s "mood shirts" (like mood rings - but shirts), and Chris drinks an experimental coffee concentrate so strong it affects his speech.
Episode 24: Eight O’ Clock Coffee in a French Press 03.09.2021 56:41
Greg is on vacation! Chris watches an overconfident boomer review Eight O’ Clock Coffee. He says professional coffee-reviewer stuff like “it’s good!” and “I like it!” ALSO: Chris impersonates a YouTube coffee reviewer. PLUS: Eric speaks!
Episode 23: Honeymooning on a Merchant Marine Vessel 27.08.2021 1:03:35
Chris does one of his favorite things: drink cold brew and speculate about the Merchant Marine. ALSO: Chris and Greg examine gender roles in 1970s Folgers coffee commercials.
Episode 22: Outback Hipster 20.08.2021 1:00:11
Chris laments the state of the world for 20 minutes. THEN, Greg and Chris watch an unemployed Australian playwright impersonate a murderous 14 ft tall Yowie (Bigfoot). Also, Mark Zuckerberg is lonely as hell.
Episode 21: The Terrible Consequences of “American Exceptionalism” 13.08.2021 1:04:03
Chris and Greg discuss Tennessee anti-mask hysteria PLUS: Murder Salad? - “The Secret Life of Plants”
Episode 20: Don’t Be Afraid to Say You Don’t Like Smoking a Pipe 05.08.2021 1:07:54
Chris talks about his doctor visit and describes his diet. Greg reads an article from the “Mansion” section of the Wall Street Journal. We find out what a “loggia” is. PLUS: Miracle Whip and Jimi Hendrix!
Episode 19: It's Texas where I am 01.08.2021 1:02:25
Some guy named Spurgeon drinks so much cold brew he almost eats a cardboard box. PLUS: Staples has a rock concert to announce its new font.
Episode 18: Revolutionary War Rockabilly 24.07.2021 1:08:39
Chris thinks 19th century firehouses are the ultimate bachelor pads. ALSO: Northeastern flute rockabilly, and nostalgic boomer sex creeps.
Episode 17: Branson? Not a Fan, Son 15.07.2021 57:55
Chris and Greg talk about Ryan Gosling, Ryan Reynolds, Ryan Seacrest, Flea, Aziz Ansari, Bill Graham, Boz Scaggs and Radiohead. PLUS: Chris is super excited about recreational space travel for tax evaders!
Episode 16: John DeLorean, Watch Salesman 08.07.2021 1:02:37
Chris puts on German reading glasses and gives investment advice. Greg says he prefers serial killers that don’t slobber. PLUS: John DeLorean wanted young drivers to have V12 engines.
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