Class with Kate

Sarah and Tiah are living in different parts of the world—but asking the same question: How do you protect your kids when you can’t leave an abusive relationship? In this first Office Hours episode, we get honest about what survival actually looks like when escape isn’t an option. This isn’t about perfect parenting—it’s about doing what’s possible inside impossible circumstances. You’ll learn: Wha...

There’s a growing trend of parents “cutting off” their kids in the name of boundaries. But when a parent fully walks away—it’s abandonment. This episode breaks down the difference between distance and disappearance, and why parental responsibility doesn’t just expire. In Office Hours, Leandro shares his struggle to figure out how to engage with his parents after their abuse—what it means to want c...

You don’t need to hide your emotions—but your kids shouldn’t have to carry them either. In this episode, I show you how to actually feel your feelings without making your child responsible for them. Learn how to stay honest, regulated, and grounded in real time using the BEND tool—so your emotions don’t turn into pressure, guilt, or fear for your kids. This is the difference between modeling emoti...

If your house feels calm… but no one’s really honest, that’s not connection—that’s pseudomutuality. In this episode, I break down how “keeping the peace” actually shuts kids down—and what to do instead. Learn the BEND tool so you can regulate yourself in the moment instead of avoiding, snapping, or faking calm. Real connection requires real emotion. This is how you handle it without losing control...

Riley is doing everything “right”—marriage, motherhood, showing up. So why does she feel so stuck? In this episode, we unpack: -The signs of needing change: irritation and snappiness -The quiet resentment and disconnection many women don’t say out loud -What it means to feel trapped without wanting to leave -Why talk therapy isn’t always enough—and how somatic work can help -Where to start when yo...

Saying please and thank you in a relationship SOUNDS good right… but sometimes it can indicate something else: pseudomutuality. This is “fake closeness,” and over time, can erode real intimacy that is only achieved through conflict. Let’s talk about it! Find more @CodependencyKate on Instagram, YouTube, and TikTok www.codependencykate.com

If you’ve ever said “I’m sorry” but nothing really changed… this episode is for you. We’re breaking down the patterns that keep people stuck in harmful relationship cycles—fake niceness, performative apologies, and control disguised as care. These behaviors don’t repair trust—they quietly destroy it. In the second half of the class, “Office Hours,” we have a call with Judy, a therapist who is stru...

Why do some marriages normalize sarcasm, teasing, and subtle disrespect? In this episode, Kate explains how “joking” can become a way unhealthy marriage patterns survive for years without being confronted. Office hours features Ray, who is struggling with distance from his teenage daughter after behavior that caused harm—and the hard truth about rebuilding trust when a child pulls away. Ray has an...

What happens when your child wants a relationship with the people who hurt you? This episode answers key questions about pseudohostility, then Pearl shares the painful reality of cutting off her parents while trying to decide whether her son should have access to them. How do you protect without overcontrolling—and when do you let a child learn for themselves? Find more @CodependencyKate on Instag...

Is your marriage peaceful—or just emotionally shut down? In this episode, we break down how pseudohostility and pseudomutuality create fake connection while real issues stay buried. Then Justine shares what happened after standing up to her father and becoming the family scapegoat. Why does speaking the truth create so much self-doubt—and how do you trust yourself when your family treats you like...

Trauma is often created in ordinary family moments—through fear, silence, emotional inconsistency, and lack of repair. The first half of this episode explores the family habits that protect children, reduce harm, and break generational cycles before they repeat. The second half involves a caller, Sam, who needs help doing this with her kids. And Kate’s advice might surprise you. Find more @Codepen...

In this episode, Mary shares her experience of divorce after 38 years of marriage following betrayal, secrecy, and blackmail involving her husband’s hidden life. She also talks about the painful distance that developed with her adult children after the divorce, and the grief of feeling caught between her own healing and their loyalty to their father. We explore long-term betrayal, family fracture,...

Suppressed anger rarely stays hidden—it often comes out as judgment, criticism, and control. In this episode, we explore why this dynamic shows up so often in family systems, especially between mothers-in-law and daughters-in-law. Find more @CodependencyKate on Instagram, YouTube, and TikTok www.codependencykate.com

This episode was inspired by recent TikTok videos showing harsh, highly controlling parenting with boys—and it raises a serious question: Does authoritarian parenting create emotionally unsafe men? We explore how fear-based control, emotional suppression, and rigid power structures in childhood can shape adult anger, attachment, and abuse. When boys are taught obedience over emotional development,...

Jessica shares what it feels like to begin healing while experiencing painful flashbacks, intense body symptoms, and emotional overwhelm. We discuss why early healing can activate buried pain, how somatic symptoms often emerge during deeper emotional work, and what it means to stay grounded while the nervous system begins responding differently. Topics include healing, trauma, flashbacks, somatic...

Beth calls in with a wild scenario. She is newly postpartum, and her husband has been out of work for 2 years. Now she's given him an ultimatum. But where has her anger been the whole time, and what does Kate tell her to do next?? Find out here.... Find more @CodependencyKate on Instagram, YouTube, and TikTok www.codependencykate.com

Yesterday we had caller Beth who is really stuck in her situation. As a reminder, she is newly postpartum and her husband doesn't have a job. Where did her anger go? Why doesn't she feel it? And what can we learn from her situation? Find more @CodependencyKate on Instagram, YouTube, and TikTok www.codependencykate.com

There is growing conversation around nervous system regulation, but not all uses of that language lead to deeper freedom. In this video, I discuss how regulation can sometimes be confused with emotional compliance, especially for women who have learned to override what they feel in order to maintain peace. Find more @CodependencyKate on Instagram, YouTube, and TikTok www.codependencykate.com

Robin shares her story of sibling abuse and the long-term impact of growing up in a family where harm was minimized and protection was missing. We discuss how sibling abuse is often overlooked, how parental neglect shapes emotional development, and why unaddressed family trauma continues affecting adult relationships. Topics include sibling abuse, childhood trauma, family systems, neglect, and hea...

Yesterday Belle called in to discuss her rocky marriage- more specifically her husband using her weight as a way to avoid her issues. The result? Her being scapegoated as the marital issue. Let's talk about how to handle that and what we can learn from Belle... Find more @CodependencyKate on Instagram, YouTube, and TikTok www.codependencykate.com

Belle calls in and asks how to manage her situation. Her husband calls her fat and focuses on her weight as a way to avoid discussing the real issues. And the worst part, he won't go to therapy. Tune in to see what Kate has to say about this! Find more @CodependencyKate on Instagram, YouTube, and TikTok www.codependencykate.com

What is trauma? How do we understand trauma? And most importantly, how do we heal from it and prevent it from continuing to happen. Kate covers the basics of trauma, how it applies to your relationships, and the next steps of healing. Find more @CodependencyKate on Instagram, YouTube, and TikTok www.codependencykate.com

In the first half of this episode we continue to discuss parental abandonment, and what that can look like day to day. The second half of this episode "office hours" we meet with Vanessa, who is really struggling in her marriage. She is particularly having a hard time with the self-doubt when it comes to boundaries. Watch Kate explore that and see what she has to say! Find more @CodependencyKate o...

In this episode we briefly cover the situation from yesterday's caller, Sarah. Then we get into why walking on eggshells as a parent is really emotionally abandoning your child. Find more @CodependencyKate on Instagram, YouTube, and TikTok www.codependencykate.com

What happens when one parent leads with control and the other leads with gentleness? In this episode, we break down the tension between an authoritarian husband and a wife who wants a more calm, connected approach—and why this clash creates confusion and instability for kids. We talk about what each style gets right (and wrong), and how to move toward a united, steady way of parenting that isn’t d...