CineMortuary Podcast

No clues. No motives. A city full of suspects. Solving this case is going to be murder. Well darn.www.cinemortuary.comTWITTER: twitter.com/cinemortuaryFACEBOOK: facebook.com/cinemortuaryINSTAGRAM: instagram.com/cinemortuary Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Amazing Cage, how sweet the sound,That saved a wretch like me. I once was lost but now am found,Was blind, NO NOT THE BEES.www.cinemortuary.comTWITTER: twitter.com/cinemortuaryFACEBOOK: facebook.com/cinemortuaryINSTAGRAM: instagram.com/cinemortuaryBeginning shamelessly stolen from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v_mW8mBzmHo Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

"It's not a horror film though, is it?"The thing is, if Dave hadn't been put on the spot he would've chosen something more gore-tastic. And if Chris hadn't screwed up his calendar, we could've scheduled this episode for New Year's Day as The Mummy Returns' is quite a 3pm New Year's Day on BBC One film. And if Rob hadn't stood there looking as lost as David O'Leary at the end of his run as manager...

Having travelled beyond the Long Hard Road Out of Hell (aka 2017), This Is the New Shit. Rob, Chris, and Dave review the House of Haunted Hill remake; where instead of some Disposable Teens, we have The Nobodies. They better Get their Gunns (from coffins-within-coffins for some reason) and break out the Fight Song as our Beautiful People must spend a night in said haunting house without dying. Wil...

The final episode of 2017 takes us into the realms of weird space flowers, weird sports zombies, and weird Jeff Goldblum wandering onto the set until they were forced to put him in the film. Chris (sponsored by water®) explains why the 1956 is his favourite horror film, while Rob and Dave play switcheroo on their opinions about the remake. But who's to say our hosts haven't been replaced by alien...

It's the second round of Dave's Laserdisc shitbin. This time we look at Mary Shelley's Frankenstein (1994), which IMDB describes as follows:Based on Kenneth Branagh's novel, "Kenneth Branagh" tells the story of Kenneth Branagh, a promising young doctor who, devastated by the death of Kenneth Branagh during childbirth, becomes obsessed with bringing Kenneth Branagh back to life. His experiments lea...

Rob, Dave, and Chris bring that beat back as we dive headfirst into 2001. We talk about Drowning Pool, The Matrix, and the fashion sense straight outta Buffy the Vampire Slayer. You can hear the nostalgia in our voices - we may even go and get frosted tips after this. Oh and Jason Voorhees is frozen, woken up hundreds of years later, shot up into space, whatever.www.cinemortuary.comTWITTER: twitte...

In 2007, Rob's favourite film was remade by the (at the time) hottest horror director in Hollywood. Now ten years later, Dave and Chris make him relive what turned out to be one of his worst viewing experiences, because we love him that much. Can the gang survive the trip to Haddonfield? Or will they get lost forever in Rob Zombie's geographically confused clusterfuck?www.cinemortuary.comTWITTER:...

This time we dive deep into Dave's DVD pile of despair. It's a shark film so the Jaws 'references' (if we're being extremely charitable) begin from frame one. We should be angry at the lack of effort all round, but we just get confused over whether Shark Attack II takes place in Australia or South Africa. Or both? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

EPISODE 1. CineMortuary kicks off with a review of a film from the Alien franchise. No, not that one. Nor the other one. Instead we delve into Jean-Pierre Jeunet's extremely subtle masterpiece. Along the way we find who Rob thinks is a "shovel with eyes", what genre Dave pretends this is to alleviate the pain, and slowly realise how many times Chris says "in all fairness" (well, we don't, but now...