Charmed Rewind

Harry has absolutely no luck at all, Macy doesn't check her Black Eyed Privilege, the villains get wiped out super easy, and Phelan wonders why Parker doesn't just turn into a frog and hop over a ring of fire.

The Charmed Ones are just as good as ever when all of the Elders are killed, also Ghost Mom displays clear favoritism by not getting Macy a cool weapon. But to be fair, Macy completely loses it over almond milk.

Parker turns into Magnum PI, Alastair transforms into a third rate magician, and Niko becomes Bizarro Darryl. Put on your amazing sequin body suit and place your bets as to who will make it to the finale. 

Can you drink a Galvin of root beer? What cases go to Small Claims Whitelighter Court? What do you do about Bugle Fingers? These questions and more are brought up but may never be answered.

It's snoozes aplenty when a cult comes to town and Harry becomes a super old man, who is normal. Can the girls save him before he turns into oatmeal?

Mel wears gold lamé and dropkicks Charity like a straight white male. Meanwhile, we find out just what's part of a Charmed One's balanced breakfast. 

Mel and Maggie switch bodies, Parker considers switching from guitar to ukulele, and Macy forgets to tell Galvin that Jumanji is off.

Macy brings her favorite TV characters to life and I desperately try to think of an appropriate episode title that doesn't relate to Maggie's, er...enLIGHTening situation. 

Maggie begins her transformation into full Phoebe One, Mel snoozes through the ep, and Macy and Galvin see a Miss Cleo about a dolphin. 

Macy digs for answers to her (dead) past and meets the K-Mart-keeper, Maggie goes to a party and orders some margs, and Harry is sad because he didn't have a cooler son. But perhaps the biggest twist of all...Lucy is a sleeper agent!

Maggie joins a singing ensemble with a sassy teacher who wants to kill the audience softly with his song. They encounter their greatest enemy, Jean-Ralphio. An outfit so bonkers appears I have to pause for like five minutes to recover. 

Harry's stuck in Hell-jail, Galvin broke his leg and gained a personality, and Maggie fake cries because Parker wants to know if she has the lecture notes.  How much recap is too much recap? What is a good portmanteau for Macy/Galvin? All I know is it smells like white privilege in here.

We actually enjoyed an episode?! In this mid-season finale, it's laughs aplenty as the women (not girls) try to throw a Christmas party, Parker attempts to steal their Charmed DNA, Macy wears (pants), and Galvin passes out on the toilet. Jingle hell is other people, Archie. 

Maggie can't decide between an internship with a dating app or EvilCo, Mel joins a group of rogue witches, and Macy wears mom jeans. Phelan insists on including the terrible Modelland theme song.

Hipster Torgo shows up at the house for help and Parker reveals his horrible secret...he's got diabetes! Things have taken a turn for the worse in New Charmed.

Lucy is hit with Sub Rosa pheromone, Macy sees Miss Cleo to inquire about her origins, and Galvin takes framed photos of himself to his birthday party. Were we drunk on wine coolers watching this?

Why exactly are two women fighting over Galvin, a living Ambien? Just how awful is Mel? Was their mother secretly evil? And is Harry stuck in the worst episode of Quantum Leap? In the original timeline, all of these questions were answered.

Sure Angela might kill a lot of people, but what happened to women supporting women?! Also the Elders are...y'know.

Maggie wants to throw a sweet Halloween party but the Harbinger of Evil is totally throwing off her groove. Meanwhile, Macy's lab buddies do some Halloween science and we meet the elusive sorori-lawyer. Back off, white man!

The women (not girls) find themselves in a Liar Liar situation. Meanwhile, we continue to dive deep into Macy's heritage. Did their mother sell her for drug money? It's just like Brexit.

In the premiere of our Charmed 2018 podcast, the Charmed Ones take on Mr. Freeze and the patriarchy. Did it hold up to the original?