Cashing in with T.J. Miller

Cash and TJ talk about the cruise debacle, drive-through humor, mood-altering substances, dog vomit, sea world, tic-tacs, fake IDs, captain Ahab, facial wraps, the industrial revolution, whale watching, criminals at Kinko's, and ask the question, "Why are their no tea table books?" Read this episode on a piece of papyrus paper while wearing a rubberized jumpsuit. Learn more about your ad choices....

Cash and TJ talk about the 4th of July, holiday re-shuffling, pre-trivializing, sex riddles, lockbox pockets, vitamin pill wards, ancient aqueducts, brass knuckles, closet wallets, outdoor candelabras, foldable bicycles, trapper keepers, and Underoos, and ask the question, "Are parties going out of style?" Listen to this watershed episode after lighting an eternal sparkler, and then matriculate do...

Cash and TJ talk about marriage proposal techniques, Google rage, hair stylist love, hubcap keys, leg shirts, family week, Rocky, Olympic skating, time release putdowns, DR J, etch-a-sketch, X Games, and ask the question, "Where's the best place for a spinning full body release?" Put the seat back and listen to this episode while taking the summer off, then send it out to sea in a Dr. Pepper bottl...

Cash and TJ talk about safe words, mammal monogamy, pansexuality, Obama masks, Willie Wonka, Ewoks, tilty tables, mobile homes, The Sopranos, slow dancing, rude awakenings, Yogi Bear 3DP, and ask the question, "Can you eat while skydiving?" Listen to this episode while enjoying a dipper lipper, because they don't leave anything in the tank and you can't take it with you. Learn more about your ad c...

Cash and TJ talk about southern accents, lottery tickets, belly buttons, drug-addled llamas, Heathcliff, Garfield. horse racing, front tents, gift cards and ask the question, "Is Clifford the ultimate service dog?" Plug into this episode while wearing a bulletproof vest, the Eagle has landed. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Cash and TJ talk about flag etiquette, intergalactic bigotry, sperm control, balloon animals, summer songs, music festivals, sky malls, whale jazz, faking death, Bruno Mars, bumblebee awareness, birthday cakes, and ask the question, "How loud do you listen to the podcast?" This Kung Pao Pod tastes like summer, run through the sprinklers while listening. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit mega...

Cash and TJ talk about elitist toasters, Model T Fords, moonshine rooms, gin cellars, wizell worms, hells hikers, octopus minglers, flat globes, yellow-bellied cowards, and ask the question, "Why does everything taste worse when it's been cooked in a microwave?" Listen to this "Best of T.J Miller" episode like your ancestors did, by "taking a roll in the hay!" Learn more about your ad choices. Vis...

Cash and TJ talk about Tex Mex, cola wars, bulbous face, glosters, aging blankets, thin littles, drum circles, Elton John, fun juggers, toothless alligators, blue emus, and ask the question, "Where would you put your Oscar?" Listen to this episode in the Wingman State while reading a copy of Bus Weekly, it will make you purrr. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Cash and TJ talk about stationary unicycles, business card cemeteries, Wolfgang Puck, prénatal vitamins, Captian Ahab, whale face, hemlock shots, hand washing, iPhone coasters, and ask the question, "What is your spirit liquor?" This episode will lick your soul, listen from the back of a banana seat. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Cash and TJ talk about Twin Peaks, Green Eggs and Ham, seasonal crumpets, cake babies, pop-up books, Hallmark Original Movies, earth tours, speeding tickets, and ask the question, "What is Spike TV trying to prove?" Put both legs to sleep and listen to this episode, it will be chamber music to your ears. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Cash and TJ talk about ninja prodigies, werewolf remedies, symbolic roses, adopted highways, snobby chopsticks, brittle people, badger sitting, elbow butter, secret operations, snipple whips, and ask the question, "Is TJ an idiot savant?" No fruits were abused in the recording of this historic podcast. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Cash and TJ talk about James Bond, bobblehead girlfriends, angst-ridden superheroes, kindergarten sociopaths, restless leg dancing, bird bath lovemaking, green grape peanut butter muffins, elementary school stuntmen, the price of fame, passive resistance, and ask the question, "How grumpy was Gandhi when he got hungry?" Destroy this episode after listening, and don't ever let your X hear it. Learn...

Cash and TJ talk about The Loch Ness Monster, Sasquatch, poison oak face, human windmills, car camping, sleepover techniques, eye blankets, energy straps, tonsils in a jar, and ask the question, "Does Yowie swing both ways?" If you're eating this episode, take little bites. This is not a drill! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Cash and TJ talk about appliance violence, tether jacking, McFlurry mules, greatest hits albums, Marmot elbow, boring buttons, shirtless bikers, weird dreams, gift techniques and ask the question, "Can you sleep your way to the bottom?" Choose your own adventure from this episode, it's better than a strainer full of gravel. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Cash and TJ talk about coffee addiction, national pod dump day, masturbation headaches, adult chocolate milk, esteem scales, gravel pudding parfait, prolonging your prime, Lindsey Lohan, Central America, and ask the question, "Are hostages just friends at gunpoint?" Pop open the safety seal on this hot, tasty pod and listen while enjoying a Morning Jack. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit meg...

Cash and TJ talk about The Scopebow Incident, superstitions, confessions, blowing beans, locksmith power, The Fast and Furious 6, clubbed feet, deli meats, tilt a whirls, and ask the question, "When was the last time you climbed a tree?" Listen to this episode while whipping your weeping willow with a lampshade on your head. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Cash and TJ talk about airport tents, mud rooms, homeless hook-ups, toddler face, sleep charting, sensitive nipples, advice shows, appreciating youth, Shamrock Shakes, and ask the question,  "What's more American then a fat elbow?" Listen to this porkcast in your studio apt while eating a burrito as big as your head..... Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Cash and TJ talk about the new baby, cookie pies, recreational epidurals, labor negotiations, caramel corn, head touching, nurse tipping, hair condoms, staff stealing, angry billy goats and ask question, "Where do you put the umbilical cord?" Listen to the human words in this episode while watching along on Facepic. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Cash and TJ talk about astronomers, metal jockeys, bathroom phones, Duran Duran, Billy Idol, emergency exits, Robert Frost, peeping Toms, snowboarding lingo, getting older, and ask the question, "Who is Mr. Champagne and why does he order so much room service?" Listen to this episode on a chairlift while counting your toes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Cash and TH talk about mans search for meaning, fake mustaches, functional belts, eye Milk, REI babysitting, genital presentation, Halloween parties, bathroom attendants and ask the question, "Are we all just hypocrites?" Listen to this episode 19 times in succession while drinking a 19-hour energy, it's a Worlds Record. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this fan appreciation episode, Cash and TJ talk about diet books, funeral clowns, bacon chasers, conjoined twins, harassment techniques, back tattoos, cactus gifts, and ask the question, "Why is Hammurabi's code so hurtful?" Make sure to buy some stock options for this episode and then read it on a grain of rice. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Cash and TJ talk about man thongs, imaginary friends, elephants' nemesis, hiccup cures, softwood floors, Toblerone McFlurrys, Carnival card games, nature's Rubix cube, and ask the question, "Why is Waldo on the run?" Turn off the lights and listen to this one in the shower. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Cash and TJ talk about space beer, zero gravity sticky zippers, sexaholics vs kleptomaniacs, little fibbies, nozzle cream, chocolate laxatives, silent Sundays, and ask the question, "Can you text from the outskirts of Yonderland?" Drink some Tang before this teeny tiny episode, and make sure you listen in the dark. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Cash and TJ talk about Jamba births, acceptable alcoholism, bad analogies, midwives, self-flagellation, drunkles, Swedist day, sex acne, corporate holidays, ugly donkeys, and ask the question, "How great is Bakersfield on a Saturday?" Adjust the temperature in your car and listen to this episode with a loved one, things could be worse. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Cash and TJ talk about famous last words, God's existence, cloning, Wang Chung, bad roommates, hoarders, optimum shirts, square footage jerks and ask the question, "Can a real man carry a purse?" "Break the Glass" and listen to this episode, you'll be just getting started. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices