Camp Counselors with Zachariah Porter and Jonathan Carson

In this mini episode, we are reading listener-submitted stories about camper who went searching for a hot military pen pal, but instead got a humbling reality check, a college partner project feud got so bad it ended up in the news, and a camper who turned heads all day, but not in the way she’d planned. Get your tickets to see  Zachariah Porter's new Live Comedy Tour ! Want BONUS CONTENT? Jo...

In our final episode of the year we’ve got some big surprises. Counselor Zachariah finds out his mom has a secret half-brother! Speaking of brotherly love, we also get into our love for the Jonas Brothers Christmas movie, judge some truly unwell neighbor holiday decor, and make an important announcement: we’re taking a short break from the podcast, but we’ll be back in the new year. Plus, we get i...

In this mini episode, we’ve got another batch of listener-submitted stories. First up, one camper needs help addressing an uncomfortable situation with her stepson's very loud very gay late night wrestling. Then we take it to Pittsburgh, where a summer school van run turns into a literal cliffhanger. And finally, we enter the realm of spiritual warfare: a teen gets dragged to a priest for an exorc...

This week at Camp Shady Birch, we’re unwrapping the worst part of the holidays: truly unhinged gift guides and the chaos of simply being alive in December! Counselor Zachariah kicks things off with a parking violation saga for the ages after he found a bright orange sticker slapped on his perfectly legal parked car and immediately took to the internet to publicly drag the culprit. Festive! Counsel...

In this mini episode we are reading more listener submitted stories. First up, a Cancun wedding trip turns chaotic when a tequila-fueled vacation fling with a younger boss collides with a very sensitive stomach. Then, a quick Sonic run in a comfy romper turns into a drive-through moment so embarrassing our camper still refuses to go back. Finally, we head into the New England woods, where our camp...

This week on Camp Counselors, the holiday chaos begins! We kick off the episode by showing off our newly decorated studio (check it out on youtube duh!) To wet the whistle, we are talking panic attacks, gay sheep whose wool was serving lewks in the West Hollywood scene, and an Aussie band’s canceled show and massive bar tab. Naturally, this spirals into classic counselor TAKE A HIKE rants abou los...

In this mini episode we are reading more listener submitted stories about a camper robbed of her gingerbread glory by the cookie cartel, a midweek snow storm that turned a middle school into an emergency shelter, and a dark tale about a camper interviewed by the FBI… and later visited by a ghost. Get your tickets to see Zachariah Porter's new Live Comedy Tour ! Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON...

In this mini episode we are reading more listener submitted stories! Get your tickets to see Zachariah Porter's new Live Comedy Tour ! Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON ! Check out our website and submit your inquiries for advice, juicy gossip, confessions, and horror stories! Camp Songs: Spotify Playlist | YouTube Playlist | Sammich's Secret Mixtape Social Media: Camp Counselors TikTok Camp Co...

This week’s episode is a full cross-country recap of our travel week. We kicked things off in New York City for Zachariah’s live show, plus his SPICY moment on Hot Ones. From there, we headed straight to Salt Lake City, where a very enthusiastic Mormon couple attempted to convert us. They were like... totally obsessed with us. Then we made a spiritual pilgrimage to Swig to get our hands on some di...

In this mini episode we are reading more listener submitted stories! First, Counselor Jonathan read a confession from a former college junior whose feud with her roommate escalated into a petty act of revenge involving yellow liquid a bottle of mouthwash. Then, Counselor Zachariah breaks down a listener’s journey running the Taco Bell 50K in Denver!! YES FOR REAL! Crunchwraps, wrong turns, and all...

It all started with a simple trip to TJ Maxx. Because every great night begins in the clearance aisle. From there, things only went uphill. Hibachi takeout, a Sister Wives marathon, and a little too much saké that led Zach to start one sided beef with TLC network and then continue to DM one of the stars of the show. This week, we unpack our obsession with reality TV drama, a strong opinion on fake...

In this mini episode we are reading more listener submitted stories! First, a camper discovers her boyfriend is a little too close to his twin brother... like… way too close. Then, a heartwarming story about a grandfather sending a message from the other side. And finally, a seemingly innocent April Fools’ Day prank that turned into 17 years of petty revenge and one perfectly evil text. Get your t...

This week at camp, we’re recapping our wild tour stops through Nashville, Kansas City, and Chicago. Yes, a honky-tonk woman in an arm sling was hitting on us at the Nashville Dolly Parton rooftop bar. Then we cover the riveting story of a man who spent months convincing Costco to give him their iconic $1.50 hot dog sign, and the Vatican finally returning Indigenous artifacts to Canada. Naturally w...

In this mini episode we are reading more chaotic listener submitted stories! First up, a camper lets someone change the song... and accidentally uncovers her fiancé’s double life. Then, a hungover college girl runs over a cup of queso in a parking-garage. And finally, a middle-school leadership camp goes completely off the rails thanks to a mouthwash-chugging, money-stealing bunkmate. From cheatin...

HAPPY HALLOWEEN CAMPERS! This week, we step into the button-eyed world of Coraline for our annual spooky episode! And we're taking you on a journey from the World Worm Charming Championships, to the Taco Bell Ultramarathon! People are literally changing their eye color, Jonathan has Aphantasia, and it's a lot to unpack. Come hang out for Halloween, listen to some unhinged tangents, and meet us in...

In this mini episode, we are reading listener submitted stories about an empty duplex that had an active weekend, a camper whose bachelorette weekend came with one extra bridesmaid, a camper who learned that while she was watching the house, something was watching her. Get your tickets to see Zachariah Porter's new Live Comedy Tour ! Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON ! Check out our website and...

This episode was mixed and edited by Kevin Betts. Get your tickets to see Zachariah Porter's new Live Comedy Tour ! Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON ! Works Cited: ➜ Catherine Woulfe. “Let’s Find a Mate for Ned.” New Zealand Geographic. Accessed 21 Oct. 2025. ➜ Robert Mackey. “New California Law Bans Loud Ads on Streaming Services for ‘Peace and Quiet.’” The Guardian, Guardian News and Media,...

In this mini episode, we are reading listener submitted stories about a camper finding out that kindness may be costing them their fridge, a story about a camper who learned that some guests never leave, and a tale of a camper who learned crisis management through carbs. Get your tickets to see Zachariah Porter's new Live Comedy Tour ! Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON ! Check out our webs...

In this highly emotional episode, Zachariah opens up about the hustle of landing that first big breakout role, while Jonathan pitches his true dream job to the sharks: designing elaborate mini golf courses!! Can you imagine? How freakingg fun. We also dive into the glory of Suite Life legend Kim Rhodes and her HashtagBoyMom MOMMY energy, an off-brand Aura Ring that trapped a man (and his finger) a...

In this mini episode, we are reading listener submitted stories about a camper whose innocent caffeine fix turned into a lifelong core memory of shame, a camper who gave birth to a celebrity, and became the reluctant face of dairy in her county, and t truly scary story about a camper whose weekend retreat became the reason she’ll never rent a cabin again.  Get your tickets to see Zachariah Po...

In this episode, we wander off the beaten path. Literally. We are sharing highly important stories about finding hidden forest trails and why being in the woods feels like our ultimate happy place... until three soaking-wet off-leash mongrel ran straight out of a river and tackled Zach mid-hike. Natr'lly, then this episode takes a turn with a teacher arrested for a fart-spray prank, a bizarre kind...

In this mini episode, we are reading listener submitted stories about a camper who found out book clubs aren’t always about books, a camper who brought home more than bargain from the thrift store, and a camper stuck in a Girl Scout Final Destination moment. Get your tickets to see Zachariah Porter's new Live Comedy Tour ! Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON ! Camp Songs: Spotify Playlist | YouTu...

Let's get LOUUUUUUD! (scream it like j-lo hosting a cruise pool party) This week at Camp Shady Birch, things are getting louudddd. (ok im done lol) We kick things off with a hella overstimulating dining experience. Then, like your stomach after too much custard, the energy shifts as we follow the unbelievable story of three nuns on the run. The of course there is the sweetest story of Chewy, a nas...

In this mini episode, we are reading listener submitted stories about a camper who just wants one-on-one time with her best friend, but keeps finding the girlfriend tagging along, a camper who turned Facebook sleuthing into a full-blown wedding exposé, and a truly scary story about a camper’s mom who woke up in the middle of the night to sounds coming from down the hall. Get your tickets to see Za...

Saddle up, campers!! We went to our first rodeo, yall! In this episode, we dive deep into the wild wild world of bull riding. Bedazzled cowboy hats, cowgirls doin the ole do-see-do, and not a single funnel cake in sight. This episode was mixed and edited by Kevin Betts. Get your tickets to see Zachariah Porter's new Live Comedy Tour ! Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON ! Works Cited: ➜ Andrew Ku...