Busting Addiction and Its Myths

In this article, we discuss the often-avoided topic about money and its hold over us. We entitle this essay: "Does Addiction Hide in Your Wallet"? The key point is that it's not about the money, it's about the compulsion and the certain knowledge that I cannot stop doing this and start doing the opposite on my own. We cover the following topics: The odds are that in an addicted...

In this article, I ask the question: "Are You Addicted and Not Even Know It"? We cover the following topics: You could be addicted to the addict himself and not know it until you have to look at it and begin to see your addiction as the cause of your pain. Those who love an addict/alcoholic are just as powerless over their loved one's addiction as is the addict himself. Co-dependenc...

In this article we discuss the things that signal a potential relapse in the making: There are key signs that the addict typically does not notice or will not acknowledge. Essentially the things that signal a coming relapse are not doing the things that keep us clean and sober. Probably the most prominent sign of a coming relapse is DENIAL which stands for Don’t Even Notice I Am Lying. So even if...

In this article, we discuss the following topics: A return to a more normalized schedule results in a healthy, predictable rhythm for the day and for the night. It helps to have a written schedule of activity for the 24-hour period, even if you just say “play 2-4 pm" as an example. Exercise/fitness: chances are, your physical body has been over-stressed by not eating right and by lack of exer...

In this article, we discuss the importance of one's inner life or our inner space. Embracing the idea that there is a victory in the surrender of old ideas in favour of a healthier way of thinking is a major and necessary factor in the journey out of an addictive life for both the addict and his loved ones. The family members who embrace the idea that they are also greatly affected by addicti...

In this article, we focus on the following topics as they relate to the myths and realities for the suffering family member. Families new to addiction carry the illusion that the problem is with their addict and do not yet know that they, too are as sick as the addict himself. They believe that they have some control over their addict’s behaviour and are shocked to discover that they have zero cha...

In this podcast, I interview Andrew a 30-year-old professional, clean and sober for more than 6 years. The topics we covered were: It’s rare that an addict or alcoholic becomes addicted to only one substance, “poly-addiction” is the norm. Mother is the great enabler. She tries to help him stop, while at the same time allows him to live rent-free in her second home. Andrew hated the way he felt, an...

This records my interview with Tim, who owns and operates a sober living home and is himself a long-time recovering person. This article covers these topics: The secret is there is no secret. Everything an addict or alcoholic needs to know has been written and published, from 1939 until now. The longer an addict/alcoholic stays in a somewhat controlled recovering environment, the greater the chanc...

In this episode called 'Take This Co-dependency Quiz' I take on the myth that the addiction is owned exclusively by the alcoholic or addict and therefore the family must focus its energy on their loved one. We conclude the following instead: Most, if not all, family members of an alcoholic or addict become dysfunctional when living with the disorder. That is why it is called a family dis...

The cunning, baffling, powerful family disease: part 2 of my interview with veteran counsellor Robert. Here is what Robert, one of the counsellors at SafeHouse Rehab Thailand, talks about in the second part of his interview, explaining what it takes for him to stay clean and sober and what one can do (and not do) for a loved one suffering from addictive disease. I have acquired a great deal of emp...

The cunning, baffling, powerful family disease: my interview with veteran counsellor Robert. We invited Robert, our veteran counsellor at SafeHouse Rehab Thailand, to share his extensive experience and fascinating history with me. Here is what we cover in this post: He shared the trauma of his life as a bi-racial child who was given away by his mother at three years old. His dysfunctional family h...

In this article, we gain insight into the drug fentanyl, why it’s popular among addicts, makers and pushers, and what a family can do to help mitigate its effects. It is entirely possible that your loved one addict might be using fentanyl, which is rapidly replacing heroin as a drug of choice. Fentanyl is incredibly appealing to the maker and to the user, as it packs a huge punch for a small amoun...

In this article, we show that living in the Now is not only possible but necessary if family members are to heal from the effects of addiction or alcoholism. We learn that: Unfounded fear is characteristic of families who have an untreated addict or alcoholic in their house. The psychological condition of fear is chronic and is a constant companion that threatens the sanity of the parent or spouse...

More on Intervention The purpose of this podcast is to provide more detailed insight into the process of intervention which requires a total commitment and is much more complicated than we see on TV. The overriding goal of an intervention is to get the addict/alcoholic to accept help and go into treatment. You will use the immense power of the group to achieve your purpose. You will use the power...

This podcast is entitled: Intervention Done Well, or Not. Here we cover the following learning about how to, and how not to, do an intervention with a family member who is in the grip of addictive disorder. Intervention can easily be mishandled if the family is not educated about the proper approach, and it should rarely if ever, be done one-on-one. The power of the group is well understood in rec...

In this post, entitled Co-dependency Happens When You’re Not Looking, we cover the following topics: Any family who has an active addict or alcoholic in their midst is vulnerable to co-dependency, without exception. Co-dependents are best defined as people whose lives have become unmanageable as a result of living with an alcoholic (or addict) in a committed relationship. Co-dependents are tied to...

Finally, the research is in: the Cochrane Collaboration, a team of the best minds from Harvard Medical School and the University of Massachusetts (UMASS) Hospital concluded in a meta-review of 28 research studies That Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) not only works but works better than other treatment alternatives. Here is a summary of the findings as reported in the March 12th, 2020 issue of the New Yo...

In this podcast, we report an interview with Tony which we call 'Tony Sounds Off'. It's all about what it takes for a young man to achieve the type of high-quality sobriety that he has attained by surrendering. Yes, surrendering. We learn the following: It took Tony three serious attempts before he threw in the towel and sincerely asked for help. He was one of the lucky ones by his...

Q & A about AA Bruno J. and his guest Tony agreed on a number of important topics in their discussion about the value of Alcoholics Anonymous - AA - in their recovery program. Here's what we concluded: The evidence is clear that Alcoholics Anonymous aka AA has proven to be a tried and true method of staying sober for millions of alcoholics around the world. Regardless of age, social class...

Q & A about AA  Bruno J. and his guest Tony agreed on a number of important topics in their discussion about the value of Alcoholics Anonymous - AA - in their recovery program. Here's what we concluded: The evidence is clear that Alcoholics Anonymous aka AA has proven to be a tried and true method of staying sober for millions of alcoholics around the world. Regardless of age, social clas...

Brain Damage? - Not in My Family! Our topic is brain damage caused by alcohol and drug abuse, and we quote the case of Aaron Hernandez, a brilliant young NFL superstar whose life ended tragically, but not after he himself inflicted grievous damage to society. Here is what we review in this article: Much as we resist the thought as anathema to our way of thinking, addiction is a complex brain disor...

How Sick Are You Really? We’ve had many people ask that we publish more about addiction as a family disease, so let’s call this post How Sick Are You Really? It's a provocative question, but we ask it that way to make some important points: Addiction and alcoholism are known as family diseases because they affect every member of the family in profound ways that are not evident to the family....

AA is a Boys’ Club, Right? In this post and podcast, you will learn some truths about Alcoholics Anonymous from an unlikely source, readers of the New York Times who came to the defence of AA. We cover the following topics: There are many myths out there that need to be dispelled if we wish to give as many alcoholics, and we would say addicts, fewer reasons to cross us off the list. The charge aga...

Is He a Money Drunk, Too? In this post, we learn more about what it means to be a money drunk, that is, using wanton spending and being in debt to feel good for just a little while, heedless to the financial consequences inflicted on the family. We cover these topics: Being a money drunk means that you use money as a drug, that you have a compulsion to spend and use debt to feel better about yours...

I call this episode #2 of Season 2:  How can the power of Now heal the pain? Let’s approach the issue of addiction and what it does to an ordinary family, a loving, typical well-meaning family and see how living in the Now can help heal the pain. Here’s what we cover: No one in the family is spared the damage that comes from addiction by a member of the family. Fear of what may happen in the futur...