Burn & Rave

On this episode, the boys of Burn & Rave solve the Covid vaccine problem with a new testing option, help you cheat in the beer mile, and put the homeless to work as gasoline entrepreneurs. Things get weird when Sam cries (*again) and brings up his children and Walt Whitman, but as always, Ryan is there to dry his tears with a tissue attached to a torque wrench. P.s. The secret word is "Sq...

Sam needs help with an ethical dilemma and Ryan is just the well-trained philosopher and mechanic to advise him. Also, Sam explains "thirst traps" to Ryan and Ryan explains what's inside Sam's DMs. Inventions include Murder AirBnB, ShitFit, and Gummi Bear Steroids.  They also get lost on a Centaur tangent that will likely get them banned.  Tune in, vibe out, and please enjoy th...

In this brilliant new episode of Burn & Rave, Ryan and Sam finally come clean about their encounter with a homeless man. Sam rides in the fastest car on the planet and discloses the perks and pitfalls of having wealthy friends.  We learn that Ryan doesn't like to be touched, and he invents the perfect dinnerware for fast-paced families.   P.s. Sam drinks Ryan's milkshake. Tune in, vi...

Ryan wreaks havoc in San Francisco in a semi-truck, proselytizes, and defends ugly dogs (and people). Meanwhile, Sam can't believe what's happening in parking lots post-Covid, has a plan to boost homeless employment, and tricks Ryan into being his mannequin.    Tune in, vibe out, and please enjoy this episode responsibly. Remember: "Do not go gentle into that good night, Old age sho...

Things get personal in this episode as Ryan and Sam share some bad-dad stories and disclose their need to relax.  But also . . . aren't starfishes really just the buttholes of the sea? Ryan explains his Goo Gone addiction and Sam reveals his second job: Internet Troll. Things are getting kind of serious. Tune in, vibe out, and please enjoy this episode responsibly. Remember: "Do not go g...

In this episode, Sam goes to Hollywood and we learn that Ryan was a bully, and a very good one at that.  In science, the geniuses at Burn & Rave invent a new app for wives to control their husbands' outbursts, and they explore reproductive vs. recreational organs. Tune in, vibe out, and please enjoy this episode responsibly. Remember: "Do not go gentle into that good night, Old age s...

Because we are the most honest and transparent podcast on earth, which is why you love us, let me (Sam) be frank: I have no f*cking idea what this new episode is about. Joe just texted me and said it'll be done in half an hour, and I have no idea what it's about because we recorded it weeks ago, and I have had multiple concussions since. I would ask Ryan if he remembers, but Ryan can&apo...

We are back with a brand new episode! (Thank you, Joe!!) Fatherhood takes centerstage as we tip our hats to our graduating offspring. We trade Hawaii stories and we begin to finally understand each other. Also, in pop culture news, we conduct a social experiment involving phallic tattoos, discuss cosplay breeding, and most importantly, the utterly macho men behind the mics provide tips for vanquis...

(This is a rerun of a previous episode. Listen to the beginning and you will understand why.) P.s. This show was chosen as it represents a pivotal episode in the evolution (or devolution) of the podcast. Once you talk about zombie vibrators, there's really no turning back. Thank you for sticking around after this! We deeply appreciate your support. RECAP: In their enlightened state, the  Burn...

In this inspirational new episode, Sam reveals his inner envy, Ryan demonstrates tremendous sphincter control and explains how  easy it us to put a nail through one's nose. Also, in this special pets’ edition, Sam encounters a dog with a greeting fit for all humans, Ryan has a problem with cats, and somehow they also invent sperm bullets. Hang on to your brain cells. This ride may knock them...

What do you get when you combine flan with baklava? Find out on this special food episode of Burn & Rave. From human cracklin' to fusion desserts, fortune cookies, and robot delivery to solve the hunger crisis. Also, Ryan and Sam  teach men how to play dead for a good cause, uncover medical school games your doctor doesn't want you to know about, and attempt to save the world yet aga...

In this Grammy-not-nominated episode, Sam comes out as bicepual and the boys explore ways to make Texas a little tougher. In fitness news, Sam considers a record-breaking breath-holding challenge, and for our entrepreneurial audience, Ryan and Sam contemplate the right to sell body parts, the high value of Sam's ashes, and Ryan's quick car wash funeral service. Tune in, vibe out, and ple...

In this highly anticipated,  ground-breaking, and mind-expanding episode, Ryan and Sam create a ninja toy for nerds and discuss the efficiency of using Ryan as a human shield. We also learn that Ryan is probably a Merman while Sam remains haunted by his vertically challenged life. And in science this week, Ryan and Sam invent a sub-car for families looking to explore the ocean in their mini-vans (...

In this brilliant new episode, we finally get to the bottom of Ryan's backdoor problems (because of course we do).  Also, the geniuses at Burn & Rave reveal the truth behind Slim Jims, hot dog farming, and the controversy surrounding  Satan and that Lil Nas X fellow. In current events, Ryan and Sam debate the pros and cons of a nearby 7-11, opera as a homeless deterrent, and the delicious...

Another week, another record-breaking episode of Burn & Rave! The boys invent an app to support fatherhood and Ryan demonstrates why he's a superior husband. Hint : Chocolate. And in a world of crypto, Apple Pay, and Square, Ryan and Sam invent a currency and a way for men to pay the check . . . every single time.  (They will continue to work on a version 2.0 for the ladies.) Also, can a...

On this brilliant new episode of the world-(in)famous BURN & RAVE podcast, Ryan and Sam extol the virtues of  fan-created art as well as discuss their growing Arab and Muslim fanbase. They also get to the bottom of Ryan's colonoscopy, pun intended, and they discuss the downside of suicide bombing (Hint: The virgins may not be virgins. Also, this may result in injury.) And in this week&apo...

You've waited all week to finally learn how Ryan maintains his girlish figure and why we need  quick-poopin pants. Well, the anticipation is over.  In this brilliant new BURN & RAVE episode, Ryan and Sam discuss Mozart's influence on the developing baby brain, puberty-themed podcasts, and very affluent chickens. We also discover that Ryan is all natural in surprising places and Sam&a...

In this episode of Burn & Rave, Ryan and Sam discuss the state of comedy in America, reach arounds, high fructose corn syrup, half price haircuts for balding men, and Joe and his Demon Balls! Also, Ryan explains Tokyo Drifting with Taco Bell trays. (That's a real thing, but please don't try this at home (or away)). Please enjoy this episode responsibly, and always remember: "Do...

We were not supposed to air this episode, but if you're going to be indoctrinated, then you might as well be aware of it.  So in this episode, we explain our devious plan. Ryan and Sam also break down fitness and dieting into unmanageable parts, share stories of their canine heroism, and plan the world's first post-Covid antibacterial foam party! And everyone is invited! Please enjoy thi...

What  does Al Pacino and Sam's maternal grandma have in common? Find out in this episode of Burn & Rave ! Discussions include the importance of hearing and the benefits of hearing loss. Sam explains the downside of muscles and Covid vaccines while Ryan extols the virtues of his big veins. Also, Joe gets a promotion! And the boys invent hair bags, a recyclable and environmentally safe alte...

In this historic episode, Ryan explains global warming in the most scientific way possible, and it's all your fault, while Sam helps demonstrate the most advanced wrestling move in the history of the sport. (Use with caution). We also learn that Ryan may drink gas, Ikea leads to heart attacks, and HGTV needs to combine some shows. 1000lb Hoarders? Please enjoy this episode responsibly, and al...

What do coconuts, the French, cereal, torque wrenches, cheese balls, and mobile brothels have in common? They all somehow come up in this new episode of Burn and Rave. Sam also recounts his charity run for students as Ryan explores the money-making potential of  a unique, low-budget planetarium idea. (Black lights required). Please enjoy this episode responsibly, and always remember: "Do not...

Ryan turns personal trainer and helps Sam work out his eyeballs. The boys also ponder the usefulness of cat filters and the law, explore the merits of Valentine's Day, and research the efficacy of a potential pregnancy study.  Energy sources and mindfulness are also discussed as Ryan and Sam burn and rave at close of day! P.s. This podcast is gonna get drunk because it turns 21 today! Thanks...

Did you know the human body is mostly made of water or that Ryan fights with refrigerators  or that alligators may be the most overlooked domestic pets?  In this award-not-winning 20th episode of  Burn & Rave , the boys ponder the subjects of anger and maturity and invent a Segway for land and sea. Someone is gonna make a million dollars from this podcast . . . and it probably won't be th...

In this episode of Burn & Rave, Ryan out-Kutcher's Ashton as he explores an epic prank (that needs to happen) and Sam cries (not about the prank). He's doing a big run for students and he gets all in the feels. Ryan soothes him. The whole thing is very awkward actually. There's also a small dose of ethics, a large dose of humor, and a pinch of Joe's sound in every delicious...